iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,474 Blog Posts

Indulge Me

Pardon this blog post, as it will contain the harshest of verbiage and depict great acts of physical and mental violence.

The market is cheap because prices are going up. When prices were going down, stocks were expensive. When SHLD was going out of business, one month ago, the stock was expensive. Now that it has doubled in price, it is cheap. Apple is going to double in value because the fucking innovator of the company is dead and he was holding them back all along. Plus, Tim Cook is in possession of ‘Zombie Steve’ and he knows everything Jobs knew.

The fatness of America has no end, as demonstrated by the share price of CMG. And, let’s not forget, America loves a great fucking deal, via PCLN, even though the company specializes in surprise attacks on its users, sending them to “3 star” hotels rendered inhospitable to normal, decent, human beings.

The crack addict analyst at JPM said China is most certainly undergoing a hard landing. Well, that news is good for stocks, and Apple, because it means more free money. Can you imagine all of the fucking opportunities that will arise once Chinese counterfeit yuan hits the world stage?!? For the love of Christ on Xmas, it will be sublime. Those accounting fraud fuckers will be hoarding more oil, gold, copper and rare earths than ever before. Hell, the price of oil will likely hit $400 per barrel– once China starts their own version of QE.

All of this shit, AND MORE, means we have “no choice” but to buy stocks because bonds aren’t any good. We’ve all witnessed how terrible it is to be a Greek debt owner. For all I know, next time, it could be my head in the basket, long treasuries or other such instruments. I’d much rather keep my money parked in consumer sensitive stocks because when all of the QE hits the markets and commodities spike like fuck, we’re all gonna be rich somehow.

Also, please do not forget, this is an election year and stocks can’t trade down during an election year. This is biblical fact. If you ask me why stocks can’t trade down during an election year, I will just dismiss your question and say “they never do,” equal to the yankees making the playoffs on an annual basis.

ISRG will never trade lower again because we’re going to fire all of our domestic surgeons (another plus for the labor market) and have some Indian fuckers “do surgery” from 10,000 miles away, using “the robot arm.” God forbid they have a power outage in Mumbai…

At the end of the day, everything will trade up, with exception to coal and natural gas. I will explain this to you very simply.

Coal is going down because China is crashing, as we mentioned before. With China heading towards a deep depression, steel demand is nil, therefore, eliminating the need for met coal. As a result, coal stocks suck. On top of that, natural gas is sooooo cheap, causing our utilities to cease buying coal in favor for natural gas.

Why isn’t natural gas benefitting from this classic supply and demand divergence?

Well, I will have you know, we have RECORD amounts of natty and it will never trade up because, well, ummm, we keep drilling for it.

You ponder, “how can we keep drilling for something as it declines in value? And if we are still doing it, why?”

Well, to answer that question I will tell you that natural gas is the future and it is as American as apple pie, with a little fracking juice on top. The drillers are finding more natty everyday because it is going to be in all of our trucks soon.

You ponder “if this is the case, why hasn’t the price of natty traded up, even a little? And, when do you think we will have natural gas powered trucks?”

You are one tough interviewer, I must say. From what I gather, if Obama gets elected, then and only then will trucks run on natty. The other fuckers want to drill for oil inside of your reservoirs, pollute the planet and shit.

If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter

55 comments

  1. acehood

    Yeah coal really sucks today, brah.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • The Fly

      Yes of course.

      I remember when AMR traded up after they declared bankruptcy. What a shame the stock went lower after that, as I thought that one day it went up created a new realm for it, some sort of magnificent trend.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  2. discoordinated

    HNR is cheap. dunno about all those others

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  3. @crazyfasteddy

    power outages in Mumbai? OK now you’re just making shit up!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  4. xxxHuggieBearxxx
    xxxHuggieBearxxx

    Awesome article…so much truthiness in it. This market is obviously going a lot higher…i will stick to my earlier call of 1450, just because it is so fucking unbelievable.

    Let me add to your thesis above…treasuries are untouchable now that they have fallen off of the side of a cliff and actually offer more yield.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  5. William The Conqueror
    William The Conqueror

    Steve is obviously still in control at Apple. Who else could name the new iPad…The New iPad?

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • Bobby Boucher

      Steve is like Tupac. He’s dead, but still manages to put new stuff out there.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
      • moolahheaven

        Or biggie. This is Fly at his best; this mkt is full of horse dung. I pray Osama-bama is not re-elected…

        • 0
        • 0
        • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  6. 4fl3x

    Damn Son, most people have to pay big money for all those answers.

    Thanks Master Fly!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  7. Rick

    It does not have to make any sense… just the madness of crowds.

    And when its the madness of institutional investors escaping the sinking $TLT ship – look out, and don’t stand in front of the oncoming truck!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  8. pyromonoxide

    Yes, Tim Cook must have Steve Jobs in zombie form tied up in a shed. They wave products at him and see which ones he reaches for. Maybe feed him a homeless person or an intern now then.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  9. TheArtist

    No one ever gets hurt falling off the first rung of a ladder…so you have to climb way up high, to stupid heights, listening to everyone below saying “don’t go any higher, if you fall you’ll get hurt” and so the stupid fucker keeps climbing, all the way to the very top rung (you know, the one that has a sticker on it…”do not step on this one”) but the dumb fucker does anyway, only to fall off, bouncing down as he lands on piles of rusted re-bar sticking up and concrete blocks until he lands, crashing on his head on the asphalt below, into a bloody piles of mashed up mess, dead the minute the dumb fuck comes to a stop.
    This is the market right now, climbing that ladder, higher and higher, and the higher you climb the far worse the damage when you do fall off. The giddy little schoolgirls on Bloomberg just as wet and as excited as can be…”What problem in Europe” they ask, What problem between Israel and Iran? It’s all gone away…just blue skies, rainbows and butterflies as far as the eye can see don’t you know…buy buy buy stocks…
    carry on.
    Besides, it’s all ball bearings now-a-days.

    carry on.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • Gordy's Corpse

      yeah but not so bad when you put a row of scafolding below you every so often..that is what we have been doing… and by the way Im already dead, so I cant die again….

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  10. TheArtist

    besides, just when a certain sector (coal) is dying, the stock, without anyone looking, rips tits and before anyone realizes, is up 100%…6.30 is the breakout point for JRCC.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  11. ruggyup

    Yeah right, Obama will fix all energy imbalances and we will be fucking algaefied and look like green Martians. But WTF we’ll be happy as a pig in a Louisiana hot sauce corral because uncle Obalgae has our 6.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  12. Caffeinated

    Move over Mary Magdalene, I believe archeologists have just discovered the gospels of St. Fly.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  13. The_Real_Hmmm

    Don’t forget we’re all going to get new houses too from the fine laborers, materials suppliers, and home builders at KBH, TOL, MAS, USG, etc.

    BONUS: Thanks to Obama, your house will be free due to zero interest rates and the fact that if you can’t afford the principal payments, BAC will forgive you.

    DOUBLE BONUS: You will not have to pay for utilities either because they have so much natural gas they can afford to pay you to take it off their hands.

    TRIPLE BONUS: Obama and Michelle do not see ear to ear as they have different views on how to structure their 2012 campaign slogan: “Wealth before health.”

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • Blind Read Ant

      I am curious if a base has been carved into home builders.

      My realty interests may be too premature.

      But capitaly accounts permit.

      A vote from the real Hymn is persuasive for a move.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  14. drummerboy

    so when does appl do a split ? i’d pay money just to see the look on some fund managers’ face,and cramer runnin around the set of cnbc acting all crazy and shit.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  15. mike

    Steve Job’s latest invention was an artificial intelligence, human brain enhancer hybrid. They preserved the brain of steve jobs and spinal cord and put it in an Ibot, and they are keeping it a secret but secretly they still have Steve Jobs running the company and his super robot roams around and can fly across the world and hear whatever any company is saying and process everything at once simultaneously. Sort of like Fly’s calculator brain.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  16. HalfBloodPope

    0bama can’t lose.

    Any question directed at him during upcoming presidential debates will be dismissed as he will look over at Bernanke and receive a head nod or shake, much like in the movie ‘Moneyball’.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • drummerboy

      not if mitt picks rand paul as his vp.just the twist that might be needed to kill karl marx jr. and his money thief wife on vacations.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  17. wilms

    There will be Unicorns at some point as well. Best believe that.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  18. Anton

    Thank you for the best of all possible explanations, Dr. Pangloss.

    Apropo of nothing, this should put everything into perspective: http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap120312.html

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • Heaterman

      Certainly does. We but a speck of nothing in the grand scheme of things.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  19. Patrick

    Prosperity 4ever.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  20. Yabollox

    Tim cook looks like Steve Jobs too.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  21. Bullish

    God Bless America!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  22. fifty2weekhi

    With respect to election year: why can’t the GOP do something about it?!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • riggedgame

      They are trying, jacking up gasoline by exporting it and closing refineries, exporting record amounts of oil and stopping every jobs bill Dems try to advance.

      But it AIN’T WORKING because they have Four Stooges as candidates and because Obama- Bernanke have stocks soaring.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
      • MCPJ

        The GOP is exporting gasoline? The US doesn’t export oil, it exports fuel and most of that is diesel.

        You’re an uninformed and ignorant idiot.

        • 0
        • 0
        • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
        • riggedgame

          You clueless moron. Refrain from commenting to someone 10X as smart as you until you brush up on your FACTS.

          http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439×1058379

          http://www.webstatschecker.com/stats/keyword/us_oil_exports

          • 0
          • 0
          • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
          • harhar

            so you link to a search engine stat checker and a forum post regarding George Bush? that’s the best you got? A game, remember?

            • 0
            • 0
            • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
          • Po Pimp

            Read up:

            http://www.theoildrum.com/node/8981

            • 0
            • 0
            • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
          • Po Pimp

            The heart of the matter:

            According to the Energy Information Administration, the U.S. currently produces 5.7 million barrels of crude oil per day, imports 9 million barrels of crude oil per day, and exports 50,000 barrels per day (less than 1% of our crude oil production). The fact that we import 9 million barrels of oil per day demonstrates that we do not have “plenty of oil and gas in the U.S.A.” Where does the less than 1% of crude that is exported go? To Canada. And by the way, we import 2.3 million barrels of oil per day from Canada. But why do we export any oil at all? Oil that is exported to Canada is most likely produced in fields that have easier access to Canadian refineries than to U.S. refineries. Clearly, since we import over 50 times as much oil from Canada as we export to them, we aren’t doing it because they need the oil worse than the U.S. does.

            • 0
            • 0
            • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  23. HopeandChange

    Obama has had 3+ fucking years to do something with natty in trucks. He is clueless. He wants us to be re-elected in order to outlaw combustable engines and transport our fat asses in gleaming buses adorned with wind turbines and solar panels and sporting flags with his likeness. Hope and Change Baby! Hope and Change.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  24. Trading_Nymph

    China says fuck you QE/Stimulus, it makes our FDI go down and Pork Prices go up. We say, screw you house buyer at top of the market..screw you rest of the world..we are going to have a hard time but emerge all the better for it. Translation..the people that are in power really only stay that way until Oct (official next year), they are not going to do anything that can mess up their lame duck session.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  25. rru2s

    Fly, you cheated on your backtesting homework there, buddy. Somehow the election year “2008” sends shivers down my spine every time I think about the memories of Lehman Bros., Bear Sterns, and the Dow…

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  26. Colonel von Ryan
    Colonel von Ryan

    Ask any automotive engineer and he will scoff if you mention net gas, ethanol and bio fuel in the same sentence with gasoline.

    The amount of energy in gasoline exceeds ethanol by 25% and nat gas by even more. So are you telling me that you want to buy a $5000 nozzle and take a Fed safety training course so that you can fill up with Nat Gas at home? Or worse, have to fill up twice a week while waiting on Gomer Pyle to acknowledge your presence at the station while he’s putting on his gloves, steel toed boots and Saf-T- Glasses…

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • Highsurf

      So burn natty in the generators and we’ll all drive on cheap electricity. $TSLA

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  27. PMed

    Gold and silver are going down because central bankers understand the lack of value and want to hold these lacking investment products to protect consumer confidence.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  28. 'merica

    If only we could somehow turn shit into fuel for our Excusrsions and Escalades. Think about it, Obama could supply all of the World’s energy needs!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  29. SAC Monkey

    Fly, why do you allow so many loser to comment here?

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  30. mancini

    My coal / rail stock put a new motorcycle in the driveway today. But I am going to take devil dogs advice from 2008 and ease up a little.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • where the devil is he?
      where the devil is he?

      what happened to him?

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
      • dave

        He probably went broke because he couldn’t fathom the measures the Fed would use to prop up this sham of an economy.

        QE = must stay invested

        Fuckers

        • 0
        • 0
        • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  31. JTU

    It turns out that ALJ is not a dog, it was up 4.4% today.
    I sold my VXX yesterday and it seems that it was a good call for now.
    With my proceeds from VXX I added to CLF and it continued it’s upward trend up another 3.6% today.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  32. Sir Jack Wadds

    You Sir are reading waaaaaaay tooooo much THALER and not listening to the tape..

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  33. pitbull

    the gospels of St. Fly. “faith comes thru listining and listening to the work of Saint Fly!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"