iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,473 Blog Posts

We’re Cutting Off Dicks Today

Yesterday’s sell off in silver, due to a rumor that the lunatic in Libya caught a headshot, was absurd. Fine stocks, like EXK, NGD and AG, sold off with reckless abandon. As I watched, in horror, from a fucking hotel that encourages children to smoke cigarettes inside non-smoking rooms, one thing came to mind: buy more.

I hear voices, all the time. I also see shadows, particularly near my favorite urinal. Incidentally, they smoke cigarettes too. I reckon they originated from North Carolina, as well. But that’s not the point.

At any rate, I informed you just yesterday of my “immediate” and irreconcilable victory to be. Well, here we are and the market is looking awfully pleasant this morning. If I didn’t know any better, coming from another galaxy and all, I’d surmise the market was prepared to cut off the dicks of those who bet against it. Yes, that would be the very first thought that would come to mind.

From ADBE to WFC to AG to OPEN back to APC: I am winning again.

For those of you who opted to sell short the market yesterday, clamoring for it to collapse: enjoy your dickless torso this weekend.

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38 comments

  1. The Fly's Mom

    Go Scooter, go !

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  2. Dr Genius

    I am cutting off bear dicks True Religion (TRLG) style today.

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  3. Tx Slave Trader

    “enjoy your dickless torso this weekend.” – lol epic

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  4. The_Real_Hmmm

    On to the next round with APA in the Final Four.

    I bought asshole ludicrous smoking cigarettes while doing the backstroke in the hotel pool weekly puts on VXX yesterday and they are up over 700% today. I’ll take it.

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    • Blind Read Ant

      I’ve been monitoring RAI (cig’s) since their split last fall. Anyone care to opine?

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      • Jakegint

        Gotta like that dividend. Almost can’t go wrong w it.

        _____

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        • checklist

          “flation” proof also. smokers won’t quit if we get a recession, and if we had a strong deflationary environment cigs would be one of the last bastions of pricing power.

          and in inflation, they can raise the prices as fast as anything else because, well, they have a captive audience.

          and actual tobacco costs must be a tiny fraction of their selling price, meaning a spike in tobacco prices probably won’t kill them, but would provide justification for said price hike.

          “flation” proof businesses are good…

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          • Blind Read Ant

            Merci Beaucoup

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          • Belly of the Beast
            Belly of the Beast

            Not really, after 35 years of rising prices at 2 packs a day, and a mayor that wants to give me $ 100 tickets for smoking at the beach, park, “pedestrian plazas,” and marinas; maybe I’ll stop giving MO 6 grand a year ……………………….. maybe.

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    • teapartyjr

      Congratulations on your victory, sir. Pray, the Middle East burns for another 4 weeks ensuring you victory. I will lick my wounds sitting in my crappy Pier One Imports wicker chair.

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  5. Fatso

    Cut off bear dicks all you want. They just grow back, much like hair: thicker and longer.

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  6. Jobo

    Fly, where in NC? Are you moving down here? Tough to beat the weather here… except the hot summers.

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    • The Fly

      I’m staying at the Umstead.

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      • Jobo

        10-4. You picked the right place to move. This area is great. The food at the Umstead is fantastic. Enjoy.

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        • Jakegint

          You should hook up with the Artist. Buy you an egregious Robb Report Bike.

          ______

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        • The Fly

          I also have clients down here. Win, win.

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          • Jakegint

            Artist starts selling some of those egregious bikes, you might have him as a client.

            _____

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          • checklist

            charlottes airport is one of, imo, the very best and nicest in the country.

            and one GREAT place to sit and stare at beautiful girls. Its not that there aren’t beautiful girls everywhere, but take, say, LA, they all look alike, exactly like little manufactured plastic dolls or people ethat wish they looked like that. But in Chaw’lott … myriad types of beauties walk by, frequently.

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  7. JTU

    AGU, MOS, POT, AG, All looking good so far today!

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  8. Hassam Salami, Manager
    Hassam Salami, Manager

    Mr. Fly. We hope you are enjoying the stay at our fine hotel. Please remember that we consider our guests to be Number 2. Number 1 is, of course, the hookers that use our rooms and the revenue they share with me. Please feel free to use the extras we provide for our guests. All guests over 5 years old get a complimentary pack of Marlboro cigarettes. Thank you Philip Morris. There is NO extra charge for the mold in our bathroom or the stains on the toilet seats- assuming your room has a seat. If it does have a seat there will be an extra $2.00 per day charge.
    However, there is no charge for the air conditioned blankets. You may know them as the ones with the cigarette burn holes.
    Feel free to visit our free breakfast of grits, scrabble, and fried ox tail scrambled eggs down in the basement next to the dumpster.
    Thanks again. US cash only.

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  9. Salami Hassami

    Fly,
    We offer all the same amenities, and, “We’ll keep the lights on for ya!”

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    • Hassam Salami, Manager
      Hassam Salami, Manager

      Maybe, but, we have half of the bedbugs you have. I know, because my cousin Habeeb sprays at your dump of a hotel every week. Now stay away from our Prime customers like Fly, or else I will do a jihad on you. Ignore him Mr. Fly. Remember with us, you receive 4 million points for every stay and after 60 million points you get a free toilet seat for one night.

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  10. xochi

    I’m guessing it’s now safe to hold over the weekend.

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  11. T-Shirt

    Fly – I saw the iBC merchandise store… any shot we can get some iBC v-neck shirts?? I would def order one of those up!!

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  12. A Monkey With a Hotel full of people with no teef
    A Monkey With a Hotel full of people with no teef

    What the fuck do you expect from a hotel south of the Mason-Dixon line? They allow you to smoke anywhere.

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    • Jakegint

      Not true anymore. Not even in Smoke Em if You Got Em Kentuck.

      The Cig Nazis abide.

      _____

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      • A Monkey With a Hotel full of people with no teef
        A Monkey With a Hotel full of people with no teef

        Wow. Can’t even smoke in a bar in PA unless they serve 20% food, 80% alcohol. We suck.

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      • Belly of the Beast
        Belly of the Beast

        Think I’ll save my life and 6-10 g’s a year and quit, how’s that gonna work out for MO,PMI and RAI ?
        ………… and I make more cashish than other smokers that are more concerned with paying bills.

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  13. jimmie

    The dickless torso’s is the name of my new band ROFL :golf clap:

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  14. Frank Gamwell

    You went all zerohedge earlier in the week. All hail the clam

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  15. James

    As a fellow bull, I couldn’t be more pleased. I bought the sh*t outta that dip!! Yeah, it was a little nerve racking at times but it feels so good now. Pardon me while I go get my dick sucked.

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  16. Tradingmantis

    I saw the dickless torsos open up for Black Flag in ’81.

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