I would make this war as severe as possible, and show no symptoms of tiring till the South begs for mercy.
-General William Tecumseh Sherman
Hello people south of the dixie! How yawl doin’ tonight? Today is the 150th anniversary marking the historic conclusion of America’s civil war, via THE SURRENDER AT APPOMATTOX.
“Sign that shit, bitch.”
After the civil war ended, the Northern Masters sent large armies to occupy, police and rebuild the southern states. In many of these states, most of which were ardently backwards and barbarically racist, Northern Masters educated the people how to pay others for work done on the farm. The south soon transformed from a slave state, of the old traditional Roman kind, to a capitalistic haven filled with craven bible thumping gun nuts.
To this day, people of northern persuasion chuckle at the south’s obsession with guns, knowing they didn’t know how to use them when it counted. Nonetheless, we are sure you did try hard to win the war– and meant no malice by enslaving an entire race of people for the purposes of profit. The bible isn’t very explicit in that regard and murder is certainly something that is condoned, especially if the cause is mandated.
At any rate, I am sorry to interrupt your festivities and your pledge of allegiance sleep over parties. However, as a citizen of the United States and proper gentleman from the north eastern corridor of this vast land, I wanted to thank you for surrendering and permitting my people to educate you and to join its armies for wars designed strictly for offensive purposes.
Now I will play you a song that your friends and family might like, ’round the olde dixie fireside.
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Dr. Fly, thank you for this tribute. BTW it’s “y’all”, as in “you all”, not yawl.
The South will rise again some day, God-willing.
Happy Appomattox day
“To this day, people of northern persuasion chuckle at the south’s obsession with guns, knowing they didn’t know how to use them when it counted.”
Perfection. I don’t know that i need to read another word on the Internet ever again.
Thank you Mr President
I say we try it again. Best of three. You yanks can have all Californians we just want a re-do. We were hungover last time for 4 years.
Californians are all baked. They don’t want to fight. Except for water for their swimming pools.
dude, I need a pool ! great idea…. what were we talking about?
Think how much higher the dollar would be without the southern rubes
Grant won the war. Hence President Grant.
The man also could not stand the sight of blood. On his dinner plate. Ate meat burnt.
“It is to be considered that you are placing a heavy burden on yourselves through all your desire for unright,
through your belief in divinities and praying to them in irresponsibility, because you are denying the real truth
through binding yourselves to an imaginary god, elevating it to be the creator of the worlds and the universe,
paying homage to it and killing people of your kind (fellow human beings) through battle (war) and punishment
in its name.”
“It is to be considered that you are placing a heavy burden on yourselves through all your desire for unright, through your belief in divinities and praying to them in irresponsibility, because you are denying the real truth through binding yourselves to an imaginary god, elevating it to be the creator of the worlds and the universe, paying homage to it and killing people of your kind (fellow human beings) through battle (war) and punishment in its name.”
How am I supposed to trade this valuable information?
http://www.eyewitnesstohistory.com/appomatx.htm
To commemorate this momentous occasion, I propose Congress immediately move to replace our current, terrible version of a national anthem with the Battle Hymn of the Republic, and also making singing it mandatory at all public events, just to rub things in.
Nicely said! There is a lot of good about the south and southern culture, caveat – those living a “modern south”, not the old one.