Earnings Lotto

Most of you know I tend to avoid holding stocks during earnings. However, when I do, more often than not, I find myself counting lots of big ugly faces, shortly thereafter.

Top earnings pick, into next week: BZ

Boise is a paper and packaging company. Once you start to learn about the market and how cycles work, you will realize that paper companies are early cycle plays. As end use demand upticks, paper companies tend to ramp up fast. It is my belief, we are still in the early phases of US expansion. As such, expect paper companies, like BZ or MERC, to handle earnings expectations easily.

Considering the

With great elegance, the market sashayed back and forth today, raping bears in the process, yet again. If I bothered to ask Mrs. Fly what she thought of the stock market, whether it be today or 2008, she’d say “it’s so awesome and amazing.”

On the topic of amazing, the dirty fuckers from Muddy Waters issued another report on CCME today. Right on que, the lovely ladies from Zeroedge posted the report. Let me be clear with what I am about to say: they are criminals. I am sure their disclaimers absolve them from getting tossed inside jail; but I will not mince words. CCME gaps up today, as much as 20%. So, the dirtbags at Muddy Waters feel bad about their shorts. What to do, what to do? Hey, “I got an idea,” they declared. “Let’s write another story about how fraudulent CCME is, share it with like minded blogs and make a fortune!”

Since the report was issued today, CCME scaled back by 8%.

In other news, unlike those fuckers, “The Fly” hit new highs today, thanks to AGU, MOS, KEG, ATPG, APC, EXK and even a little BORN. To finance my IPI, CLR, APC extravaganza, I sold out of AGU. It was an easy call, despite my desire to participate in the $100 roll. I was up 12% and I own a shitload of MOS.

Essentially, this shit is easy. I had a half dozen stocks on my immediate buy list bust loose without me today, including VTG, CTCT, WEBM. Here’s a quick freebie: look towards PSUN, young man. Look towards PSUN, small pleb.

I bought both IPI and APC.

UPDATE: I bought CLR

Disclaimer: Out of my fucking way.

APC.

Historically, APC outperforms in March, up 20 of the past 23 years, with an average return of  6.2%. Plus, I know you chart-chomping cowards like it here, about to break out from the 20.

Thank me later.

NOTE: I’ve yet to buy any.

NOTE: All seasonality data derived from The PPT.

NOTE II: Sunday is the last day to join the 3rd Annual March Madness Contest, in The PPT. Winner takes home $1,000.

Since when are we investing with morals? Are you the type of person that refuses to make money off of something socially unacceptable? Or, better yet,  cigarettes don’t cause cancer, chemicals do!? Huh? Exactly. I smoke cigarettes made from $100 bills and I don’t give a shit what sweat shop made them. At the end of the day, when it’s time to put beluga caviar on the table, only one thing counts: currency. Build up your currency reserves so that you can live a better life. What do you jackasses think life is all about? Wait, let me guess, you believe in some sort of panoramic democracy, where people throw flowers at one another, celebrating free health care and vast oil/timber supplies.

Well, fuck you, because this isn’t Canada. Down here in the ghetto of the United States we take naps and bank coin in equities. We import shit from China, then we shit on them for doing so. We eat fatty burgers, then sue Mcdonald’s for making them.

Fuckers on the interwebs are blatantly making shit up about Chinese companies, because they are short. Yesterday’s victim was CAGC. Today, those who shorted CCME, based on scurrilous internet analysis, are getting fucked like dogs. The stock is gapping up with a vengeance, pulling BORN up with it.

Early going, the market is trading off a little. Give it some time; it will come back. On the front burner, precious metals and Gulf of Mexico or African oil plays. I am looking at HDY, ATPG, MMR, GDP or WTI.

Some mysterious blog posted some pictures of a CAGC factory (THE TOMATOES ARE NO GOOD) and morons headed for the exits, creating a funnel. The end result: shares of anything trading in China got God-smacked, including CHBT and more notably for me BORN. Over the past several weeks, I’ve diluted the importance of BORN in my portfolios by spending all available cash on other longs; but it still stings. I am currently down 12% on the position and it is illiquid. Meaning: if I sell the stock, the price will not sustain current levels. Good thing I have a head like a bag of stones. I will stay in the stock until it goes to zero. If these assholes can’t make a living off getting people without morals drunk, then life is a lie.

In other news, I bought size in GNK and IPI, into the bell. All in all, today was a wash, up less than 0.5%, thanks to gains in VCLK, MOS, AGU, ATPG, KEG and BZ.

I look forward to enjoying yet another fun filled day in retardville, with you morons, tomorrow.

I bought 20,000 GNK

Thanks to the Federal Reserve, we have no inflation. Having said that, we also have inflation. Not to confuse your dog brains or anything, but inflation is not what you think it is. Real inflation is something that only the Chinese and the Indians have to deal with. Here in America, the Federal Reserve defeats all forms of inflation with their “inflation laser beam” guns.

Year to date, cotton is up 42%, tin 21%, nickel 16%, cocoa 11%, coffee 8%, corn 8%, uranium 6% and cattle 5%. Hell, Brent crude is up a fuckload too, as well as all forms of heating oil, lending (mind you) to terrific crack spreads for the refiners. Should these spreads sustain, shares of HOC, VLO, ALJ, DK and TSO will continue to soar.

The dollar is down 0.4% today, putting it down 10% over the past 9 months.

What does this mean for a fucktard, such as yourself?

Well, for one, the idiot clothes you wear will have to go up in price. And, the next time you book a trip to Europe, prepare to get fleeced. Higher commodity prices is a not so subtle way of  governments telling you to go fuck yourselves. Pay the toll; shut your fat face. Speaking of fat, you really need to stop eating so much. It’s making the price of rice go up.

The only logical thing to do, when faced with such egregious forms of “non-inflation,”  is to milk the farmer, ahead of the planting season. Farmers will be spending money like rappers this spring. Count on that. Just going off the back of a napkin here, I reckon the shares of AGU, MOS, DE, CF, TEX, CAT, BG, MON, ANDE, LNN, VMI, just to name a few, are going a lot higher. Ya’ll fuckers need to recognize this shit right here and stop thinking you are outside the bun. You stupid motherfuckers: you are the bun and Bernanke is hungry for some burger. All of you are simply afterthoughts in the big scheme of things.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcWkNXm_wR8 616 500]

Brent crude is soaring on this news.

BORN is coming out with earnings one of these days. They’re Chinese. Therefore, it’s a fucking mystery. They should just send out the release in fortune cookies and focus really hard on getting their populous drunk. Not knowing how their numbers look: I am a bit worried about input costs, with regards to corn. On the other hand, RECORD amounts of people are moving in from rural areas to urban, which is VERY BULLISH for beverage consumption. Ask any private equity investor in Asia: “what is the best way to take advantage of Asian emergence?”

Answer: buy beverage stocks. There is a direct correlation between creation of wealth and fuckers wanting to get drunk.

Also, I am loading up on BZ, ahead of numbers, scheduled to be released next Friday morning. I realize this is a risky trade; but is it really? The fuckers from Boise have been raping the estimates for awhile now. Considering the ramp up in the economy, I sincerely doubt they will drop the ball now. Having said that, I’ve been clubbed in the balls before.

I am aggressively long the commodity space, long the following: NGD, EXK, MOS, AGU, KEG and ATPG. Go ahead and look at those fuckers run, then ask me how my day is going.

Essentially, “The Fly” is throwing dice; but they’re fucking loaded.