You must admit, this market has a certain, shall I say, je ne sais quoi about it. The death knell has stricken equities. In accordance with the inverse of their mandate, the Federal Reserve is strongly considering a surprise rate hike, in order to expedite the 2nd coming of the great depression.
Jim ‘bow tie’ Rogers, long term commodity champion, died today of stupidity of the brain. Everything is drek, except HABT. As Americans, we do enjoy a hearty burger, or three.
As I gaze into my monitor and bear witness to my own demise, I had a vision, one that had to be relayed to you, the ordinary pleb from the housing tenements.
I envisioned a world without people, a vast sea of silence sweeping the landscape. The apes were running the show and banana stocks were all the rage. These new lads swung from vines and defecated in the jungle, whilst eating plants and worms. But they loved to eat bananas, atop all. At night they’d fornicate with one another and then attempt to bash in the skulls of their enemies. They eventually set up exchanges and started wearing suits. They appointed a “Grand Wizard” ape to run their monetary system, who in turn provided the jungle with the liquidity needed to function as a dysfunctional cabal of shit eating apes.
This Grand Wizard made elaborate speeches. He was a King of garb and liked to see the price of bananas swing around wildly, almost uncontrollably wild, whenever he decided to make a change in his monetary policy. The little apes on the exchange would throw shit at him, whenever he appeared, as he always seemed to fuck them, one way or another. The price of bananas were cratering and although it was good for them as consumers of bananas, their fucking banana stocks were going lower.
Until one day a terrorist ape set fire to all the banana trees, sending the price of bananas through the fucking roof. The little apes were jerking off in public, elated, drinking fermented piss and getting drunk about the jungle. When all of the apes went home that night for supper, there was nothing on the dinner table but worms and plants. All of the fucking bananas had been destroyed.
The end.
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I don’t know why but I have a hankering for banana cream pie.
FIG – An instant classic. Bravo!
I think you left out the bushmeat/ebola part.
What did I just read?
They need to print this passage somewhere in the finance textbooks.
Indeud! For now, I’m making this the background for all my devices.
+1!!
so very funny =2
The end.
The beginning of the Chiquita Co.?
BA BA BA BA
BANANAS!
I will now begin a career writing children’s books.
Love it. Dr. Zeus.
You mean …. Dr. Zaius
Great. You can write children’s stories that children can take literally and adults can read as satire. Will be some grand stories for sure. This one about the Grand Wizard is wonderful.
You’d have to clean the children’s version up a bit though.
nah, the editor could do that. Children, get THEE to bed, without GLEE; without BREAD. Then he could go Roald Dahl on them. Would be beautiful.
That was the BEST shit you ever wrote Cap’n Fly. Nothin like sailin with the Cap’n laddies, even if it winds up bein over the cliff to oblivion!
holy shit
MU or CY?
nice pick with HABT
Morning started out OK, then GPRO broke yesterday’s lows like a bitch. Ugh.
that was awesome! I’d love to see that illustrated!
dare I say your best post ever. pure genius
Terrorist ape and Grand wizard on the same side??
A planet where apes evolved from men?
Doctor, would an ape make a human doll, that talks?
+1 Fryguy LOL.
Very nice read on a not so nice market day. Thanks.
Honest to fuck I just can’t stop laughing
Best thing I’ve ever read.
That is without a doubt the greatest thing I have ever read.
we need more Eva Green.
looks like I was kinda right yesterday about the market tanking
Just one of the many reasons why The Fly is God. Who needs Shakespeare?
This ape dream sounds of my blogs comments section.
I remember my mom reading that bedtime story to me when i was a wee lad. Good times!! lol
What did Jenna say?
Great tale Fly! It has occurred to me that the swoon in oil was to make room for the rate hike. Conspiracies, conspiracies
I enjoy many of your posts, but this one is the best one I’ve ever read.
Disney movie in the works
This is why they call him the blogfather.
You’re losing it dude.
One banana please.
off the deep end much ?
Well written, to be studied by scholars and pikes for years to come. You are the Edgar Allen Poe of the finance industry!
Poe died in Baltimore after being found on the streets wearing another man’s clothes and in a state of delirium.
Doesn’t mean the dude wasn’t super talented. Nor does being as talented as Poe mean a person will be insane.
Also doesn’t mean that to be talented you have to wear someone else’s clothes or be from Baltimore. It doesn’t mean a lot of things.
As far as I can tell all it does mean is that Poe died in Baltimore after being found on the streets wearing another man’s clothes and in a state of delirium. Which, by the way, I find interesting and tragic and somehow fittingly macabre and mysterious for the author of The Raven, Murders in the Rue Morgue, etc.
We should make smoking bananas legal and then tax the shit out of them. Also, bow ties are pretentious and gay.
So, I should short CQB because of the coming banana shortage? Just looking for the trade, boss.
“Jim ‘bow tie’ Rogers, long term commodity champion, died today of stupidity of the brain.”
Lolz.
Also, the parable of the apes and bananas is my favorite bible story.
Jenna said what?
Tomorrow probably gonna be dirt bath for longs.
the only way to make good, consistent $ in this market is with the EFT linear combination strategy I and a few others are using
Or just judge individual charts by their primary trends, most are joining the downtrend now. Now betting on the downtrend is the best strategy for a good month, maybe two. I think it’s insane to have any long money in when the trend is down, but then again not everyone can think like me or the swings in this market would be ridiculous.
I have a skill Jim Rogers doesn’t have: when I sit in a seat, my feet actually touch the floor . he like 2 feet tall or something
Brilliant stuff Fly! I take it all this is run on the BSE (Banana Shit Exchange).
Dr. Fly, do you ever press corporate management teams for change like an Icahn?
These charts are concerning, (no fear monger):
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-12-10/venezuela-default-probability-has-never-been-higher-maduro-working-raise-oil-prices
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-12-10/some-market-folks-are-turmoiling-6th-hindenburg-omen-spotted
@fly – enjoy:
http://hbr.org/resources/images/article_assets/2014/01/fromlawyerstoeconomics-correct.png