A Final Last Word on #OWS. I Swear and Promise on a Stack of Bibles

You all know how religious I am.

Instead of doing the grunt work myself, I implore you to read the entirety of this Encyclopedia Dramatica post. Pure gold.

Excerpt:

remove your worthless ($7 DD) account -> bank loses no revenue -> bank no longer needs the support staff to deal with your shit -> bank fires the least educated employees -> banks profitability & margins rise.

See, these protesters are simply trying to make banks healthier.

UPDATE: Due to the fucking spastically retarded nature of this blog, I am no longer able to hyperlink to other blogs or sites. As a matter of fact, this blog is a ghetto dump and I am unable to do a lot of things, like embed media and/or properly indent in a post. Just like America, iBankCoin’s finest days are behind her, as neglect and malfeasance infects the attitudes of her caretakers, rendering the site 2nd tier, regrettably.

Here is the url to the site I am trying to link.
http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/Occupy_Wall_Street

FUCKING PATHETIC.

If you are an idiot, you might love this movie. Whoever made this movie missed out on a huge opportunity at greatness in favor of dumbing down the story to relate to people with IQ’s less than 90.

The movie is redundant, with constant “OMG” moments. They paint the bosses of the investment bank as fucking morons–who know nothing about MBS. It’s unrealistic and ridiculous. Towards the end of the movie, they obsess on compensation, as if the writer just wanted to twist the knife into the watching audience. One of the junior pikers is appalled that his boss made $2.5 million the year prior–again, totally unrealistic.

Out of a possible 10 thumbs, I give it a 6. It’s too bad Hollywood is unable to make quality Wall Street films. It seems they are only able to make shit about fucked up villains and/or cold callers ripping off idiots from the midwest with penny stock scams. Fuck Hollywood and their brush.

This is a blessing for me, as it prevents me from having to sit in a movie theatre of squalor, amongst filthy upright standing pigs.

Margin Call, due to lack of distribution has been made available via iTunes. Even better, the cost to rent the movie is less than going to the theatre itself.

You’re welcome.

http://itunes.apple.com/us/movie/margin-call/id472616473

I haven’t made a single trade today. My positioning is just fine, despite my 20% allocation into TLT yesterday.  My losses are very mild and I do intend to make them back soon. It’s a slow Friday afternoon, ahead of the apocalypse. Europe doesn’t have shit going on. LIBOR is rising on a daily basis, as well as Italian, Spanish and Portuguese 10 yr yields. They are bluffing and you will learn these lessons soon enough.

The ceiling for the month of October has been reached. We trade lower from here, then spike in November. That’s the way this is going to play out, whether you like it or not.

“The Fly” has managed to freeze himself in time, pinning his 16% gains to the wall, regardless of the tape. My research in the food and beverage industry will be completed this weekend, giving me names to buy into weakness.  I am pleased that you made money in this tape, even if it was the result of blind bullishness. Optimism is not something to besmirch. The world needs more people like you, in order to build funhouses and clown cannons.

My life is designed around the idea of destruction. Even when building up iBankCoin’s traffic on a monthly basis, spreading the word for almost 4 years (our anniversary is coming soon), I am obliterating numerous 3rd tier sites without regard for human life.

I have laser beams, orbital space cannons and Saddam era SCUD missiles domiciled in my Brooklyn silo. Do you really think I give a fuck about a little 175 point melt up, whilst largely in cash and/or hedged?

Have a good weekend.

UPDATE: I sold short EXH

I don’t go to the movies often, aside from mandatory children films. But I will be seeing Margin Call.

Trailer
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2DqFRsPrns 603 500]

Review
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39eIvH_Arto 603 500]

Rotten Tomatoes 84%

Most of you will not be offered an allocation in Groupon because you keep accounts at Zeeco and are literally nobody on Wall Street. However, there is a conduit to get in on all of these hot privately held names, even before the ipo fuckers get an allocation. The solution to your piker problems lies in the shares of GSVC.

Per GSVC’s 10q:

GSV Capital’s current portfolio provides exposure to investments in venture capital backed private companies including Bloom Energy Corporation, Chegg, Inc., Facebook, Inc., Gilt Groupe, Inc., Groupon, Inc., Kno, Inc., Serious Energy, Inc., SharesPost, Inc., Silver Spring Networks, Inc., TrueCar, Inc., Twitter, Inc., ZoomSystems and Zynga, Inc.

Since then, the company raised another $30 million and is in a position of strength to make additional investments. My best hunch, they take a piece of Yelp next.

Bottom line: the stock price of GSVC trades like shit, with low volume and little momentum. However, if the ipo market opens up to the likes of Facebook, Twitter, Zynga and Gilt, that is going to change quickly.

I’ve concluded my study on the psyche of the Occupy Wall Street mob and have decided that they are, indeed, mentally disabled. There are very sick men and women over there, who pose a real danger to themselves and the people around them.

Bear with me.

You might support their message. As a matter of fact, I support a lot of what they are chanting about, sans the class warfare, burn rich people’s faces off, type of rhetoric. My main beef, mind you, is the very fact that these dirtbags (yes, that is what they are, literally) live in the streets. As you know, “The Fly” is not a fan of the homeless man– and supports using said men in early FDA trials for the benefit of BIG PHARMA. Instead of going home at night, bathing, laughing it up while watching horror movies on teevees, these maniacs sleep on concrete slabs, hold “council meetings”, play drums 24 hours per day, defecate in the streets and fornicate out in the open with one another–or sometimes by themselves. There is a collective insanity taking place there, supported by a lot of Wall Street people, ironically, from the luxury of their warm beds.

There is a Jim Jones, cyanide koolaid, aspect to this movement. There is no fucking reason to live in Zuccotti park, amongst dog shit and birds. Why can’t they go home and come back on the weekends to throw “petrol bombs” at one another, like normal anarchists? Instead, they are ignoring all of the tenets of modern hygiene. Modern hygiene aka bathing daily, is the litmus test for mental health. Don’t compare these fruity screwballs to soldiers. They aren’t starving or being suppressed. Nonetheless, they choose to live like vagrants, shitting in water fountains and eating hotdogs for breakfast, egged on by rich people in Mcmansions.

Going into the colder months in NYC, if you care about the health of these people, asshole, discourage them from living in a park, in favor of weekend “revolutions” and weekday showers.

Scientific fact #1: 99% of all known communists are avid coffee drinkers. Back in the good old days, Stalin would execute rich folks while sipping on a cup of joe. Truer words have never been told. As a matter of fact, a staggering 100% of all Occupy Wall Street protesters are in fact prolific java juicers.

Scientific fact #2: 99% of all serial killers are in fact coffee lovers. Exhibit A, Exhibit B. If you are a parent of a young child be sure to raise him or her correctly by encouraging tea consumption over “the black death.” Should you fail to do your duties as a parent, there is strong chance your child will grow up and slay you while you sleep.

Scientific #3: Coffee drinkers are accounting cheats. Look at GMCR, Enron, Calpine and Bernie Maddoff: all coffee drinkers.

Look, we can debate this for hours, if not days. Just know this, when I used to drink 5-20 cups of coffee per day, I’d slap people in the face, unprovoked, with hot slices of pizza. I’d also kick old men in wheeled chairs down subway steps, whenever the chance presented itself. Ever since I’ve reestablished myself as a gentleman amongst the Tea drinkers of Great Britain (TdoGB), I’ve been well mannered and cordial. Look at Scott Bleier, Jakegint and Woodshedder: fucking cavemen and coffee drinkers.

In closing, try to avoid being an uncouth, degenerate miscreant by drinking the evil bean and take up the avocation of proper and honourable tea consumption, preferably of the black variety or mate.

WARNING: This video is a horror show.

Evil doers.

Miraculously, the market has just erased all of its losses, more than 100 Dow points, in less than 30 minutes. Why? Well, there was a rumor of a rumor that Germany wants not one but two conferences next week. Clearly, this means something substantial will happen.

This is the height of idiocy. Forget about my biases for a moment. Trading this market is too hard, unless you are trading on a 2 minute time frame.

Having said that, I am allocating 20% of assets into TLT, in order to park cash. As you see, I am not adding to shorts or longs. My beta is very low and I am happy. After this European crap-show is finished, I will begin allocating assets on the long side, in select names in the food and beverage sector.

The trannies are doing well and tech sucks. You’re better off throwing darts at a board, in favor of doing hard analysis in these convoluted sectors. I’m not lured any longer by big returns and promises of decadence. The new Fly is all about watching Iron Chef and partaking in retail channel checks to see how milk sales are doing in the midwest.

10 yr yields are now at 6%. Italy’s debt to GDP ratio is at least 125%, making them the third most indebted nation in the world. France has the most exposure to Italian debt, with more than 500 billion euros in worthless meatballs on their cheesy balance sheets (I know, that was good). The German’s are not stupid and know this is a fight for survival, literally.

If Italy goes, which it is as represented by 6% 10 yr yields, Spain is next. Listen to me ever so quietly, Germany is not going to backstop 3 trillion euros in Spanish and Italian debt. It is simply too big to save. There will have to be restructuring and the banks will likely trade to $00.00, all of them.

Naturally, before that happens, do-gooders will continue fighting the good fight, telling you that “everything is okay” and “this is manageable.” But they are speaking with forked tongues and fool no one but the weak minded simpleton.

All that aside, I am continuing to do research on my new food and beverage thesis. I am sick and tired of trying to catch the beta waves of stocks like CLF and DECK. It’s a suckers game. There is a whole segment of the market that is rising in a quiet, yet predictable fashion. I am interested in good free cash flow and decent growth.

The PIGS may fall; but people still need to eat and drink. Cliches are for corn can fucking asshats. However, in this case, I am only interested in protection of principal; therefore, I can say whatever the fuck I want to say, AND MORE.

UPDATE: I am allocating 20% of assets in TLT.