iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,417 Blog Posts

XXX FREE BLOGGING LESSONS XXX

Fuck you. I am not giving you shit.

Instead, I will offer you a question. The rest you can figure out for yourselves.

There are two newspaper stands, both on the same block. One guy sells “UPDATED NEWS, Live and Real Time.” The other guy sells “CLASSIC NEWS, OLD AS SHIT, BUT BETTER.”

Who will sell more newspapers?

Stay tuned next week for more “FREE BLOGGING LESSONS.”

Oh, by the way, S&P futs are +17 as you read this. Prepare for extreme SHOMPERY via WINSHIPPERY.

If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter

60 comments

  1. xxxHuggieBearxxx
    xxxHuggieBearxxx

    I am banking massive coin this fine sunday evening.

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    • xxxHuggieBearxxx
      xxxHuggieBearxxx

      don’t begrudge me, people.

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      • Frog playing a colorful accordion
        Frog playing a colorful accordion

        People often votes their books with these thumbs. If people are short, they will begrudge you.

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    • donsaurous

      Please go back to yahoo.com, kthx.

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      • xxxHuggieBearxxx
        xxxHuggieBearxxx

        first, if indeed I am on “yahoo.com”, how the fuck would you know? did you just hear it through the grapevine? or, tell me numb-nutts, do you have first-hand experience there?

        understand something – when i go there, i go there to mock fools, as a fucking past time. and now that you fuckers are flocking here, i can just stay resident at my place of preference. welcome aboard.

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        • Yogi & Boo Boo

          @Huggie – where did all these haters come from? It’s like some retiree sells his fine home to someone who turns it into a rental property for his college kid and his frat friends. Next thing you know, parties all the time, cops at all hours of the night, kids pissing on your shrubbery, and you wake up to find 4 cars parked on your front lawn.

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          • drummerboy

            thats what happened across the street where i live yogi. and knowing the direction of the country,it couldnt happen to a better bunch of unwashed.

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    • razorsedge

      if u r doin good hats off 2 u

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  2. schizo1688

    First !!

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  3. sentimentArb

    First one doesn’t make sense – how can a print newspaper be updated in real time? Must be a scam, so I deduce that the second one sells more.

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  4. FIG

    +17?!?!? Man, I hope that shit stays up that much at the open, I’m gonna bank a ton-o-coin from this move.

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  5. jay the coffee guru
    jay the coffee guru

    neither, both go out of buisness due to declining readership and lack of embrace of the continued technological Renaissance of the 21st century..

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  6. FIG

    Well, let’s see. Which channel would you rather watch?

    CNN or History Channel?

    I know my answer is History Channel!

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  7. MX2101

    Updated news has a bigger audience, but Classic news has better audience demographics.

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  8. mrkcbill

    LOL @ Shompery ..God Dammit thats funny

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  9. The Fly

    The answer is: do both, fuckers

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  10. Frog playing a colorful accordion
    Frog playing a colorful accordion

    Which newspaper is owned by Rupert Murdoch?

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  11. john1

    futures higher than Amy Winehouse before she died.

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  12. SHOMPY McSHOMPERSON
    SHOMPY McSHOMPERSON

    POWER SHOMP!

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  13. Dubz

    GOD DAMNIT The futures are egregious. Being 80% long with balls on the wall of a classy nightclub has never felt more appropriate.

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  14. Bullish

    Gonna be some serious face ripping tomorrow… glad it wont be mine. The bears are dead.

    I prefer high quality real time news.

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    • HalfBloodPope

      My favorite quote concerning the likes of bears… “The bears have dug themselves into a hole that will be cemented shut very soon.” – The Fly

      Full disclosure Long….
      GSVC-12.2%
      WNR-13.1%
      AMRN 17.8%
      XIV 56.5%

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  15. Quint

    The guy with the “correct” news will…no matter if it is live or classic.

    The PPT was “correct”…like Grady in The Shining…I “corrected” her…like the bears will be “corrected” Monday morning.

    Now back to Clams & Beer at the Jersey Shore.

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  16. razorsedge

    i intend to sell in to this rally,

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  17. panamaorange

    As i posted mid-week, Obama sent his “party helicopter” entourage to Chicago on wednesday afternoon.

    He’s been ready to capitulate for almost a week. He said he would only attend the big concert/birthday fest if the deal was settled by Aug 3rd.

    Whenever you see the “Marine one” chopper fleeing for a vacation spot, you know Obama is about to capitulate on an issue. Its like his version of “Teddy KGB” and his “Oreo tell”.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RiuE1rWnso&feature=related

    In terms of several volume studies, it looks like XLF banks can move up 8% now. Certainly looks safer than chasing QQQ up here.

    http://chart.ly/cm8gxiu

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    • JakeGint

      Holy crap!

      Its like his version of “Teddy KGB” and his “Oreo tell”.

      That is bloody genius as well as being very funny. This may be my candidate for “comment of the year, 2011” — with five months to go….

      ____________

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  18. Dubz

    Tell you what would be fucked up, I’d suddenly all commented here were teleported randomly to some cocktail party, a weird group of people that would be.

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    • HalfBloodPope

      Fly assured me it could be a possibility when WNR hits 25.

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      • Dubz

        Has to be totally random like mid conversation or while eating a sandwich or some dude shaving his back suddenly at the party with a drink in hand dressed as they were when teleported.

        The odds of this happening are similar to that of Devil Dog still owning his viper.

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  19. Frog playing a colorful accordion
    Frog playing a colorful accordion

    It would be good. You don’t normally find all these kinds of people together in one place. If it happened, we likely all would learn new things from each other.

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  20. razorsedge

    second, or third if your countin

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    • razorsedge

      was reply to frog and bullish, dont know why it didnt connect

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  21. Carsony

    Tricky question. The rate of information doubles yearly…
    Headlines are what get a readers attention. It’s called
    Usp- unique selling proposition.

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  22. GYSC

    Should be plenty or new retired folks after tomorrows massive move up 🙂

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  23. No One

    It’s all been planned. Embrace your destiny.

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  24. Carsony

    A deal has been made..now what?

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  25. xxxHuggieBearxxx
    xxxHuggieBearxxx

    We are going MUCH higher.

    Not sure about new highs, but i would look for a retest.

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    • xxxHuggieBearxxx
      xxxHuggieBearxxx

      by the way, look for a “better than expected” jobs report this friday.

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  26. ROTFLMFAO!

    The USA is taking a shit, we dont have enough $$$ to pay our debts but putting a bandaid on the problem by some bullshit budget cuts and raising the debt ceiling is good for a 200 pt rally in the dow! LMFAO
    This market is a trader’s wet dream and an investor’s stomach churning nightmare!

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  27. razorsedge

    2 much 2 little, 2 late……………i just like that song. no revelence!

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  28. Po Pimp

    Are we finally going to get those bitches?

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  29. JakeGint

    I know most of you guys are pretty savvy, and don’t need to rehash our current economic status, but for those of you who want the broader perspective, you can check here to see if we are “out of the woods,” quite yet.

    ____________

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  30. Alvari40

    A major gap fade tomorrow?

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  31. j

    You gotta love the PPT

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  32. johnny2time

    It’s just all about XIV.

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    • razorsedge

      so far thats worked out?

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      • johnny2time

        I sold a good amount at 18 and have been buying back in the low 16’s. It will be in the 20’s in no time.

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  33. The_Real_Hmmm

    It all makes perfect nonsense.

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  34. Bud Tender

    Newspaper?!

    You mean that stuff that my dog & bird shit on?

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