18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,150 Blog Posts

Loser Rally

This is a suckers rally—and you know it.

A friend of mine just called and bitched about being down today, despite being 100% long.

This rally has the look and feel of a loser.

With my time, I’d rather cook up some “Asshat Stew,” than fuck around— trying to catch a bottom.

FXP seems viable here.

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Asshat Stew

This asshat stew is simmered with asshat cubes, bagels, oatmeal, and a few whole cloves.


  • 2 pounds asshat
  • 2 tablespoons oil
  • 4 medium sword steaks, cut in 1-inch slices
  • 4 medium onions, cut in chunks
  • 4 medium bagels, cut in 1-inch cubes
  • 1 can condensed fucktard
  • 2 cups boiling whiskey
  • 3/4 teaspoon corn sauce
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • dash pepper
  • 4 whole cloves
  • 3 tablespoons Monster Energy Soda
  • 3 tablespoons cold water


Cut asshat into cubes; brown in heavy skillet in hot oil. Add bagels, onions, oatmeal, fucktard broth, boiling whiskey, corn sauce, salt, and pepper. Tie cloves in a small cheesecloth bag and add to stew.

Cover and simmer stew for 1 1/2 hours. Drain off liquid into large oatmeal bowl. Mix Monster Energy Soda with the cold water until smooth; blend into the hot liquid in saucepan. Cook, stirring constantly, until thickened. Add thickened fucktard  broth to the asshat and bagel mixture. Remove cloves.
Asshat stew serves 4.


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Busy Rolling Rubber Tires Down Hills

Oh, is the market up today?

I didn’t notice, since “The Fly” has taken a new job at his local gasoline station.

However, I will say, yesterday’s panic sales are not coming back to bite me, yet.

XFML is hardly up and the other non-descript names aren’t budging.

On the other hand, my longs are ripping higher, led by “alphabet waste,”  VMW.

Believe me, I am tempted to buy stock, right now. However, I have instructed my trader/servant to throw lunch meat at me, should I get the urge to actually put money to work in this death trap.

Should we go higher, I’ll recoup losses and proceed to roll rubber tires down steep hills.

In short, I’m not selling or buying here.


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Abu Dhabi Takes a Piece of Citi

I find it amusing how the “wheel-barrow” dollar, coupled with the obliterated stock price of C (thanks to the ‘credit crisis’), has paved the way for Abu Dhabi to step in and eat almost 5% of “the group” for a song and dance, or 7.5 billion dollars.

I’m not a protectionist. As a matter of fact, I believe Americans run their companies like fucktards. I just chuckle, not laugh, at how this government is allowing major institutions, like C, CFC or WM, fall by the wayside.

On this news, the market should spike tomorrow. However, I’m not ready to jump back on the bull train, until I see significant improvement in sentiment.

As you know, the fundamentals have not changed.

Hat tip: Dinosaur Trader

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Watch Your Kitchen/Short Snap

I see many of you shitbags believe you can get away with making inflammatory remarks, while gloating about “awesome” or “fantastic” gains on subsequent short sales.

Just remember, you are here wasting time, reading some assholes blog, while I’m milking you for Monster Energy Soda money.

Odd no?

Plus, I know where you live and will have your kitchen cabinets removed, shortly.

With regards to the market:

Is losing vast sums of money the worst thing that can happen in life?

Answer: No

Being a spastic retard, like most of you, is far worse, regardless of fashionable bear market gains.

One more thing:

Those fuckers from Snap.com are flat out liars. You know the  company that provided those annoying little pop-up previews?

As far as I’m concerned, they’re either frauds or grossly inept. Either way, if you operate a blog, stay away from them.

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Kill Santa

I’m not doing this anymore.

You know, being the last bull in Rome, as Rome burns.

Towards the end of the day, I sold boatloads of stock, which included most of my XFML position. As you know, Ducati was right, again.

This is a worst case scenario for the bulls. There is no confidence; therefore, it makes sense to capitulate here.

If the bears are right, as I said before, we will be 20% lower from today’s closing prices. With that being said, don’t let your cost basis get in the way of making smart decisions.

Take a look at your portfolio and if you wouldn’t buy XYZ at these levels, with fresh cash, sell it twice now.

With my money, I bought more FXP.

Fuck China.

Also, I raised lots of cash and will be looking to drag Santa Claus out of his shitsled, by the beard, in order to club him to death, via short sales.

I will post my short list later.

All in all, “The Fly” got lit aflame today.

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Fly Buy: FXP

I bought 2,000 FXP @ $88.

Disclaimer: If you buy FXP because of this post, in your after life, you will be a stock broker. And, you may lose money.

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Bull vs. Bears

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LcnPpo0tV6M 450 300]

Nice knowing you.

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