iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,458 Blog Posts

Victory Has Been Delayed

Pardon my tardiness, I’ve been partaking in “Battle Sprinkler”, laying the groundworks for war, for the better part of the past two hours. Early reports of an erroneous lawnmower eating my sprinklers has been overturned. It appears, as God is my witness, the sprinkler got lodged under the earth, came loose, then started to wreak havoc. Suffice it to say, I was out there trying to screw in the fucking thing, with the ants and the bees crawling all over me, with little progress to report. It reminds of an old Polock joke, with regards to light bulbs.

VMI reported a good number; but the stock is selling off. Hence, LNN is following suit, in the process–kicking me in the dick.

RFMD decided to commit hari-kari. At this stage, I don’t even care what the news is anymore. Earnings sucked and the stock is giving me the business. I will be a seller.

Lastly, both EXK and VXX are performing admirably, oddly enough.  If it wasn’t for LNN, I’d be having a good day. However, it is because of LNN that my day is a loser, all the while my sprinkler heads taunt me with idiocy.

Nevertheless, I am not a buyer of this market yet. Both Spanish and Italian yields dropped, which is good–but not enough.

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46 comments

  1. @crazyfasteddy

    You need a good plumber.. I’m not talking those punk kids doing that ultra modern plastic lego shinola but a full time ass crack hanging out Alberta union plumber to take care of your old shit pipe around there…

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    • The Fly

      I do not need a plumber to screw in a sprinkler head, damn it!

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      • @crazyfasteddy

        No, I’m talking Syncrude-type Bruce Lee action laser water cannon shit–a necessity in any home defense or trailing pond protection– sprinkler heads are included.

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    • The Plumbers Crack
      The Plumbers Crack

      @crazyfasteddy- did you say ass crack?
      Lawn sprinklers are the biggest fucking pain in the ass. At casa del crack, I’m always repairing them.

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    • CalgaryG

      Not so fast, Eddy. To work at Syncrude one must be a bonafide Steamfitter/Pipefitter. No Plumbers allowed.

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      • @crazyfasteddy

        Open call pal.. Bonifide travel card or permit you mean… 488 member, thank you. I know.

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  2. WTF?!

    Fly Is Good.

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  3. Moolahheaven

    Why not give your kid 5$ to water the lawn with the hose each week? To heck with the sprinklers…

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    • The Fly

      The previous owner lost his mind and installed a state of the art system. I’d be remiss not to use it. Plus, a hose will not cover the area.

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  4. dick 'd

    Victory ETA?

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  5. Dog

    I’ve got a good sprinkler system story. We decided to build an addition for the wife’s grandmother. My sprinkler system worked just fine until we started to build. It was a really old system with metal pipe and some PVC that was added later. I repaired what I could then called someone in to help fix. Well, the addition was pretty much done and the sprinkler guy said he had fixed everything so I turned it on. I’m sitting in my house while the thing is going and I smell what could only be well water. Just so happens there was a pipe left in under the addition and the water found its way into the room. Flooded the damn thing.

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  6. DaveyNC

    Last time I had a lawn, I just got one of these: http://www.amazon.com/Nelson-1865-Raintrain-Traveling-Sprinkler/dp/B00002N6AN

    Best solution ever was to not have a lawn any more.

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    • The Fly

      I am obsessive over the grass.

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    • Cascadian

      Grass is about the easiest thing to take care of. Mow it, water it, put on a little weed and feed…. And it looks great.

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      • ottnott

        Mow it often, water it a lot, put on a little weed and feed two weeks after every watering, transform your lawn into a WWI trench warfare landscape as you battle moles and gophers with shovels and bombs….An it looks like the Great War itself.

        Fixed it for you.

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  7. FUCK GOLDMAN SACKS
    FUCK GOLDMAN SACKS

    Make sure your fittings are not reverse thread.. doubt it but I have seen it.

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  8. flicker

    Yet another (have to fuck with) moment of home ownership. Just take comfort in the fact that another house margin call is looming.

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  9. Bullish

    Get yourself a John Deere zero turn mower. Screw paying people to ruin your lawn. Most theraputic thing to do each week is ride that thing around and cut your own grass.

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    • Sur Platonic Platueu Du Tecnocrats, B.R.A., D.J.D. upon Rookness.
      Sur Platonic Platueu Du Tecnocrats, B.R.A., D.J.D. upon Rookness.

      +1

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    • The Eye-Talian Stallion
      The Eye-Talian Stallion

      I use a push mower to show the neighborhood what pussies they are using Guatemalan lawn crews. Working hard is better than working out, and it’s free.

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  10. FUCK GOLDMAN SACKS
    FUCK GOLDMAN SACKS

    Mowing large lawn areas, with a hi quality riding mower of course, in the early evening in summer, lush blue green grass, after a nice bbq, with a Pinot Noir or Syrah, from the Cote D’azure of course, is a beautiful thing. Or you could get a few goats.

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    • Po Pimp

      Cutting grass on a riding lawn mower while sipping wine is very pussified. Hell you probably wear a golf shirt and chinos while you’re at it.

      Man up and use a push mower while throwing back some Natty Light. Shirt is optional as are shoes.

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  11. halfbloodpope

    In late fall Mr. Bob bought a home in southern NJ $BZH community. He asked seller if the sprinkler system was in working order and of course seller said yes. Seller told him he could try them but would have to pay to have them opened and closed again for winter. Mr. Bob figured the house was recently built so decided to save his money.
    Fast forward to spring and Mr. Bob turns on his sprinkler system on only to find a single geyser going off in the center of the lawn.
    Upon tearing up his front lawn/walkway Mr.Bob finds zones of pipe that are complete loops and do not connect to any source of water.

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    • Cascadian

      Didn’t Bob do a home inspection? Don’t close without having that done. The seller wants the money, make him do it.

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    • ottnott

      Heh. Turn the system on, figure out what area the single geyser covers, and tear out the rest of the lawn.

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  12. Patrick Weinstein
    Patrick Weinstein

    Hey Fly! Don’t look now but your genius pick of DMND is down 20% in just 5 days! Only a “fucktard” would have bought that one. Next time, learn to short a company that has their books cooked, genius.

    Holding 225 August $18.00 puts. Bingo 🙂

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  13. The Plumbers Crack
    The Plumbers Crack

    25 years of mowing my fucking lawn and there ani’t no therapy left in it.
    Fuck grass. Its a huge waste of time, energy, water, and the fucking chemicals it takes just so you can keep it green so when the weekend comes around you can slave yourself mowing.
    Fly, get some astro turf and save yourself the trouble and bullshit.

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    • jimmy_two_times
      jimmy_two_times

      Pave it!

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    • The Eye-Talian Stallion
      The Eye-Talian Stallion

      There is a man in my neighborhood that put pea gravel and cactus in his yard, no mowing and he doesn’t have to yell at the kids to get off of the “lawn”.

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  14. JS

    Put Mrs. Fly in charge of the landscape. It’s good for the economy.

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