iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,471 Blog Posts

Time to Kick A Few Doors Down

Fun day in Flyville, as I get to speak to my tax attorneys and corporate ball jugglers for the discount rate of $475 per hour. Now some of you midwesterners, persons living about parts of the country where flying over it is the single best characteristic to a person such as myself, $475 per hour is 100% tragedy. Often times I wonder if it’s cheaper to kill them. Nonetheless, “The Fly” remains compassionate in the face of never-ending assaults upon my castle.

Do you know why markets are up today?

Because they’re open (rim shot!)

Look you, life hasn’t always been this easy for me. I grew up on the sidewalk and had about 1 fistfight per week, hardly any of which were necessary endeavors. I am aggressively on the prowl at all times (no rapist). Right now I am in pursuit of happiness, which is very hard to attain, especially for a person, such as myself, who sees the very worst in mankind and clamors for an end of days scenario–catching people completely by surprise.

Nevertheless, I trot on–because that’s what I do.

Take everything away from me: my business, my house, car, valuables, this blog, The PPT, etc. and guess what? I’ll have all that shit back before you can scream “bloody murder.”

Why, how?

I have the toolset necessary to duplicate success, like a well oiled machine that only knows how to churn out money. Circumstance and “good luck” had nothing to do with my success. Zero doors were opened for me. I fucking kicked them shits down and hit everyone inside those rooms with gravity hammers, to get what’s rightfully mines.

Top picks: B. Fucking Gross as JNS, JAZZ and BITA.

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20 comments

  1. zuuuul

    Buying SPY puts if it sails above $210.

    Join me, Fly. I know you want to.

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  2. matt_bear

    Jazz was a transformer that was killed. 🙁

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  3. TaoOfPatrick

    Cue the Violins!

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  4. braveflaps

    Two great posts in a row – not bad for a Friday, sir, indeud.

    Now who’s on the FROyo?

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    • Dr. Fly

      I really need to periscope me doing a post. It takes me no more than 2 minutes, a single stream of consciousness. I edit after I post.

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      • braveflaps

        Well on that front, you have never wavered. I have been reading you for years and said very early that you could have ruled either DC or Hollywood. That you have not set foot in either place is testament to your honesty and standing as a man, and all that that implies.

        Huzzah, sir – to you and yours, eternally.

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  5. TJWP

    Don’t lie fly, you would much rather burn it all down than allow someone to steal it from you.

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  6. Marc David

    Headline: Apple Inc. Shares Fall As Watch Sells Out Across Globe

    I don’t get it… I really don’t.

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    • duckkell

      trying to decide which one I want all morning…Ive never ever rushed to get one of their new releases. This is different

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  7. tradercaddy

    LegalZoom has a 20% off coupon.

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  8. teslawasright

    Awesomeness!

    Drink on – drink Talisker!

    Good Day!

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  9. budh

    Rich fuckers in NY get richer by hosing good hard working Americans in fly over country.

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  10. taxmonster

    You need to find readers who were ex public accounting stewards and use to charge 600-800 an hour at the national firms. Just saying.

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  11. pyromonoxide

    it’s going to be tough to get my taxes done this weekend with an Exodus beta to check out! Woooot.

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  12. jonny

    “rim shot!”, should be “rimshot”.

    No need to thank me, as you were.

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  13. biffer

    Head scratcher for me.Maybe someone can explain the trading in GBX.32% short.Big vol pocket above.High beta.Beating estimates.etc.Bid and ask can change 30 40 cents in seconds.Been like that for weeks.Same thing everyday.Just beta?I have May 60 calls.Fly,anyone?

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  14. job121

    How much does Gross make a year? Noticing JNS net income is $150 mil.

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