iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
19,906 Blog Posts

The Recession is Back

As per Cramer, foreign bankers are “fighting” and outbidding one another for the worthless assets of [[BSC]]. In addition, as per Cramer, during recessions the market goes straight up, with hardly any pullbacks. So, consider today’s 300 point drubbing an optical illusion. We’re really up a “couple hunge.”

Oh, don’t forget to buy another house, as per Cramer.

In all seriousness, something must be said about how irresponsible that fucker is, telling the unwashed to “buy it all,” because the recession is coming and “The Fed is our friend.”

I mean, who makes this shit up? Does he really believe what he says? Finally, since when is it “smart” or “prudent” to drive dynamite filled cars into the sun?

Look you, I’m not here to gloat. I’m here to tell you fuckers “The Fly’s” IQ is much greater than yours. Plus anyway, while you’re sleeping like little bitches, he is out in his time machine acquiring valuable information.

If you’re short [[DECK]] from the high 130’s, like me, you may want to take a little off the table here and redouble the [[SMN]] position. I anticipate [[MON]] will soon die an “unglorious” death.

Finally, it’s worth noting, “The Fly” has already consumed 3 Monster Energy Soda’s. Get in his way, he may rip the sleeves off your bullshit jacket.

Developing…

Cramer UPDATE: He is now short term bearish. Geez.

“My take, we can rally a bit down 300, but until we get oversold — and we are nowhere near it — you sell the rally. There’s no way the Fed can cut this week, so I suspect more pressure ahead, particularly on the commodity and financial names.”

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“I Say it’s Worth a Try”

By far, the funniest thing I’ve watched, year to date. It reminds me of Grandpa Fly. May God rest his soul.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxyAW2z4TTY 450 300]

Hat tip: Mdawsz

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Fly Buy: SMN

I bought 3,000 [[SMN]] @ $43.23.

Disclaimer: If you buy SMN because of this post, erroneously, the old KGB will target you as an enemy of the state. And, you may lose money.

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Tonight, Vote for “The Fly”

If he could make unearthly, even Godly, market calls, imagine what he could do in war. Hell, “The Fly” would conquer The Great Wall of China in three days, then spend the rest of the week throwing Monster Energy Soda’s at the rice farmers.

I’m sure by now, many of you naive true believers have come around to my way of thinking: the market is fucked in a sandbox.

The banks are a mockery. I spit on them.

It’s time to start selling my longs again. Today, I feel like selling tech. Perhaps I’ll get rid of that silly [[RIMM]] or [[AAPL]] I was foolishly buying. No need to worry, since my double inverse etf’s has me up 2.4% intra-day—spearheaded by the morons at [[LEH]].

Right away, with my money, I will be buying more [[SMN]].

Fuck the Banks NOTE: 10:32 Bond Insurer downgrades may have significant impact on banks, “a few” banks could be downgraded, according to S&P – Reuters

NOTE II: The early leaked ISM data was “God awful,” by the way.

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Wiz Khalifa: Say yeah

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clbFHMjVJXc&feature=PlayList&p=8AF18B710B3DB739&index=31 450 300]

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Keep Waiting

While it’s true, one day does not make a trend. It’s also true, last week’s short covering rally does not mean we’ve bottomed.

Last week, those fucking soup lines from “early January” magically morphed into high end Starbucks cafe’s, as poor became rich and the market had “bottomed.”

However, in the real world, where people are getting their houses snatched, financial institutions are eating wood. Capital spending is down and margins are being squeezed.

With my money, I will make sure the downside move is legit, prior to selling more of my long positions. Additionally, I want to remain short [[DECK]], [[LEH]], [[C]], [[BAC]] and [[WM]].

On the long side, again, I like [[AIZ]], [[CMO]] and [[CLX]].

Also, I have a floating position in [[NTRI]], hoping for the fat fuckers to “diet up,” sending the stock higher.

Finally, ahead of the Chinese holiday, expect to see ridiculous runs in China related names, as euphoria peaks. However, this is a perfect opportunity to fleece the fucking rice farmers of their coin, via buying [[FXP]], [[EEV]] and [[EFU]].

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Fuck the Banks, part 3!

“The Fly” is quite pleased to see [[WM]], [[LEH]], [[WB]], [[WFC]], [[ABK]], [[COF]] and [[MBI]] shit the shower.

Last week, the dumbest possible money was piling into banks, as if those fuckers were going to new all-time highs. Cramer was exclaiming, going into recessions, the market goes up in a straight line, with hardly any pullbacks.

In short, my head was spinning, thinking, “how could everyone be so gay”?

None of the above is true. In the past, recessions riddle investors with “fuck you, you’re dead” losses. With regards to timing: typically, the market bottoms out after unemployment reaches 6%—providing the recession is mild.

With unemployment at 4.9% and the economy slowing, you have to be out of your fucking mind to “go long and strong” up at these levels.

Again, without a doubt, I feel the market will trade 10-15% lower in 2008.

On the long side, right now, I like [[CLX]], [[CMO]] and [[AIZ]].

AIZ sells property insurance to banks taking possession of foreclosed homes.

Very nice (Borat accent).

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