iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,478 Blog Posts

Revenge of the Bears

Today’s tape is not too much different than the epic movie, “Revenge of the Nerds.” I’ll have you know, “The Fly” has never been a dedicated bearshitter, until this year. With that being said, I have met the acquaintance of many short sellers, overt the past year, and boy are they pissed.

They bellow, holler and scream over the “false data” coming out of the government shitboxes. They cried foul when the Fed tried to move equity prices higher, via emergency cuts and broker bail outs. They, my silly internet friends, are having their way today.

I can tell you, they will offer you no quarter. You shall and will, deservedly so, receive the black flag, if you choose to ignore the reverse momentum and resumption of the primary downtrend.

Sell the banks, especially really bad ones at $20, on their way to $5.

Some new names on my list include: [[TCB]] and [[WTFC]].

When in doubt, go with the “Reverse Four Horsemen” of death and destruction, via [[FHN]], [[CORS]], [[FED]] and [[DSL]].

On the investment management side, short ideas include [[COWN]], [[JEF]], [[SUSQ]], [[LEH]], [[MER]], [[CLMS]], [[TWPG]], [[WDR]] and [[JNS]].

Fuck Janus.

However, it’s worth noting, my baby aka “crown jewel short” is [[CHL]]. It shall suffer a fate far worse than what the great Samurai warriors faced, when the gatling gun took the battlefield, many moons ago.

On the long side, all I’m interested in is oil/gas. Pick from the litter, fuckball.

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EMERGENCY BREAKING NEWS ALERT

“The Fly” is playing his favorite short sale rap tune, in his office, while smoking two cigars and cordially sipping Monster Energy soda via his diamond encrusted chalice.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQbHAY1VSj0 450 300]

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Fly Buys: FTK, SRS

I bought 2,000 [[FTK]] @ $18.20. And, I bought 2,000 [[SRS]] @ $83.87.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, crude will spike to $1,000 per barrel, by Christmas. And, you may lose money.

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PARABOLIC

The spike in oil is so alarming, immediately following this post, I will fill up my Lexus gas guzzler, with a fresh tank. And, I will call my wife and tell her to fill up the other cars.

With oil spiking like this, you have to be long energy stocks.

For a short squeeze, my favorite is [[FTK]].

My preferred “dunk shot”: is [[RIG]]. And, based upon valuation, [[PCZ]] is cheaper than a Bronx whore on a rainy night.

All in all, “The Fly” is enjoying Godly returns (+3%), as everything is working, with exception to a few stupid longs. However, for the most part, my big energy positions, coupled with my inverse ETF “funhouse of death and carnage,” are working hard.

Keep in mind, should this market continue to slide, you will find no safe quarter in equities, regardless of sector. Instead, you will receive the ominous “black flag,” which is never a good thing.

At some point, EVERYTHING becomes a “source of funds.” So, in order to protect your bullshit accounts, ignore the newly invented “bull ball juggler”: Rick Santelli, and sell short some stocks.

Personally, I wish grave things to the fucktards in China. Sell short [[CHL]] with impunity, based upon valuation and gayness of its host country. Moreover, it may be time to nail [[LEH]] again, being that it’s up for two consecutive days.

Top pick: [[FXP]], short CHL

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ROFL: 5.5%

The Government stats are so corrupt and fucktarded, they’re forgetting their own lies. How the fuck does the unemployment rate jump to 5.5%, yet only report a loss of 49,000 jobs?

Truly amazing.

Nonetheless, people are hardcore out of work. Apparently, the Great Depression, part II, is back on the table.

In other news, oil has begun to take on the trading characteristics of an equity, up more than $9 in two days. Did that fucker just report better than expected earnings or a 3:1 stock split? Maybe the FDA approved “oil” as a safe way to defeat cancer? One teaspoon of oil per day, and your cancer goes away.

As you can see, long energy/short everything else is still the best trade out there.

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Don’t Think, Just Buy

When markets get stupid like this, I quit thinking. It’s party time and everyone fucktard with an asshat is invited.

Luckily, I was heavily long energy stocks, going into today’s grindhouse. My losses were to the tune of 1.2%, thanks to the amazing decline in both [[FXP]] and [[SRS]]. Also, my short positions in [[POT]] and [[COWN]] added to my losses.

On the long side, I had “big dicked” gains in [[RIG]], [[PCZ]], [[FTK]], [[CTSH]], [[AAPL]], [[NOV]] and [[QTWW]].

The fascinating thing about today’s tape was that it was bullet proof to a $5+ upside move in crude and credit downgrades of [[ABK]] and [[MBI]]. In short, the bears ran for cover, ahead of tomorrow’s economic data. Which is funny, because the data is likely to be bad.

At any rate, almost every sector spiked, especially retail, energy and ag. Just yesterday, I was bitching about being too hedged and expressed my dismay with minor daily changes in my portfolios. Boy am I glad to be hedged today, indeed.

My game plan is fairly simple, yet succinct:

Wait for a “clown bounce” in the financials, then short them.

Avoid shorting commodity related names, despite their “dot commish” behavior.

Go long energy related names, with inpunity, because, as Guy Adami would say: “they’re cheap on a valuation basis.”

Buy more FXP, under $65.

Buy more SRS, under 80.

Sell some AAPL, above $200.

With the dollar strengthening, add to my Indian IT service plays, which include: CTSH, [[INFY]], [[SAY]], [[WIT]] and [[WNS]].

Never fuck with ethanol stocks again.

Off to coach a baseball game.

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Fly Buy: FTK

I bought 5,000 [[FTK]] @ $18.

Disclaimer: If you buy FTK because of this post, the next time you’re at Home Depot, a large piece of lumber will fall on your neck. And, you may lose money.

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