After the apes lost their banana trees to arson, foreign apes visited their jungle to offer them some of their bananas. These apes wore elaborate head-dresses and spoke with exotic accents. Normally bananas would sell for $30 per bushel. But give the situation at hand, lack of bananas and excess supply of crazy eyed monkeys, the new imported bananas were to be sold for $60.
At first, the exchange went fucking apeshit. Everyone sold their banana stocks and panic ensued. The Grand Wizard ape stepped in to calm the bloody waters. He lowered the cost of borrowing from the Bank of Ape by an unprecedented 100 basis points. The little apes on the exchange were delighted, throwing shit back and forth between one another, bashing skulls in for fun–the works. Stocks recovered, and not before long, expensive bananas were to be enjoyed.
After a period of 5 years, the apes grew accustomed to fancy imported bananas. Slowly but surely, the price rose from $60 to $100. With the price north of $100, industrious apes began exploring new places to find bananas. Shortly thereafter, they found a bunch of banana trees way up in the mountains. You’d have to be fucking insane to climb up there to get them, so they hired the dumbest apes and paid them a fortune to do the work.
Within a few years time, the jungle was booming with rich apes who worked in the new mountain ranges. The stock market roared, led by mountain range banana stocks. The president of the jungle promoted his new mountain range banana economy like crazy, all the while talking shit about the jungle’s addiction to foreign bananas. He told the citizen apes that the jungle didn’t need those fancy fuckhead apes with funny hats. Soon enough, the jungle would be producing their own bananas and could easily tell those foreign apes to fuck off and to burn in hell.
The citizens enjoyed this rhetoric and re-elected their president for another term.
When the fancy apes heard this shit, they got pissed off. But they didn’t react right away. They continued to sell the jungle apes their overpriced bananas, all the while encouraging them to expand their jungle economy based off the premise of ‘banana independence’. After the jungle apes built it up nice and strong, the foreign apes flooded the jungle with excess bananas, crushing the price and the stocks associated with it. The little apes on the exchange floor went nuts, selling banana stocks left and right until they passed out from exhaustion.
The mountain range banana business went bust and the jungle apes went hungry again.
The end.
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Lmao FIG
Are bananas hard to borrow? Who owns the banana lending business?
Ill lend you bananas, as soon as you pay me Ill go find someone to borrow bananas from.
And the jungle’s schizophrenic approach between fiscal vs monetary policy could best be described as “Yes, we have no bananas today.”
+1 !!
With all the money I’m saving on bananas, I can finally afford to roll around in my big ass ape powered wagon.
LMAO
Bot UBAN, 3x inverse banana ETN
Good find. Thanks for the tip.
Bananas… Apes…
This truly is state of the art punditry.
{Tips hat.)
Luckily for me, I’m hedged through 2015 via /OJ, unlike those simians from Continental Banana.
Some of your best Sir Fly, inspired writing. Crude nearing important bottom, a longer term chart perspective: http://www.chartoftheday.com/20141210.htm?H
https://www.facebook.com/1387094738179663/photos/pb.1387094738179663.-2207520000.1418283148./1387330801489390/?type=1&theater
Then the olangatans swooped in and stored up tons of bananas on the cheap, making out rike bandits.
http://youtu.be/xFDlIjimsK4
This tale is epic. We need an illustrator.
I’m ready to throw bananas. Even monkeys know something is up, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=meiU6TxysCg, to skip the explanation start at 1.30 and know that monkeys prefer grapes over cucumbers.
Flea’s Fables, brought to you by Chiquita
Sounds like there’s a world systems theory critique in here somewhere. Also, forgot to mention how the CIA deposed a lawfully elected Leftist and replaced him with a vicious dictator.
When will the apes learn to 3D print bananas?
Lol! There you go.
Don’t buy banana stocks, invest in elaborate head-dresses
Kill the foreign apes!! Use the newly imported army of Mexican & Honduran apes. They should have to earn their keep (and bananas).
Commodore – please don’t let this be the end! We haven’t addressed the fate of Vladimir Ape…. he isn’t happy either.
Le Fly – You could easily make back your paper losses by making this a children’s book for adults, complete with illustrations, and selling it through the “internet.”
I would buy twenty for Christmas and pass them out to anyone with a sense of humour.
The End? Thank God.
What exactly do you visit this site for if not this sort of brilliance?
The wife can’t understand why I have
been laughing for two days.
looks the market got a bid this morning. will it hold? probably not
So does this mean I should buy CQB or sell CQB?
GPRO is bouncing nicely off the VWAP-Since-IPO this morning.
(h/t Brian Shannon @ AlphaTrends)
What’s the ETF for bananas? Great amusing write, ending a bit too abrupt – are you hinting something 😉
This is super chasing, but I got some $GPRO puts this morning at open. 😀
Too late, Bruce.
I dunno, looks like it took out an important support. Might go to IPO prices pretty soon. Got the puts dated for Jan 2.
This GPRO pump by Fly, if it palys out Bruce’s way, will inaugurate Fly into the status of Cramer:))
Pretty good status there!
And the moral of Fly’s fable is..?
They’re dancing in the streets,
all night long….
don’t wear a banana hammock unless your from Europe. Duh, everybody can see that…..
deadcat bounce imho
long TMF & TQQQ
wonder if Fly will ever mak another pick with his GPRO egg on his face. wow. what a disaster this has been
good point. This type of picks have rather became a norm, unfortunately…
Disaster?
what would you call it then
there is the always present fear that GPRO is a fad and or people will start using their iphones as a cheaper gpro alternatives. Phone camera quality is probably as good as GPRO, or will be soon
They should’ve bought CDS for the bananas.
Alternate energy with banana peels is the future!
Natives are restless and throwing shit again. Sad.
Well, with all the indexes pretty much near 99% retracement from yesterday, either shit is about to get real to the downside again, or it’s drift higher and maybe the bears are sad again?
I prefer to think of it as fertilizer.
What of the zebra picture?
GPRO looks like death.
…and HABT looks like its wanting to be added to the S&P500
Maybe i’ll start my own burger chain and go IPO after opening one or two stores
I’m buying some cheap mountain banana farms to hold for later. If they go banko now it’s a great opportunity. The banana market will recover in time.
Fly is posting much less often an stopped making normal posts altogether. If I had to guess, I think he’s having a nervous breakdown after doing badly this year. He could have simply bought SPY and been up 15% vs. down 15%, quite a defeat. I think everyone goes through bad sells Maybe 2015 will be better for
SPY was overpriced at the beginning of the year, just like it is overpriced now, at 205.
Try buying it today and see how you will do at the end of 2015.
if i buy at 140 and sell at 200, did i buy when it was overpriced?
your logic is about as clear as gravel
You didnt buy at 140. It was 180 at the start of 2014 OVERPRICED.
You lucked out because they ran the banks, biotechs, and credit card companies, and the Fed kept pumping.
Why dont you go on record as buying it today at 205, and see where you stand in one year?
or how about I just keep making money and you keep complaining on blog comment sections
hmm looks like gains being faded
Legalize cana-banana-bis now. Tax the hell out of it.
The last thing we need is more glazed-eyed slobbering sleeping potheads.
Damn, $PDCE can’t hold, CL has got to find some type of price resolution lower before I get interested. Not worth the risk. Sit back, pour yourself a drink, and grab some popcorn, I think we see more selling before we have any type of trend rally into year end and Jan.
this market has aids or something. thank you bond position
god damn it Fly. Another classic. Loved this one.
OK, now buying Key Energy bonds 6.75% due in 2021 @ 50 cents on the dollar,this is nuts!!
GPRO and wti crude = the new correlation
My losses in GPRO now exceed 25%.
Merry Fucking Christmas, kids.
Come Back Fly – We are all in this misery together – You at least made it interesting.