iBankCoin

MARKET MANSPLODES HIGHER AGAIN

Sorry I threatened to punch your face off thru your Chardonnay glass yesterday. I’m feeling much better today. I needed some rest and when I get tired, I tend to get grumpy and very dark. NO GREY MATTER spilled onto urine drenched floors, littered with your teeth today. Promise!

Big dicked, man move higher today. Nothing is flying in my holdings, however, except one or two things flying lower. No worries. The day is young and filled with promise.

I have errands to run this morning and sadly cannot be around for a few hours. My riot coverage on twitter produced some interested videos last night. Police tactics have changed and now circle around Sun Tzus Art of war, trapping the enemy, boxing them in, and then GASSING them. Quite incredible, really.

Looting continues, but has dissipated — so we rally to the moon on the specter of hope and REBUILDING!

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MAY THE FIRES BURN BRIGHT AND HOT AND INCINERATE YOU ALL TO ASH

Lots of internet chardonnay drinking edgelords in my comments section nowadays — men of privilege and comfort discussing matters of violence and chaos. You do not know what violence is — Mr. I’ve always lived in comfort. You laugh now and you root for the fires now — but you will not be happy when your head is being roasted on a grill for the purposes of consumption.

Those chardonnay glasses that you drink from will get punched through your black boxes and your teeth will spill out onto a urine drenched pavement, dripping red, followed by 100 consecutive head stomps until the grey matter inside of your skull gives way.

I see now there is a hysteria gripping the country — dangerous people led by Orcs — rampaging everywhere. This sickness has been festering for a decade and is now rearing its hideous head for the world to see with gratuitous amusement. Only in America do you have a citizenry cheering on destruction and violence from afar — no different from all of those chicken-hawks who sent our boys to die for worthless wars the past 30 years. The whole thing is rot and the issues that are important are of course ignored. Nevertheless, jog on with your pride and good sense of accomplishment — slicing oranges for the dregs of society.

I will of course document these events and trade these events and profit from these events — because what else can I do?

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APPLE PROMOTES ‘FUCK THA POLICE’ SONG BY NWA ON THEIR BLACK OUT TUESDAY PLAYLIST

In clown world, shitty rap songs that you liked when you were 15 — because they were daring and outrageous, get displayed as works of social art by the world’s largest company during the worst riots in American history. You’d think they would promote a more harmonious song, especially for their last ballad during a time when law enforcement are being shot and run over by the mob in America’s streets — but I guess Oliver Schusse — head of Apple Music — doesn’t think so and has chosen to side against police.

Apparently, we do not need police anymore. All prisoners should be released and only racist people punished. Rapists, pedophiles, murderers, and thieves are free to do as they like — in this NEW AMERICA of lawlessness and vengeance.

In other news, stocks are looking fantastic now — amidst the charred rubble and blown out cities and heaves of trash strewn out across the streets.

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FUTURES SOAR AFTER ANOTHER NIGHT OF MAYHEM IN AMERICA

I am a foremost expert in all things pertaining to riot. I can comfortably say, there isn’t a single person in this country who has researched these riots and all of its depravity more than me. I entreat you to view my Twitter page for details of the videos I’ve catalogued.

So you know, I’ve been up all night transfixed by them, intermittently entertained with other things — but mainly doing the riots. I know every street in every major city in America. I know what gangs hate one another and who is beating the shit out of one another on an hourly scale. It’s easy to ignore these events if you live in a nice little enclave away from the urban centers — but you’d be a fool to do that.

Now what I am about to say is incendiary and probably wrong, especially since I was wrong about selling stocks at the bottom due to COVID-19. I simply did not think the Fed would jerk us off so quickly. At any rate, by my best math — this country will be completely collapsed inside of 2 years — to the point of ferral creatures FORCED to raid your homes for food and supplies. See what’s happening now? Well, what do you think will happen when the supply chain breaks and food isn’t delivered? They will starve and resort to RAIDING homes, which is why you need to grip up immediately and prepare to shoot people into their skulls for attempting to take your mashed potatoes.

Because of this and other unsavory developments in America, it’s probably best you move out of the country all together. Perhaps I’m just being a reactionary fucktard. I hope this is just a fever dream and I didn’t bear witness to cops getting run over by cars and smashed with garbage cans last night and I can wake up to a country that is defined by dignity and order.

Alas, I’d like to offer a piece of advice — do not be the hero. It is not your job to defend your city. This is a popular uprising, like it or not, supported by all of your favorite celebrities and media personnel. No one is bashing the wanton criminality out of fear — just like in all previous revolutions since the beginning of time. But I will say it — FUCK THOSE PEOPLE ripping the streets apart. Nevertheless, it is the job of law enforcement and the government to ensure the safety of its citizens. If they cannot do that, it is a failed state. Failed states do not deserve credit ratings.

For now, futures are sharply higher, +150 Dow — because all of the inventory has been cleared — sneakers flying off the shelves — a real fucking barn burner out there.

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I LOOTED WALL STREET FOR FLOYD TODAY

Enough of you rich fuckers. I took to the internet and RANSACKED Wall Street in honor of George Floyd today. You can try to stop me — but I don’t think you can do it. I have a gang of traders in the Pelican Room and we’re like minded in our purpose to TAKE WHAT WE DESERVE and much more.

Here are today’s booked trades. I have many more on the books now and I intend on taking profits soon on those as well.

ETSY +2%
(AMC -5.3%)
(ASRT -3%)
OSTK +3.9%
GLUU +4.1%
INMD +1.3%
ALDX +6.4%

Truth is, this is the best thing to ever happen to America, at this current time. None of the inventory was moving due to COVID-19, so now we get to RESTOCK everything and insuranceFAGS will foot the bill. Everything melted up today — because the malaise of the quarantine has been SHOCKED out of us and now people don’t give a fuck about catching the airborne aids and have taken to the streets to destroy America.

Burn the fucking flag. Burn the streets and the buildings and tear down those god damned monuments. But know this, no matter how hard you try, you will never be able to raze Wall Street.

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Louis Vuitton Artistic Director Lambasted for SMALL DONATION to Looters Jail Bailout Fund

Essentially, corporations are sorry that you stole from them and want to make it up to you by donating to your bail fund, so that you might escape jail in order to steal more of their wares. Expect all companies, especially Nike, to pander. This is a little more sublime, the case of Virgil Abloh — artistic director of luxury goods maker Louis Vuitton.

He’s scrambling to explain to people why he only donated $50 to the looters bailout fund. Whatever his reasons are, one thing is perfectly clear — moral hazard is 100% out of the shattered window now. The Fed prints money to buy bankrupt bonds. All banks get bailed out. And now you can throw a trash can thru a window and STEAL everything in whatever store you relish.

Personally, I am RANSACKING Wall Street today, executing well timed trades, and TRASH CAN THRU WINDOW actions of my own — attempting to grab my share of the billions to be made during the REBUILDING OF AMERICA.

Close to 200 cities have been destroyed by FREEDOM FIGHTERS and we’ve only started to begin, in the never-ending sanctimonious whir of criminality that is forcing a consumer obsessed America to come to grips with her many sins. Ostensibly, the country is finished and in 20 years it would have nuked itself into oblivion — praising foreign armies who walk thru her streets for freeing her from the yoke of oppressors. The experiment tried was doomed from the start and the wounds have never healed — because they cannot ever heel. For those of you still patriotic to the ideal of America — find solace in old movies and memories — because you’re never going to be able to look at the flag and waive it again — without something chasing after you with a brick calling you a Nazi.

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Markets Rise on the REBUILDING OF AMERICA Thesis!

Thank you rioters. All of those wares were going to remain idle in those stores for some time — thanks to COVID-19. Now seeing you out there grabbing gibs — you’ve given us all the courage to cavort and spendthrift on new expensive wares. Plus, might I add, the wares you stole are insured, so all of that will need to be replaced.

THE RESTOCKING OF AMERICA is upon you and all of the infrastructure damaged will need to be rebuilt too. On top of that, we all want guns now, in order to shoot you through the heads when you finally get around to RAIDING HOMES and taking what is rightfully yours. The fires burn on both ends of the candle and I am certain Main Street will greet you as LIBERATORS when you enter their suburban homes.

Additionally, since you’ve displayed the fact that law enforcement is all but a clown show now — people can pretty much do we they like when they want to — we all feel the need to secure ourselves in other ways. Sporting goods come to mind and ELECTRIC TASERS. I hear if you taser a would be looter into the face with a FULL CHARGE, it might dissuade some of his colleagues from stepping onto your lawn. One thing is certain, Wall Street loves it. The Nasdaq is up 40 and I am nearly fully invested — went long a shit load of stocks in Exodus — with the sole purpose of LOOTING the market in memory of George Floyd and taking what is rightfully mine.

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Perfectly Fine Shopping Weekend Ruined; Wall Street Yawns at Riots

I spent my weekend cataloguing human behavior — showcasing all sorts of wild videos of people behaving badly. One bad behavior tops another and another, and a crescendo takes hold — the allure of luxury items dangled at the poor — in a consumer obsessed society and BOOM — all of the high end inventory disappears! The seeds of discord have been sowed long ago and nothing will ever change America and peace will never reign thru her streets.

Those urban centers are wonderful depositories of culture and now that culture is being shared with its citizens in a most intimate manner. I’ve always known to keep my kids out of Brooklyn, which is why I moved out long ago. Those places are a breeding ground for hostile actions and poor choices. If you come out the other end intact, you might be stronger for it. But as a parent, it’s hard to permit that Hobson’s choice be made for you.

Alas Wall Street is trying to price in the carnage — Dow futures barely changed — off 19 on Nasdaq. I will be playing GLASS STOCKS and other companies who will assist in the REBUILDING OF AMERICAS SHITTIEST CITIES! We all know the insurance companies are soooo eager to pay claims and all of the BIG BUSINESSES more than willing to merely turn a blind eye to an UNFORESEEN reduction in their inventory — FOR THE BETTERMENT OF AMERICA and society and to value the lives of her people. Indeed, we need to explore ways to PROFIT from this carnage and take the events that have disrupted and uprooted communities and convert that energy into greedy profit centers inside Exodus — building large fortunes off the misery of others.

You can ask me if I care and I will tell you emphatically no — not in the least. Onward we go, into the fires and the smoke. As America burns, Le Fly roasts his pig head and smokes his cigar.

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Long Time Coming: America Burns

I’ll try hard not to virtue signal about the events of last night. I was transfixed by the widespread riots, just like everyone else. I catalogued them on my Twitter account for 8 hours straight. Feel free to peruse those videos to get a taste of what America’s largest cities felt last night.

America has been a tinder box for as long as I’ve known her, vast income inequality, poorly trained law enforcement officers, lack of inspirational leadership, obvious fuckery in DC for decades supporting wars for the purpose of death and profit. The events of last night, on the surface, looks like a response to the murder of George Floyd — but that was merely the proverbial straw that broke the camels back and now with the levies broken — wanton criminality and discord are permitted freely to raze America without reproach, save NYPD, and it’s happening during the very worst time in American history — financially speaking.

Watching malls burn and neighborhoods reduced to ash, I couldn’t help but to think they’d never be rebuilt. Municipalities are already broke. Government cannot keep tapping debt markets and/or creating funny money to support this rigged system of profligate spending — the verisimilitude of success.

For two months America has been in lockdown — forced to adhere to the strictest social distancing rules in her history. Jobs were lost. Government sent out checks to placate the citizenry and encouraged obedience. Austere rules were respected and people ZOOM’d one another instead of enjoying each others presence. And then the country exploded — forgot all of that — and mobbed in the streets by the thousands — conveniently donning their COVID-19 masks to shield them from conviction for the crimes they committed in the name of injustice. The irony is rich with absurdity and we shouldn’t just discard the events of last night as “more left wing discord” financed by Soros. There is a sickness in the country, a melancholy sadness that is at the root of all this. We’ve bore witness to interminable acts of violence the past decade, and as horrible as it is to see a shopping mall looted and burned, it’s preferable to a crowd of concert goers being mowed down by a lunatic perched above with a machine gun in Vegas.

And still…markets will likely gap higher on Monday — based off some newly minted stimulus scheme to help cities rebuild.

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NO FEAR AGAIN! Markets Roar

A quick rundown of the news flow from today.

Hong Kong special treatment being nuked.

On all of this shit, Nasdaq ran from negative values to +120. Any questions? It’s a hard thing to believe in the tooth fairy — but that’s exactly what I am telling you to do. There is a fairy and she will visit you whenever you have a tooth for sale and she will give you thousands of dollars per tooth, or more. I bought a bunch of shit earlier this afternoon and have been busy building Stocklabs for the people.

You can monitor our progress on our Twitter account.

Sign up for beta trial here.

Or buy a fucking mug or other MERCH here.

I am a man of many things, different to all people, both dynamic and static at the same time — consistent yet evolving. My best trading advice to you is to stop trading and join us inside Exodus, where you can sit down for $2 per day and eat all of the fish your greedy hearts could possibly desire.

Ciao.

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