18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
19,895 Blog Posts

Position Updates: XFML

No need to give an opinion.

Just know, today, after the close, the company will report earnings.

Meaning: there is a good probability the stock will get the shit kicked out of it.

The popular phrase “driving a car made of dynamite sticks to the sun” applies.

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Charts Are For Asshats

I know many of you “low-enders” love to look at squiggly lines and predict the future, by using your fucking ruler and #2 pencil.

However, deep down, you know as well as I, charts are for asshats–especially during corrections.

Meaning: everything, with the exception of select consumer staple stocks, like CLX, PG and UN, went down in a convoy. There was no distinction between crap or non-crap. It’s all crap.

Corrections are the ‘great equalizers.’ It sets everyone back to square one (some closer than others), giving you the opportunity to outperform your asshole friends– on the next leg up.

Don’t try to out think the market or get fucking fancy with seemingly ‘undervalued’ picks. Everything is cheap you stupid bastard.

That’s why it makes sense to burn your charting software to a cinder– and buy what works.

Prior to this recent nut cracking, GRMN, VMW, FXI, AAPL, RIMM, POT, MA, MON and GS worked.

My guess, on a bouncy bounce, they will work again.

The kicker, following the upcoming bounce, you may have to do a little research, in order to decide what stocks will lead the market higher– longer term.

We’ll cross that stupid fucking bridge when we get there.

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No, This Time We’re Really Going Higher


Hey, most stocks are bid up sharply this morning, as the bulls say “fuck it,” and give it the “ol’ college try.”

Stocks like VMW, RIMM and AAPL are running higher, following the best, yet bewildering, “fuck you, you’re dead longs” tape, year-to-date.

As you know, the geriatric fuckers who sell stocks short will likely attempt to cane “The Fly” to death, sometime late in the day, via “buttloads” of random short sales.

However, this time I’ll be ready for them, as I sharpen this here blade and set a few traps near usual “old fucker” killing zones (stair cases).


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There is no navigating this market, unless of course you are long banana stocks–like CQB.

While some of you would like to blame “The Fly” for this heart attack tape, blame yourselves– fuck faces.

As you know, “The Fly” was programmed to be bullish on U.S. equities. This fucktarded, dickless tape has caused his software to malfunction, resulting in untimely purchases of retarded stocks.

All day, leadership names got lit on fire. Big losses were abundant in all of the material, energy and tech stocks.

Intra-day, stocks like HANS, VMW and GOOG were big time recipients of the “homo-hammer” of death.

Naturally, everyone is anticipating a bounce. Past short squeezes have made me hesitant to sell into this tape, much to my chagrin.

One thing is perfectly crystal clear: stocks are for asshats.

However, aside from managing “ridiculously ugly/busy websites,” it is my job to navigate this shit.

In short, work just got a whole lot tougher.

NOTE: CLX and other recession proof stocks keep marching higher.

NOTE II: We appear to be somewhat doomed.

NOTE III: If I hear “there are more shoes to drop” one more time, I will throw my fucking tv out the window.

Unfortunately, developing…

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Fuck the Horsemen; We’re Going Higher

Trust me, being long RIMM, AAPL and other fun stocks, makes “The Fly” want to punch his trader/servant in the neck–a few dozen times.

However, understand what is going on, before making classic uneducated gambles.

Money managers are selling the high fliers, for a variety of reasons. You’ve got margin calls, redemption concerns and plain ol’ fashioned profit taking.

Understand something: your average money manager has the IQ of a small beetle. He knows nothing but price action, unable to decipher cheap from expensive, cool from Ducati.

Additionally, the hot tech money is finding a home in many beaten down sectors, especially retail.

The bottom line: should the nasdaq rally from here, do you really think it will leave RIMM, AAPL, GOOG, GRMN and VMW in the dust?


Right now, I am enjoying the bullish behavior of XFML, ahead of earnings tomorrow.

Also, assuming the oil fuckers rally again, UPL appears to be on sale.


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Chinese Stocks Getting the “Flying Guillotine”

It looks like the “Chinese lotto fun” has been postponed, indefinitely.

Aside from the spastic dice rolls, quality names are getting lit up, like a synagogue in Baghdad.

Chinese stocks receiving the “homo-hammer” of death, include: CHCG, CHINA, JASO, FMCN, CN, SOLF, STP, CHL, CHU, CTRP, CSR, CHME, KUN, BIDU, SOHU, EFUT, EJ, GA, CTDC, FFHL, YTEC, ACH, AOB, PWRD, GLDN and LFT.

The whole lot of them.

If you didn’t know, you can profit from Chinese misery, via FXP (double inverse China short).

However, before doing that, the question you have to ask yourself is: “Am I feeling lucky, punk?”

My best guess, China misery will be short lived, especially if we rally today.

NOTE: If I wasn’t busy eating sandwiches, I might take a shot at FMCN, CN and LFT (again!), down at these levels.

UPDATE: Market tanking. Get back in the nuclear bomb shelter.

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Death to ETFC; Market Rally Underway

I must admit, being a full service type of guy, I despise those filthy hatfuckers at ETFC.

Sure, they’ll let you do cheap trades, until those assholes file bankruptcy–leaving your bullshit brokerage accounts in escrow.

Look you, if you are stupid enough to have 7 figures in an E-Trade account, I strongly suggest taking it out, just in case.

However, it’s worth noting, the stock may bounce from here–especially on a short squeeze.

As a result of ETFC‘s asshattery, SCHW and AMTD are picking up the pieces, via stellar price action. After all, should ETFC die, those fuckers benefit.

As of now, the rally is being led by airlines, homies, retail and trannies.

If I was going to throw dice at a sector, for a trade, I’d look to retail, ahead of “credit card season.”

Within the group, I like JCG, SKX, COH and JWN.

Also, as “fat fucker day” arrives (Thanks Giving), food and beverage stocks may run.

There, I like WBD, WFMI, KR and HANS on a pullback.

If you are looking to play the restaurant sector, BWLD and MSSR look cheap.

Finally, the tech sector is not doing too well, with BIDU, RIMM and GOOG  in the red. My guess, investors are selling expensive names and going bargain shopping, which ironically is creating a bargain in tech.

Right here, I like FMCN, RIMM, VMW and LFT.

However, it’s worth mentioning, “The Fly” will not buy anything today. I bought lots of shit last week, in the midst of the “inferno of fun.” For now, I’ll be waiting for a short killing rally, while eating this here bowl of oatmeal.

NOTE: Ever since that LFT (Longtop Financial) shit came public, the market has been in the shit box. An ominous name, indeed.

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