The Machines Will Buy Stuff For You

The amazing thing about this rally, this ongoing rally, is the amount of damage that is being done to the bears. Look, at this point, I fucking hate the market; but that’s only because it is not doing what I want it to do. Well, I need to get used to the fact that the market doesn’t give a shit about what I think. We are trading in some real high level bullshit now and there is nothing you or your stupid friends can do about it.

I am just so very fortunate that I wasn’t brave enough to short stocks a few weeks ago. Sure, I missed out on some nice melt ups. But, you have to admit, the people who are telling you to “just buy and go to sleep” are mentally ill. It’s almost as if they believe we should go back to all-time highs. Hell, what the fuck am I talking about? That’s exactly what these asshats think: we’re going back to all-time highs.

Do yourself a favor, don’t try to time the top with shorts. If you are nervous, go to cash and eat a sandwich. I am fairly certain that I will be shorting stocks, within a week or so. However, I will not do so without seeing downward momentum or sound advice from one of the shadows near my favorite urinal.

In short, God loves the New York Yankees and stocks. Betting against either has resulted in a lot of foreclosed homes.

Quick note: quit bitching about yields lifting off the floor. Considering how retarded this economy is, we are blessed with incredibly low rates. For those of you who believe rates are about to take off, you need to go fuck yourself with some sort of poisonous cactus. That shit isn’t happening, when you have double digit declines in commercial construction.

Once the big auctions are out of the way, yields will settle down and we can get back to the business of stock market manipulation.

As for the Greek bailout: what a joke. They need to cut spending by 25% or face default. They will not be able to grow out of this hole and any short term funding, from the EU or IMF, will only serve as a bandaid solution. Spain is next.

Step into the crevasse.

You little chinese hat wearing motherfuckers will feel the sharp end of my blade, soon enough. It’s not important that I make money, per se, in [[TLT]] . I want to explain something to you, very slowly, as if you were a retarded giraffe.

See, [[TLT]] is a holding cell for my millions. Instead of leaving it in a bullshit money market account, doing dick, I own lots of treasuries, spitting out a .38 divvy monthly. The fact that it went down a buck or so, over the last two weeks, is not relevant. I lose a buck on $3 stocks; this is simply child’s play. I endeavor to buy your margin call. I see the future and it looks grim for people of your ilk. You are chasing, mind you, purple dragons and yellow elephants, when in fact THEY DON’T EXIST.

The whole premise behind my TLT position is government control. I am relying on their ability to keep rates low, in order to keep the game going. That game I speak of pertains to securities manipulation on a grand scale, the largest ever known in the history of exchanges. If they are successful, we shall see lower stock prices, which in turn will motivate money managers to participate in treasury auctions—effectively keeping a lid on rates.

My [[VXX]] position is nothing more than a hedge against certain longs.

Back to my cup filled with black smoke.

As I sit here, in my car parked in neutral, I sip from a cup brimming with black smoke. Looking into my cup, I see little men, running around with Chinese hats on, praising the communist regime and all of their fuckery. I drink them up.

I see old fuckers in wheel chairs, hitting young kids with hard canes, because they were laughing too loud. I drink them up.

In my cup brimming with black smoke, I see piker brokers calling their clients, suggesting purchase of lunatic stocks that are up only 200% over the past 6 trading sessions. I drink them up.

I see stupid bloggers, who pretend to be meaningful, offer financial advice to space alien magicians. I drink them up too.

See folks, “The Fly” wins all the time, even during periods of neutrality. He might take a few weeks off of his winship space shuttle. But, ultimately, he wins and does so with swagger.

More on this later.

I sold 10,000 shares of nothing for break-even.

A job well done.

I bought 10,000 shares of nothing, at the market.

Disclaimer: If you buy nothing because of this post, the PH balance of your water will be altered. And, you may make or lose money.

Some choose to beg for the apocalypse and ride in FAZmobiles. They are called permabears. Others snort looooooong lines of coke and carry margin documents in their side pockets. They are called permabulls. I have invented an entirely new class of investor, not too hot or cold. Nothing quite excites or agitates me. I don’t snort coke and I try to avoid the apocalypse at all costs. I am PERMA-NEUTRAL.

That’s right folks. Buckle up your seat belts, for we are going nowhere. I have the car locked on “N” and I am just sort of sitting here, waiting for clouds to pass over me, since those fuckers might carry rain. As you know, I try to avoid rain at all costs.

Today I am enjoying wins in my equities, while enduring losses in bonds and Vix. However, do not fear, for I am not making or losing any money. I am doing exactly what I aim to do every single day: break even. I keep my stacks neatly preserved and try to avoid any action that can change the status quo.

More on this later.

The baby boomer generation aka “the worst generation in human history” is responsible for the mess we are in now. Those hippy bastards were too focused on fornicating to realize they done fucked up the country something awful, with all of their “stupidness” (thanks for the BOE teu!). Those motherfuckers invented drug abuse and subsequently, later on, invented credit default swaps—as well as number of other weapons of mass destruction that can precipitate Armageddon.

Fuck you and your tortoise rally, pal. Prices are coming lower, in the near term; and I, Senor Tropicana, will be able to buy your margin calls for 70 cents on the dollar.

Good day.

Concern over Federal deficits is rocking bonds, sending yields higher. [[TLT]] is getting smashed to the tune of a staggering 1.7%. Gold is NOT a safe investment, when it pertains to the “wall of worry.” Gold is a play on inflation, period. What we are seeing today is a seismic shift into dollars, as predicted. What I did not expect was the move up in yields. However, I am fairly confident today is an anomaly and should the market continue to weaken, funds will shift from cash to government debt.

Let me be clear: despite the tepid 45 point move to down downside (as of 3:00 et), there are some very troubling undercurrents with this tape, all stemming from the move up in the dollar.

On a lighter/sweeter note, [[SGG]] is up more than 5%. What an oddity.

In short, get ready for some downside “fuck you, you’re dead” action.