According to the oracles at the Dow futures pit, located at a pub near you, the Dow Jones Industrial Average will rise by 22.61 points tomorrow. In case you’re wondering, that is after “fair value”, just to give you a much more “precise” reading of the prophecy.
Although last night’s reading was off by about 220 points, give or take a few, I am told that tonight’s prophecy holds considerable weight, in that it has been delivered by the Chief of the Futures Clan of Tomorrow himself.
How did an illiquid biotech stock get to be so big of a position? Slowly. It’s worth mentioning, I have several other positions of similar size. Aside from my EZPW position, everything else is under 10%. I have a bunch of small positions, something unusual for me, done purposely due to market conditions.
Rivers of blood are running in the streets. The Russian Empire has imposed themselves for one last time. Now it’s personal. America is ready and able to smash their Russian faces in. Imagine a whole country filled with white trash. Now you know what we are up against–slavic speaking rednecks.
Everything is lower, save SALE and EGNX. Go figure. I’ve been raising cash over the past few days and have buying power available.
I am looking at YELP getting “lamb-chopped” and wonder when it will stop spinning lower.
For glory…WAR. Yes, this is bump in the road, a tit on the torso. But it’s temporary lads. You are going to regret being such pikers for not buying this dip.
I sold out of IMUC for a tragic 13% loss. It was a small position and I didn’t feel like owning it anymore. Do you know why? Because when markets roar, I like to own offal. On the other hand, when markets decline, I like to be in a position to buy all of the stocks that ran too far when the market was roaring.
In this case, I’ve selected three stooges: WDAY, FEYE and SPLK.
Sure, these stocks might trade lower on me and debilitate my ability to reason in a rational manner. It’s equal to divorcing your wife for a young hotty, only to have her ditch you–immediately thereafter. Sometimes it’s better to keep the olde battle ax, avoid attorney fees and unseemly break up expenses.
At any rate, I think it’s clear to all market participants that the market is weak (extra UUUUkraine). I will be using this weakness to raise cash in losers and/or winners that are not central to my diabolical plans for world destruction. It goes without saying, you should prepare to witness “The Fly” shuffle the deck a bit, if I might be so bold.
Instead of fighting against the NSA, join them. Aren’t you familiar with the olde adage? You and your little pea shooter pistol will not overthrow the government and you certainly will not stop them from spying on you. After all, if you were them, wouldn’t you spy on you?
What exactly are you up to these days, you sneaky devils?
With all of the welfare and illicit activities taking place, Tea Parties and the like, it’s the responsibility of the government to protect, mind you, their $17 trillion economy. Every text and telephone call is being recorded. All of your stupid Facebook status updates and tweets are being archived for future analysis.
The next terrorist is amongst us, person(s) of great interest whose sole goal is to cause anarchy and abscond with our precious freedom (irony alert!).
This is a bankable trend. That’s why I am long SPLK and will continue to be long SPLK, for as long as I live.
The futures trader are filing into their local bars, where they will spend the rest of their evenings, buying and selling an uncertain future, from their phones, inebriated to the point of retardation. Tonight, they feel the market will trade up tomorrow. They’ve predicted the future, for the benefit of us all (how very nice of them), declaring “THE DOW JONES INDUSTRIAL AVERAGE SHALL RISE BY EXACTLY 28 POINTS” tomorrow.
The future has been told. Therefore, anything to the contrary is nothing more than propaganda and lies.
NOTE: The more shots the futures guys consume, the bolder their predictions become. Should they continue to drink at a feverish pace, we might see futures spike by 80 or 90 points! Oh, what joy.
What’s with this tank job in SALE? What’s even more curious is the melt up in their lowly competitor COUP, who must be conducting business in a parallel universe. This god damned stock has given me fits over the past two weeks. I thought this thing would be off to the races, as middle America scrambled to the internet to find coupons. Instead, I get this hell, this underperformance, this infection, cancer of a stock. I loathe it and wish the venture capitalist who funded this project the very worst. I wish it were dead and all of its founders tortured to death in the “Dick Guillotine”, smartly placed in the city square, so that all of the cities inhabitants might enjoy the spectacle.
Well it appears Ackman is getting his full revenge against the school-yard bully in 2014, raiding Icahn’s gym locker and spraying “liquid heat” all over his jock strap. HLF, apparently, is under investigation by the FTC. In my opinion, this isn’t going to stick and is more of a result of very effective and influential lobbying campaign by Ackman and Co, desperate to recover from their HLF short sale debacle.
Moving on, SALE is under pressure again. What a dog. If it wasn’t for the fact that I love the company, I’d sell it. If you are wondering when I might buy more, to average down, the answer is not until the stock stops going lower. I will not catch the knife as it picks up steam to the downside.
As for now, I am focused on three names: FEYE, SPLK and WDAY. My other positions are still there and some are better than others. The market is going through a period of adjustment, one that will crush the skeletons of those playing it wrong.
In summary, today is Pershing Square’s day. I am sure the nerds over there are enjoying the view, as Icahn runs out of the football stadium with his balls on fire.
