iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,443 Blog Posts

Bank Execs and Boat Drinks

 

Reformed Broker has a well spirited attack on the banks.

Personally, I like banks, but harbor great disdain for people who work there, specifically janitors and tellers. Generally speaking, banks are cool. I get to stash all of my money there, use their facilities to feel all important and shit. I even borrow money from them to lever up my balance sheet and buy properties. Sometimes when I get bored I open accounts at different banks, just to see how advanced their ATM machines are.

At times, banks piss me the fuck off, like when they close early on Sundays. Fuck that– bible humpers. I am busy and need your tellers to stay there 24/7, like ghetto check cashing establishments. Also, I get annoyed when their ATM’s run out of cash, like WTF? You’re a bank; you should have money forever.

Some really poor people complain to me about credit card interest rates. I have no real opinions on that, other than the obvious: duh, stop borrowing money. Other people tell me “the banks aren’t lending.” To them I say “maybe they are busy putting all of the money into their fucking ATM machines.”

Lastly, a bunch of people complain about bank executives making a “fuck load of money.” But the bank execs aren’t “the perfect meatloaf” type of guys. They have castles to maintain and harems to update. Their plummeting stock prices is punishment enough.Geez, give a player a break. Handing out large bonuses is the only way to make the bank execs feel better about themselves. A Pimp has to eat too. The world is so depressed right now. We should be happy for the bank execs, as they celebrate their unparalleled success over boat drinks served in diamond chalices.

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91 comments

  1. ctb007

    Yeah and fuck those wank jobs at the wall street protests too!

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  2. Dubz

    It’s been a few years but not much as changed, time to put orders for $BAC at $2 – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PK9-uIQyk0

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  3. ALLPROz

    Banks are your friend…

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  4. Tisker

    The banks, in general should, generally, get a clue. First of all we give them our money in return they get to re lend or invest it or what have you as long as they give it back when I want it. I would love to have a business like that. I could make a mint off that shit. Now they want us to pay for the privlidge FUCK THAT while they can thousands and give mega bonuses to departing cronies.

    I think the biggest wave of account closings ever has begun… There are better options out there .. my bank still has no fees for regular stuff, a competitive return (not like I keep a lot of cash there but still), free checks, free bill pay, and they refund all ATM fees…

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    • ForexPhucker

      Banks don’t lend your money. They lend the Fed’s money. If a bank is lending your money, I suggest you go to a different bank.

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  5. Wall Street Protester
    Wall Street Protester

    Can’t you see the corporations are trying to take over the world for the man, you toolz

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    • ALLPROz

      I choose corporations taking over rather than big Govt. Capitalism leads to progress and government regulation hinders profits for all.

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    • Don

      ‘Wall Street Protester’ Go back to defecating on cop cars and being pepper spray targets for the NYPD.

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      • Wall Street Protester
        Wall Street Protester

        Man your so brainwashed you probs think osama did 9/11,the new world order & the corporations created 9/11 to bonkraupt the world to make money for themselves and take surperoir power over use

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        • Mad_Scientist

          Oh, so they tricked the Muslims into doing it? Just how stupid are you people?

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        • JAY-Z

          Lol they invented the month of September too?
          Yeah, there are a select few assholes that choose to take advantage of a bad situation, such as Michael chertoff and his full body groping TSA and scanners. But it’s never been an “us vs them” it’s always you vs yourself. It’s a hell of a lot eaiser to change yourself than change anyone else.

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  6. jeremy

    funny funny funny

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  7. TraderCaddy

    I have an idea for a sign on your office door Fly (or print it on your checks when you reorder-assuming you use checks still).
    In response to the Marxist 0bama demonstrators the traders at the Chicago Board of Trade hung this up on their windows.

    http://chicagoist.com/2011/10/05/board_of_trade_has_a_message_for_oc.php

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  8. Mad_Scientist

    Why don’t these occupy wall street herbs just become bankers if it’s so profitable and wonderful? Don’t want to apply themselves?

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  9. Mad_Scientist

    Also, in every field the execs get huge bonuses. Why is banking singled out? Take a look at the insider stock sales at clothing companies, pharmaceutical companies, energy companies, etc, these people are making millions just from the stock awards! So why attack the banks? While you are at it attack all business and the entire economy and capitalism itself. Oh, that’s what the protesters are doing. Morons.

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    • ALLPROz

      I miss the day when it was Occupy the Forest…same loons hugging trees now in the big city as the bears have chased them from the forest.

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    • Scott Bleier

      ever notice that privately held companies rarely payout huge money? Only public companies do because they have a “free” currency, equity.

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      • Yogi & Boo Boo

        Indeud.

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      • Yabollox

        They’ve got compensations committees to circumvent active boards of directors who might represent shareholders interests.

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      • Mad_Scientist

        Not sure I understand. All companies should stay or go private to be fair?

        Also, the following from the article: “It’s not that this isn’t your prerogative as a private company – it is. But seriously…”

        Are they public or private?

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      • JakeGint

        Goldman paid more when they were private, Scott.

        _______

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    • Great Unwashed

      The only objections to bonuses I’ve heard of have been aimed at banks that were bailed out with public money, and rightly so.

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      • Yabollox

        Yes, how much did Chuck Prince walk away with?

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      • Mad_Scientist

        If you take a poll of 100 of the “occupy wallstreet” crowd, probably 95-99 will have no idea what you are talking about and are against the bonuses because they are too much money and “we don’t make enough so it’s unfair.” They have brought an uninformed marxist animus out of the woodworks and deep recessions of the uninformed souls with this “movement.”

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        • Mad_Scientist

          Oh, and because “it’s corporate greed.”

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        • Yogi & Boo Boo

          I think it’s becoming clear that the protests main thrust is against corporate socialism. This is the same anger that powers many in the Tea Party. The idea that corporate losses are socialized and borne by the American public, while corporate profits accrue to the benefit of those who took the risks that brought the economic system to the brink of disaster.

          It’s not any more complicated than that. I’m only surprised that it took this long for it show up.

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          • Mad_Scientist

            I haven’t seen any evidence of this at all. The protest looks to me like it’s against some amorphous concept of “corporate greed” and it’s because “they” make too much money but they are causing “our” problems.

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          • Yogi & Boo Boo

            @MS You could be right, but I think for the most part, that’s not enough for you to take to the street. It’s only when the anger gets to a certain level that this stuff happens. Some of the interviews I saw were elderly folks. If you told me the interview was from a year ago at a Tea Party rally, I wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference.

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          • The know not what they are doing
            The know not what they are doing

            I agree. It is human nature when someone falls on hard times to be envious and bitter of others who are doing well. It is pretty clear that they don’t know what they are really fighting for but dangerous if they find radical leadership.

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          • Frog Playing a Colorful Accordion
            Frog Playing a Colorful Accordion

            When they have not “fallen” on hard times but been pushed into hard times by reckless bankers who pushed us into this 2nd Great Depression with incredibly high unemployment, and then we bailed them out with our tax money– and then they took it and gave themselves multi-million dollar bonuses– it’s not envy. It’s righteous indignation.

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          • They know not what they are doing
            They know not what they are doing

            Correct me if I’m wrong but haven’t some of the financial institutions already paid that tax money back? If that is the case, then who can tell them whether they can give a bonus or not? For that matter, how can one blame the companies that still have not paid the tax money back for still trying to be competitive using bonuses. For the record, I’m not a financial professional and have never seen bonus money like that. I believe many on this site are or have been financial professionals and have been compensated handsomely for there work in the past. These occupy wall street folks are not all marching because the tax money was used for bonuses. Many don’t believe a human is worth that kind of money regardless of their profession and regardless of when they “earned” it. I’m a firm believer that you should be compensated well commensurate with the work you do or revenue generated. I also believe that if you have done wrong then you need to be punished. These folks are protesting because they want the system to change but I think they need to be careful for what they wish for. We need to be careful that we do not move too far down that socialistic road.

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  10. Don

    This post is even funnier if read in an Andy Rooney voice.

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  11. Mark

    “and need your tellers to stay there 24/7, like ghetto check cashing establishments”

    Thanks, Fly. Now I’m cleaning up the coffee that spit out of my mouth when I read that!

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  12. ruggyup

    Banks are money harvesters. Bank executives and boards of directors are whores. Very, very whores. But a rich whore is still a whore. That boys and girls is the true gen.

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  13. TraderCaddy

    This is a hilarious video from the 0bama supported 0ccupy Atlanta crowd.
    I remember the Jim Jones cult and his Kool Aid drinkers and this is it.

    http://youtu.be/3QZlp3eGMNI

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  14. Atlas Vicious

    Druish?

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  15. Spooky

    A pimp has to eat, but if he/she chooses poor quality product that makes the whole country sick, I shouldn’t have to keep the pimp in pimp clothes with tax dollars. Moreover, he should have to pay the medical fees of all the people he gave VD to…

    Pimps serve a purpose, but when 40% of GDP begins to go to them, even when they’re clearly wrecking the world, we’ve got problems!

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  16. Spooky

    I will add this little nugget, from a Bloomberg piece:

    “In Florida this week, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney was asked about the growing Occupy Wall Street movement. “I think it’s dangerous, this class warfare,” he said.”

    What a wanker Mitt is. Well, which one is it? The survival of the fittest? Warfare, and winner takes all? Or no class warfare. You can’t have it both ways. So warfare is good when the rich get to blow you out of your home one at a time, but god forbid you congregate and actually start to fight back. Then it’s warfare.

    My livelihood and existence depend a great deal, let us say, on the “luxury trade.” My interests are not with the middle class. But I fucking hate this kind of hypocrisy.

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    • The Fly

      Excuse me but how do “the rich” blow you out of your home? Last I checked people can’t afford to live in those fucking homes. Go rent.

      Since when is everyone entitled to 4,000 sq ft?

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      • Frog Playing a Colorful Accordion
        Frog Playing a Colorful Accordion

        You are right that everyone is not entitled to 4000 square feet– any more than big bankers are entitled to multi-million dollar bonuses on the backs of the taxpayers who bailed their banks out.

        Welfare for the voluntarily non-working people, or people trying to live beyond their means is not good and should stop. But most of the welfare that taxpayers pay for it corporate welfare. And that should stop too.

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        • JAY-Z

          Over 50% of the country doesn’t pay taxes homie. Our debt is paid for through inflation, and 40% of it is exported thanks to the dollar being the reserve currency. So thank a foreigner and take a deep breath and enjoy having a lifestyle better than any king would have in midevil times. You think he could go to Wendys and have a chicken sandwhich made in 30 seconds for $1? Do you think he even had access to a toilet? Change your perspective and enjoy what you got.

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          • Frog Playing a Colorful Accordion
            Frog Playing a Colorful Accordion

            That’s one of those John Bircher beliefs– about 50% paying no taxes. Below is the actual situation: The folks in the lowest quintile actually pay a higher percentage of their income in taxes than the rich folks in the highest quintile pay.

            http://www.factcheck.org/2008/11/americans-paying-no-taxes/

            “According to the Urban-Brookings Tax Policy Center, it is true that 38 percent of “tax units” — which can be singles, couples, or families — are projected to have zero or negative income tax liability in 2009. About 60 percent of these households make $20,000 per year or less.”

            “However, being exempt from income tax does not mean you’re exempt from federal taxes. Everyone who works is liable for payroll taxes, contributions to Medicare and Social Security that come out of every paycheck. There are also excise taxes on some goods and services, most notably the 18.4 cents per gallon tax on gasoline. The Congressional Budget Office found that earners in the lowest quintile, where most of those with no income tax liability fall, shouldered 4.3 percent of the payroll tax burden in 2005 and 11.1 percent of the excise taxes. Their effective tax rate (which is calculated by dividing taxes paid by total income) in those categories, according to the CBO, was in fact significantly higher than the rate of the top quintile”

            And even if the John Bircher version of who pays how much in taxes were true, that still doesn’t justify using taxpayer money to bailing out rich bankers.

            I do “enjoy what I’ve got.” And as a a middle class taxpayer I know I would have more to enjoy if the big banks who own Congress weren’t robbing us all blind.

            Look at the reformed broker article that Fly cites above. Here it is again. This guy knows the score.

            This is Why They Hate You (big banks) and Want You to Die

            http://www.thereformedbroker.com/

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      • Spooky

        I meant that figuratively–as in taken out one-by-one. Sorry to mix metaphors. No, the 4000 sq ft homes are obscene.

        I just fucking hate the way the Repubs are crying class warfare when they’re the one’s waging it for 25 years. We all know the numbers on the income gap and stagnation of incomes. We all know how screwed the middle-class is, and how the banks keep siphoning off productive labor.

        A good capitalist, here, at this point in US history, simply cannot be a republican. They are trying to turn this country into Argentina, and there’s nothing more odious and vile than the argentinian upper-class.

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    • Yabollox

      The amazing thing is how similar the Occupy Wall St. people are to the Tea Party. In both cases it’s people thinking they are getting fucked by the system, a system they misunderstand.

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  17. Ivan

    Sir, you need to apologize to your readers and me personally for wasting few minutes of our lives reading this nonsense – what a dumb rant!
    Stick to what you’re better – the market

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    • madrid

      Ivan, you need to apologize to ME for wasting MY time having to read your stupid comment.

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    • Yabollox

      Oh whatever. The market does not exist in a vacuum.

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  18. Cascadian

    Yes!

    Seattle intercepts!

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  19. Frog Playing a Colorful Accordion
    Frog Playing a Colorful Accordion

    This guy writes the most coherent pro-OWS article I have found here. I have posted a quote below, but the whole thing is well worth reading.

    http://wallstreetexaminer.com/2011/10/09/i-stand-with-the-protesters/

    “The student loans are the tip of the iceberg. Bankers have made and sold trillions of dollars worth of loans that they knew, or should have known, could not be repaid. That’s fraud. It must be prosecuted. Today, central bankers and governments are refunding those loans, knowing that a substantial portion of them cannot be repaid. Worse, they are buying them above par because of today’s fake low interest rates. Then they guarantee them by obligating us and future generations to repay them. This is criminal.”

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    • ?

      Agreed. The Big Short was an eye opener. We had near to 10k in the streets in Portland. Lots of grey hairs properly dressed.

      Perp walks are called for but most likely won’t happen.
      This is just getting started.
      We will see.

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  20. Blind Read Ant

    “[C]astles to maintain and harems to update.”

    Yes.

    Usu. castles with at least one lap lane pool, remote study-den, a secret chamber and / or passage way, secluded round-a-bout for guests plus enema toilettes.

    In re Harem: it must be done with classical taste, outter-peristyle vogue: http://www.google.com/imgres?q=Outer+Peristyle,+The+J.+Paul+Getty+Museum+at+the+Getty+Villa&hl=en&sa=X&biw=1440&bih=785&tbm=isch&prmd=imvns&tbnid=wftIJKBu96PfEM:&imgrefurl=http://members.virtualtourist.com/m/736c8/b80ff/&docid=JGRi44PLX9WbmM&w=644&h=483&ei=LAySToT9JKLiiALOis3NCA&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=1140&vpy=445&dur=625&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=217&ty=115&page=1&tbnh=144&tbnw=207&start=0&ndsp=28&ved=1t:429,r:20,s:0

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  21. mickeyp

    Fly you need to add this video… goes well with latest post

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTTUKejngiw&feature=related

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  22. Dr Fly

    For those who think I only blog about the market: fuck off. That gets boring and I have shit to say.

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  23. Trading_Nymph

    One reason why I am in my fazmobile and refuse to get out is that USA Form FFIEC 009 is one stupid form, probably created by the Countrywide Employees that got a job with Govt. We are so fucked but no one cares.

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  24. The Fly

    Well, I am looking for a pullback Nymph

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    • ruggyup

      Maybe so, but, over 47.5 still looking to be “so fucked”. Be alert, it’ll happen with the harsh environment deep sea drillers. Not tomorrow but…………………………

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  25. Hermes

    Nationalize the fucking banks. Why should there be a middleman between me and the Federal Reserve?

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    • Frog Playing a Colorful Accordion
      Frog Playing a Colorful Accordion

      Because the banks only want us taxpayers to pay for all their losses. They want to keep all their profits for themselves, after having been bailed out. And they own Congress so they can make it so.

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      • ruggyup

        There you go medflys, nationalize everything in the country and on earth, banks, hospitals, churches, grocery stores, public toilets, whores on the streets and in corporate board rooms, blog editors, hospice, disaster shelters, everything you can think of with that fucking rotted muskmelon sitting on your bull necks.

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        • Hermes

          Nationalization seems to have worked out pretty well for the military. Just ask the fuckers dealing with the business-end of a UAV. Dispensing cash is not rocket science. Disintermediation works.

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          • JakeGint

            The Army was never private, Private Numbnutz.

            When did this site begin attracting all these damn radical Fabian types?

            _________

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          • Hermes

            If a government ownership is good enough for the fucking military it is good enough for the fucking banks you stupid fuck.

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  26. Bullish

    Oh baby, the market is going to rip quite a few new assholes this week. Shorts are set to fry.

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  27. South of the Mason Dixon
    South of the Mason Dixon

    Why is it necessary to attack Christians? “Bible humpers?” Why do you, and others, have to demean those that believe in Christ? At the risk of being “banned” I feel like I need to stand in front of one more, if not subtle, persecution of Christianity. It is getting more common across all levels of media.

    The culture in this country is getting more caustic each day. It’s why I turn to my church, and history, for the guidance against a rapidly decaying world.

    The more my beliefs, religious, political and economics, are attacked, the more I know I am on the correct path.

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    • Passinggas17

      He does this because all of the “cool kid” liberals like Michael Moore and Bill Maher do it.

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    • Hermes

      This is the one of the most profane blogs on the Internet. You may want to exit quickly. I am never one to defend The Fly but I don’t think he is anti-Christian or that he really cares that banks are closed on Sunday. I on the other hand am outrage that I must wait on the curb until the beer store opens at noon on Sunday so that I can spend my hard-earned change.

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      • South of the Mason Dixon
        South of the Mason Dixon

        Nah, it’s entertainment. I get it. I’m just not going to let sacrilegious ranker against Christianity pass anymore without speaking up. It will mostly be dismissed but it will matter to me.

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    • The Fly

      I was raised Catholic and have studied the bible well enough to know it is a fraud. At the risk of alienating 70% of you out there, I emphatically believe God is a figment of your imagination.

      If it makes you feel better, I will hedge my Godless tirade with Obama is the Devil.

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      • South of the Mason Dixon
        South of the Mason Dixon

        I understand completely where you are coming from. I was raised Catholic, in the South no less!

        I studied Geology at the University. You want to destroy 18 years of belief in God, let liberal professors teach you evolution in paleo classes for a few years.

        I decided there was no God too…but only because I got lazy. It’s easy not to believe. To believe it’s a fairy tale. Faith is hard. It is a difficult struggle to be a believer. But ultimately I am much happier believing in something.

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  28. Frog Playing a Colorful Accordion
    Frog Playing a Colorful Accordion

    You must really be looking hard for evidence of persecution for your beliefs, just to convince yourself you are right. I don’t even see anywhere in this thread where someone said “Bible Thumpers.”

    Anyway, so persecution proves you are right? Well a lot of religions and other groups who are or feel persected are contradictory. So how can they all be right, just because they feel persectued?

    Religion is a matter of faith. But as for politics, how about thinking you are right because you are in contact with reality? Rather than thiking you are right just because you feel persectued. Seems like everybody feels persectued nowadays. And perhaps for good reason, as the insults are flung around.

    That’s the thing about politics. People insult each other a lot. And they feel persectued, and persecute others back. And, as Gandhi said “An eye for an eye ends up making the whole world blind.” The Old Testament did say “an eye for an eye.” But somehow I don’t think that is what Christ had in mind.

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    • South of the Mason Dixon
      South of the Mason Dixon

      “Bible Humpers”

      From Fly’s original missive.

      I never said I was right. I said I feel that I am on the correct path for my life.

      I feel the Christian faith is attacked across media. It is a persecution of one’s beliefs.

      Just because everyone persecutes doesn’t make it right. Same with insults. The web is a vitriolic chasm of insults and persecution of politics, economics and religion. It’s pathetic.

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      • The Fly

        South of Dixon

        For the record, I loathe people who try to take down Xmas trees and get in the way of another trying to practice his religion. I just mock it because I think it’s silly.

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  29. Frog Playing a Colorful Accordion
    Frog Playing a Colorful Accordion

    Oh, I see, Fly said Bible humpers up there in his post.

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  30. Frog Playing a Colorful Accordion
    Frog Playing a Colorful Accordion

    If Fly is a liberal, I am a monkey’s uncle. And how could a Frog Playing a Colorful Accordion be related to a monkey? Not possible.

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  31. ruggyup

    As long as youse peoples mention “what Christ had in mind”, I don’t think He had yet factored in Darwin’s ideas about monkeys and their progeny and illegitimate families.

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  32. ruggyup

    Hard to conceive how bitched out life would be without videos to direct our thinking. Get a thinking life, medflys.

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