I got good news and bad news.
The good news is, the economy is on fire, likely creating 1 million jobs in February. The bad news is, you’re all gonna starve anyway. ROFLMAOMG!!!!!!!!!!!!
Corn
But I have a solution. As we speak, “The Fly” is drafting up a 50 page power-point presentation, Bill Ackman style, regarding my proposal to peg the dollar to the price of corn. In other words, yes, I am suggesting we go on “the corn standard.” I will present this detailed plan on CNBC, as soon as I am finished.
I am confident this plan will resonate with policy makers and bearded clams alike. For one, it will bring stability to our whacky, third world style currency. We can walk around in sheep’s skinned coats, comfortably knowing and bragging about our currency being backed by “hard, tangible assets.” We make shit here and will be the envy of the world.
Secondly, the Federal Reserve, backed by The First Bank of Corn, can always ask the First Bank of Corn to simply plant more corn. The more corn planted, the more money we will have (i.e. “rich as fuck”).
Third, we can walk around with nibblets in our pockets and either pay for shit or have an afternoon snack. Win, win.
Lastly, after the corn standard is installed, we can control government spending by demanding those fuckers on capitol hill “show us the corn.” No corn, no tomahawks. Plain and simple.
Failure to adhere to my plan will result in the eventual starvation of 75% of you corn can fuckers out there. So, I strongly suggest you support my “creamed corn” plan to prosperity, else your bones will soon be used to fertilize my corn crops.
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My god, this plan is brilliant. Prosperity can be had by anyone with a decent patch of mid-western backyard. I am already sitting pretty as i’ve got many an expired can of corn in my cubboard.
However, I would suggest we not count popcorn as hard currency. It may technically be a corn varietal, but it’s not of the same quality.
People will dig through stool samples for corn!!!
Then so be it
Corn? I don’t remember eating corn!
Yer gonna start a fire!!!
plant more corn / print more dollars
Oops I just ate some popcorn along with the profits………crap.
Brilliant!
I suggest you procure the domain name iBankCorn.com promptly
LOL!
-Mohhamar Corndaffyduck
Um,…too late! That domain name is already taken.
Fiendishly clever. My Pee Party associates promote an alternative. COTTON. A new cotturrency based on the basic needs of Planet Moonshit dogbreaths everywhere, shirts, shorts, knickers, sweatyshirts, ponies, mechanical devices like the cotton gin, support for the industrial complex that controls pesticides for the boll weevil. A new mantra, if you can knit it, you can fuck it. Brilliant! And bye the bye, I’ll drink cotton gin but I won’t smoke oregano. That’s for you downstreet dick for brains.
You can’t eat cotton.
Corn wins again
Maybe, maybe not. Cotton candy, a carnival staple, is eaten and stuck to faces, hands, clothes, wnrs requiring gross stimulation to GNP through necessary production of soap, scrubbers, towels and whatever. Who the fuck ever heard of corn candy ‘cept’n fer the rednecks who also gobble corn dogs at NASCAR cotillions. Oh my God! Corn dogs. Sorta kinda almost like corn wnrs.
Wow, I knew living in the middle of corn fields would pay off one day.. Please enact into law immediately.
Fly for President!
And I’m reminded of Jim Rogers’ call to buy farmland…
Michael Bury is all over it as well
Pardon the language but brilliant fucking analogy! The Fly IS god!
peg it all to steam engines. I have one.
Lady – just blink if you need help.
Good Blast from a local blogger on the rise of “THRIFT STORES”
“The new economy. Thrift stores are a huge growth industry all over the United States.
Is this gonna piss anybody off besides me? WTF!!
I get thrifty, but this aint about Benjamin Franklin, its about the Benjamins or lack thereof.
The oligarchy, with help from local and naitonal kleptomaniacs, scratch that, kleptocrats, has, in the last dozen years, affected a transfer of wealth, to a selected 1.5%, who now own, 34.5% of American wealth.
CDOs, Mortgaged Back Securities, Lloyd Blankfien and Goldman Sachs Fuckhead Captains of Industry and the whole cadre of greedy, scumbag robber barons have left Americans thrilled to shop at all the “New Thrift Stores” , buy Chinese shit from Wallmart and put our neighbors outta work.
I wanna a fuckin Black and White tv, I wanna pay a ton for it, and I want it made in America goddamnit! I wann pay more for cars, and I don’t want a fuckin Toyota, I want Chevys and Fords made by Americans!
I want fuckin Tarrifs like the fuckin Chineeeeese have so our goods can compete, I want AMERICAN FUCKIN STEELE FROM FUCKIN PENNSYLVANIA!!
I want Silicone valley to come bakc from oveseas!
I want Electric cars and shale oil and fuck Islam in thier colelctive asses!
I want more guns and more fuckin American whiskey, and no more fuckin THRIFT STORES!!
I wanna see my neighbor go to work and watch his kids grow up and go to a school where there is NO revisionist history.
The only type of people that I wanna see shopping at THRIFT STORES are the homeless guy with the golden voice and his family. Thats what fuckin thrift stores are for!
I want pieces of shit from the Hindu Kush and the mideast to quake like crack heads every time they see the flag.
I wanna quit bullshitting on the tennis court, like a bunch of fuckin Ricky Martin fans, storm the Bastille and take back the American dream.
Fuck Thrift Stores.”
Tell that sissy faggot to do something about it rather than blog. What a pussy. Texas will secede if this nation turns into a shit hole. Texas dollars will be comprised of US dollars dipped in oil and the scalps of California homos.
I will sell longhorn steaks to you fools when the time comes, I only sell for precious metals and canadian and australian dollars. Even corn and ammunition will be valid trades.
What really rocks, is that we’re exporting corn based ethanol to Brazil b/c the sugar market’s so high they don’t want to turn it into alcohol
Drunk on corn – it’s a great life
What’s next? You fuckers will soon be paying big bucks for NON-RADIOACTIVE WATER!!!!! Better buy the farm……….get ready (to bend over).
Throw you monkeys a bone….
Short Disney (DIS) with impunity….a mere 3% risk…
The FLY is Cornholio
My God this post is great.
You call it corn, we call it “maize”.
Indeud.
This is a corny idea (sorry).
You should “talk to Chuck” about this. Better yet, talk to Jimmy. He likes crack, corn, and doesn’t care.
…..I wonder if “A Monkey Smoking Crack With a Corn Cob Pipe” will add his comments to this edifying discussion.
LOL! One of your finest posts Fly! Hahaha.
is it possible to teardown detroit and turn it into farmland? plant corn for everybody and relocate the housedwellers there chinese style
Winning!
DE ready to roll over $100. This just might get them there.
Corn standard needs a bearded clam, er– bearded cornholio,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7MMTwIlWlU&feature=related
What most people don’t know is that pasta is not an Italian dish. It was first invented in Jamaica by the Pastafarians. Later, in old fascist Italy, they stole the recipe and changed the term Pastafarians to Rastafarians. Ever since, the rastafarians wear spaghetti-looking “dreadlocks” to signify the dread? of having their precious pasta-culture stolen by the Italians.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yl-dtufFR-w
If we go on the corn standard I can literally poop money
Yep, Both the China PMI’s missed estimates…and yep, the mainland market didn’t go down so far on the news. Why? Drip, Drip…do I hear a leak, lol. For the China Govt PMI Actual was (Mar) 53.4 vs analyst estimates 54.3 and China HSBC Manufacturing PMI (Mar) 51.8 vs analyst estimates 52.4
sorry forgot my bad habit of Slang…PMI is Purchasing Managers Index, China has two sets.
Do you ever look within the numbers as well? (of course china data is so reliable) But for example, the main reason various regionals PMIs have beaten on the overall is “prices paid” (thank you ben) and “inventory”. like Chicago, Empire manufacturing etc. I’m sure you’re on top of this but if not send some spies in to find out ok
I do that in my Diary.
Graet man seems very good idea..!!-;)
Good Morning Corn Fields !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nothing like enjoying the sunrise with a cup of roasted corn coffee….
Hey Fly is QIHU an interesting lottery play? surprise you are not in.
Fly is QIHU an interesting lottery play? surpridse you are not in
BT corn may fail – nature rules
CLNE
“we can walk around with nibblets in our pockets and either pay for shit or have an afternoon snack. Win, win.”
Genius, senor. Pure Genius!