Since my move last week, things have gotten a tad out of control at Casa del Fly. For starters, Mrs. Fly is out of control to the upside with spending money. It’s like she’s Greece and I’m Germany, if you catch my drift. I am only interested in war and building catapults to destroy the occupancies of my new neighbors, while she exchanges pleasantries with the people next door and donates money to every hound who knocks on our door.
Thanks to the fact that she gave away most of our old furniture before the move, I now find myself in the most enviable position of having to spend $5,000 per day for the foreseeable future to repopulate my house with wood. Also, she’s hired two sets of cleaning services, taxing me about $1k per month. She procured the new “Fort Knox” package from ADT ($3k), a fucking box that transforms into a bed ($600), steam cleaned all rugs (even the rugs we are pulling up to put wood floors!). The list goes on and on, infintum.
Plus, we haven’t even started the major renovations, with regards to painting whole interior, flooring, bathrooms, extensive trim work, coffered ceilings etc.
But what really pissed me off is my fucking “state of the art” irrigation system, which must’ve cost the previous owner $50 to install. I just had it serviced yesterday and today the fucking lawnmower guy had his Mexicans driving around on their mowers, having a grande old time, eating up my hunter head sprinklers. They don’t cost a great deal of money. As a matter of fact, their cost is almost free. However, I found out too late in the evening and my haunted house of a yard got too fucking dark for me to get in there and repair the fucking things. So, now I will lament over the specter of my new lawncare “professional” eating my sprinklers heads all night long, as the fucking wolves, deer, owls, and whatever the fuck is out there, piss on my irrigation system throughout the night.