iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
22,016 Blog Posts

Watch Your Kitchen/Short Snap

I see many of you shitbags believe you can get away with making inflammatory remarks, while gloating about “awesome” or “fantastic” gains on subsequent short sales.

Just remember, you are here wasting time, reading some assholes blog, while I’m milking you for Monster Energy Soda money.

Odd no?

Plus, I know where you live and will have your kitchen cabinets removed, shortly.

With regards to the market:

Is losing vast sums of money the worst thing that can happen in life?

Answer: No

Being a spastic retard, like most of you, is far worse, regardless of fashionable bear market gains.

One more thing:

Those fuckers from Snap.com are flat out liars. You know the  company that provided those annoying little pop-up previews?

As far as I’m concerned, they’re either frauds or grossly inept. Either way, if you operate a blog, stay away from them.

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Kill Santa

I’m not doing this anymore.

You know, being the last bull in Rome, as Rome burns.

Towards the end of the day, I sold boatloads of stock, which included most of my XFML position. As you know, Ducati was right, again.

This is a worst case scenario for the bulls. There is no confidence; therefore, it makes sense to capitulate here.

If the bears are right, as I said before, we will be 20% lower from today’s closing prices. With that being said, don’t let your cost basis get in the way of making smart decisions.

Take a look at your portfolio and if you wouldn’t buy XYZ at these levels, with fresh cash, sell it twice now.

With my money, I bought more FXP.

Fuck China.

Also, I raised lots of cash and will be looking to drag Santa Claus out of his shitsled, by the beard, in order to club him to death, via short sales.

I will post my short list later.

All in all, “The Fly” got lit aflame today.

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Fly Buy: FXP

I bought 2,000 FXP @ $88.

Disclaimer: If you buy FXP because of this post, in your after life, you will be a stock broker. And, you may lose money.

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Bull vs. Bears

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LcnPpo0tV6M 450 300]

Nice knowing you.

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What’s Working Here

The market doesn’t deserve my money.

If you are one of the lucky ones (in cash), you’re better off getting “liquored up” in Vegas, playing the tables, than buying/selling stocks.

For those of you who are short: good job, may you fall into an idle manhole shortly.

Right now, I’m running some screens to identify where the money is going. Money managers are getting tossed around these days— and need safe havens.

Here is a short list of stocks that have been working:

ARD, BUCY, ENS, BOOM, MLNM, DE, DM, IVGN, FOSL, VRSN, RIG, TDG, GSF, CEL, PPDI, LAYN, HL, OSIP, RSTI, PBG, MIDD, WEC, GR, JNJ, CHD, CVD, CEG, D, CCI, DRS, AYE, MRK and THI.

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Queersickle

We had a great start to the holiday shopping season. Santa Claus is on the way. Stocks are cheap.

No one cares.

Instead, like jackasses, everyone is mesmerized with the subprime movie, starring C, WM, CFC and a host of others, while eating popcorn—wearing bullshit 3-d glasses.

I must be in some sort investor purgatory, where everything seems rather lukewarm—but gay.

Why not give in already and go short?

Answer: because everyone else is already doing that.

For the most part, I’ve made my living, rather successfully, betting against people like you. Quite honestly, as opposed to not-so-quite lying, I do not like being on the receiving end of the shit stick.

As for today’s trading:

VMW is getting the “homo-hammer of death.” Fuck the news: the stock is a complete waste of alphabet. To hell with EMC and the retards who invented VMW.

Utilities look great. Wow, big deal.

Let me run through some of my positions here:

XFML: Mercy bounce.

GRMN: I got one right!

FMCN: 15 more points would be nice.

GME: Not too bad.

HANS: Bucket shop cheap here.

AAPL, & RIMM: Separated at birth, now are the only stocks people buy.

BBY: Very good, considering.

LZ: 5 more points please.

KTEC: Sleeper stock.

GLF: 6 more points please.

GMXR: Worst energy stock “on the globe.”

FXI: Go ahead, bet against China, see where it gets you.

FXP: I bet against China, look where it got me.

LFT: I knew “Longtop Financial” was an ominous name. Fuckers.

JCG: The best of the worst.

RS: Shitsickle.

GD: Rock solid.

BWLD: Nightmare on fat fuck street.

CN: Insane trading stock, traded by mental patients.

GILD: I should have just kept buying this one.

MVIS: Queersickle.

VMI: The farmer is milking me.

AEO: Nonsensical.

CORS: My worst investment, ever.

In short, I’d rather play with fine silverware, in a random NYC subway track, than watch my screen.

Off I go.

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The Credit Card Guillotine Decouples Bears in Asia

Well, you bearshitters can moan and groan all you want; but the credit card guillotine is about to cut your fucking head off.

On the back of better-than-expected holiday sales, so far, Asian markets are sprinting at the open, with Seoul leading the pack, +2.6%.

My sense, barring another “shoe dropping,” U.S. markets will also decouple the heads of short sellers, in early trading, despite the subprime fodder.

Look for retail stocks to lead the way, with squeezes in M, KSS, JCP, AMZN, JCG, AEO, RL and GES.

UPDATE: Seoul now up 4.65%. Fuck you shorts, you’re dead.

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You’re Not a (Expletive Deleted) Genius

Danny nailed the “back of the dirty envelope” economist, nicely.

All of a sudden, everyone is a fucking macro-economist, with extensive field work in the fucktarded art of shorting stocks.

If 99% of the weak kneed investor class is bearish, I think it makes sense to take the other side of that trade, no?

I mean, some of you come here declaring “the next Great Depression is here.” Then, you proceed to explain how “cool” and “savory” you are for buying puts or “loading up short BIDU.”

Mark my words, the wheels of your shitmobile will get knocked off, shortly.

I’m not as old as some of you kidney stone recipients. But, I can attest to this market environment being “reverse 1999,” where all of a sudden everyone is a short selling machine.

You’ve got inverse ETF’s, OEX puts and “technical breakdowns” setting up to make you “Santa Claus money,” right?

Moreover, everyone on the street knows CFC, WM and BSC are going bankrupt—as if it already happened.

Amazing shit.

After all, the banks are a mess. The homies are dead. And the consumer is buried.

Right?

Until you read something like this, you thought you had it all figured out, didn’t you?

Prepare for swift decapitation, via credit card guillotine— fuckface.

“The Fly” shall relish your pending doom, as if it were some sort of real doom that was worth “relishing.”

Viz.

UPDATE: Internet sales up 22% from last year. Again, bearshitters, prepare for the “credit card figure four leg lock.”

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