iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,374 Blog Posts

Get Ready For Black Smoke

If you notice, I am purposely opting to avoid selling short, even though I think the market will trade lower. I am trying to remain focused here and not get caught up with the mixed emotions of being both long and short at the same time. For the day, I sold a little more, upping my cash position to about 45%—putting my current allocation at 45% cash, 45% equities and 10% treasuries.

The [[TLT]] trade is a very simple, low risk, bet. Essentially, it’s like cash, but better. If I hold it long enough, I will receive dividend payments. And, should the market get raped by zombies dressed in burlap, it will appreciate. Unlike past markets and trades, my current strategy revolves around lowering the beta, in order to preserve assets, so that I can buy stocks lower.

That’s the point.

As the European cow-fuckers trash their own currency, ours will appreciate, essentially making [[TLT]] a “safe haven.” I realize this is a 180 degree reversal of my previous prophecies. However, the future is always changing; therefore, I must change too.

Top picks
: [[TLT]] , [[DRR]]

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSjIRuNy7Bo 616 500]

Comments »

Fly Buy: TLT

I bought 20,000 [[TLT]] under $90.30.

Disclaimer: If you buy TLT because of this post, The Fed will raise rates tomorrow. And, you may lose money.

Comments »

Let it Marinate

There is no reason for me to blog today; yesterday’s final post is sufficient. However, being the charitable guy that I am, I’ve decided to blog again, even though you do not deserve it.

Just yesterday, I warned you of a pending correction. I told you to leap into the Treasury boat, as if it was filled with great whores and delicious mutton. Needless to say, you chose to not get involved.

Is that still the case?

I knew the market was heading lower, based upon a sublime harmony in mathematical precision aka The PPT. We have spent countless hours trying to get inside of the circuits of those dastardly trading robots. Let today’s move in [[TLT]] serve as proof that Senor Tropicana aka HORATIO CLAWHAMMER knows what the robots are thinking.

As an aside, I will be buying Brocade Communications Systems, Inc. [[BRCD]] on this dip. But, I will not buy any stocks, until the shadows near my favorite urinal quit using profanity. It really gets annoying. Trust me.

Here is the trade: long [[TLT]] , [[UUP]] , short euros, via [[DRR]] . Or, if you want to be aggressive, take a looksy at the 3x Treasury ETF, [[TMF]] .

Bottom line: This will be a mild correction. If you see it coming, try to avoid going down in lockstep with the broader indices, via utilizing some of the hedges or alternative investments mentioned above.

Comments »

Betting Against Dr. Fly is SHEER MADNESS

Very soon, large goats will consume your beaks, as you meddle around the business of superior men. There is a distinct smell of roasted coffee beans in the air and I do believe, if I might say so, they are the brains of none other JAKOB GINT aka Uncle Fucker. In no time at all, I shall saute his brains in my golden frying pan (oh, the irony, it’s too much), drenched in a nice chardonnay, by way of [[TLT]] melt-up.

Let me be clear, I still own Gammon Gold, Inc. [[GRS]] and U.S. Global Investors, Inc. [[GROW]] and I am not incredibly bearish on gold, despite my dire proclamations. However, it is written; therefore, it shall be so.

Most people are expecting yields to keep climbing, due to the important matter of fiat currency. After all, the banks are enjoying record spreads and life is generally good for those with money to lend and/or make egregious acquisitions. However, you forgot the answers, fuckface. The Federal Reserve has a buyer for their stupid treasuries and his name is “you.” By way of a market panic, or “flight to quality,” you will be buying treasuries soon enough, via 401k’s or through one of you money managers.

You’ll see. Soon enough you fuckers will be crammed into the funnel, trying to get the fuck out of stocks.

If you wanted to go balls to the wall, you would short oil, euros and go long dollars, treasuries. The old Fly would be in the FAZmobile right now, taking uppercuts to the scrotum. But, the new “reinvented Fly” is opting to play it safe instead, via low beta contrarian investments.

Always remember, I do not lose.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5c1LNaQKqqY 616 500]

Comments »

Just Probing

Let me clarify my new position, especially for some of you misfits.

My new 10% [[TLT]] position is a probe of sorts, as well as a hedge. Instead of selling short, my [[TLT]] position offers protection against a down-trending equity market, since it (TLT) ebbs to its (the market) flow. My downside is 2 points max. Should I lose more than 2 points, I will book the loss. In short, this is a VERY LOW BETA play; however, it is a better alternative to cash. Before you go out “imaginating” that I am wearing burlap shoes, getting ready to jump in the FAZmobile, remember I am still NET LONG. Like those CAPS, fuckface?

I want the market to rip higher, knocking out the teeth of shorts. I’m just exercising a bit of caution here, after a well deserved reprieve.

Top longs include Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , Nucor Corporation [[NUE]] , POSCO (ADR) [[PKX]] , SandRidge Energy Inc. [[SD]] , Jarden Corporation [[JAH]] and U.S. Global Investors, Inc. [[GROW]] . All in all, I am trying to avoid moving down in lock-step with the indices. If the market shoots higher, so be it. Instead of making a “boatload” of money, I will settle for a small pinto’s worth. To be honest, from time to time, money management gets boring. I like to change things up a bit, think outside the box.

Do unorthodox shit from time to time. Life smiles upon those who slaughter the sheep.

Comments »

FULL STEAM AHEAD!!

Just kidding. I just love to make up insane titles and get people all excited over nothing.

I sold some more Nucor Corporation [[NUE]] and completely eradicated my Vimpel-Communications (ADR) [[VIP]] position. During market uncertainty, the last thing I need is fucking retarded Russian stocks.

Oh, and I’ve been buying 1-2k share blocks of [[TLT]] all morning, under $89.30. I will buy it until I am blue in the face, or until I have my 10%.

Comments »

Hold Your Wigs

You nerdtrons are about to be blown away, by way of a very arduous March. Let’s call it “madness,” just for the sake of naming it something. I am fairly certain, in my head, that we are due for a dip. If your 2010 investment experience is following a path similar to mine (up +12% to -5% back to +9%), you have to take profits here, unless of course your brains are made from shit.

Sell the dollar weakness and eat a large bowl of chocolate ice cream— you fat fuckers. On a side note, I have no respect for fat folks.

With my money, I have decided to LOAD THE FUCK UP on treasuries, via [[TLT]] . Starting, right fucking now, I am allocating 10% of my assets into [[TLT]] , leaving my asset allocation model at 43% cash, 47% equities and 10% treasuries. Also, it’s worth noting, I do have corporate and municipal bond exposure, but that’s of no interest to any of you—since you are ham and eggers and you do not have respect for “the money.”

In short, I expect the market to pullback, as drunken leprechauns scurry about looking for pots filled with gold—near homosexual rainbows. However, at the moment, I do not have any plans to sell short—at least not yet.

Stay tuned.

Comments »

Prepare For Unprecedented Times

A final word on the non-important topic of people with opposable thumbs versus those with a medulla oblongata.

On a separate note, I am split between my conspiracy theories of the Fed orchestrating “forced demand” for treasuries and the obvious printing of “magic money.” I realize there is no middle ground and only one side will win. Despite the amount of money being tossed into flaming barrels of garbage, I cannot help but to think about the pending treasury auctions and how they will be received, 1 to 3 years out.

For the moment, I like cash and/or a pair trade between [[TLT]] and [[GLD]] . I just haven’t discovered the appropriate balance yet.

UPDATE: Over the weekend, I learned all there is to know about technical analysis. Enjoy the fruits of my labor.

[[TLT]]

tlt

Comments »

Organized Chaos

Despite today’s non-reaction, I believe the Fed is trying to funnel us fuckers into Treasuries, via shaking up the equity markets. Let’s be serious: there is no real inflation. The economy is still bleeding out jobs and most of the commodity push can be attributed to dollar weakness. The Fed wants you to sell stocks and roll into [[TLT]] . Let’s see how that pans out, over the next few weeks. With my money, I will chill the fuck out and wait for my kills. I sold a little more today, upping my cash position to 53%. I don’t have an interest to go short, just yet. However, I am intrigued by a [[TLT]] -gold pair trade.

Eat well and drink profusely.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qZwwyHvCbo 616 500]

UPDATE: New Wall Street 2 Trailer

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPCSAAtyLW8 616 500]

Comments »

Fly Sells: NUE, PBR

I sold out 25% of my Nucor Corporation [[NUE]] position, north of $44.70 and all of my Petroleo Brasileiro SA (ADR) [[PBR]] , north of $42.70.

Real trading, son. No training wheels.

Comments »