GORILLA COCAINE RALLY

Sell zone averted. Back to handing out beat downs to your local burlap’d bearshitter.

As Europe deals with bad bond auctions, I am on the lookout for market deterioration. In order to get me to sell, I need to see fucked up price action in leadership stocks, as well as commodities. I might give gold, silver and oil a pass, due to mid-east chicanery.

And, I need to see both the bond markets and dollar firm up. In other words, I need to see Bernanke and his POMO ways take a breather, giving way to good olde fashioned deflationary vortex.

It’s a hard call, mainly because of seasonality. After all, we’re in fucking March, not September. According to the laws dictated by the seasonality Gods, we are supposed to trade up until May. However, we are dealing with a series of unforeseen events here that shit in the face of so called “seasonality Gods.”

In short, I’d love to see gorillas on cocaine ramp this market up, so that I can blast gangster rap music in my office, as I slap the shit out of low level employees with hot slices of pizza. But sometimes dreams do not come true, jackass. Welcome to the real world.

Speaking of which, Dykstra is back and crazier than ever. You’re all gonna suck his cock: the American ghandi.

My beta is higher than yours because I want to make more. Some of you are content with making 11% per annum; I’d jump off the Empire State building if I was subjected to that. I haven’t lost money in the market since, oh, 2004. Consistently, I bang out 50%+ gains, every year, as if that shit was normal. Today I lost more than 2.3%, lowering my boon to a touch over 10%. I haven’t been killing it yet because I don’t want to. I’m handicapping myself so that you fucking retards can catch up.

If you doubt what I am saying to you, tune in every day and watch me destroy this tape or any tape tossed my way.

In my personal account, I took a drubbing in OPEN today. But, that was offset by my dicerolls in DPTR (closed out), MPET and KAZ. It’s a crazy hedge. But I am betting that shit blows up, taking the shorts apart in ambulances, leading to a monster rip in OPEN. Or, the middle eastern cavemen fuck with our chocolate syrup, lending to fanatical speculation in micro cap oil stocks. Hence my position is correct.

Scary people with guns are running around in Libya shooting camels, while Americans snort cocaine off gasoline pump handles. FOX NEWS is running exclusive coverage on how the democratic party intends to kill and hide the remains of Jesus, should he ever decide to pop up again. MSNBC is covering a destitute and armless union worker, who had his arms cut off by the Governor of Wisconsin. Things are awry, as Saddam would always say when US warplanes unloaded their “smart bombs” on his future place of execution.

The market is getting hammered, as investors check the fuck out. No one cares about the economy or POMO anymore, just Libya and their stupid civil war. On Jupiter’s stone, may the House of Saud fall in a most heinous fashion, sending oil to $1,000 AND MORE.

It makes no sense for me to give advice, based upon something that is so volatile. However, I am not selling out of any of my positions, just yet. It’s alright to lose money, every so often. It’s good for the soul and makes a man out of you. So what your account was bigger on Friday. Quit bellyaching about the market and try to predict the next series of egregious events with Space Alien Magician (SAM) accuracy.

As for me, I remain long a boatload of shit, namely BORN, OPEN, APC, BZ, FLWS, MAS, ARO, CENX PSUN, as well as new spec plays KAZ, MPET and NGAS.

More lotto action.

I bought more MPET and initiated a new position in KAZ.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, Libya will be liberated by the second coming of George Washington and oil will plummet. And, you may lose money.

I took a one day 13% profit on DPTR.

Moving on.

Wow, this is some real end of days shit here. Middle East tensions are pushing oil, gold and silver to the limits. I can personally guarantee you some hedge fund, somewhere, is blowing the fuck up, short the trio. Everyone wants to bet against this trade, specifically because it is so extended. I cashed in my silver chips last week. However, I wasn’t stupid enough to short them into biblical upheaval in “God’s” turf. Having said that, I feel there is still upside potential for the oil space, even small lotto plays. As you know, I went long DPTR, MPET and NGAS on Friday. It’s worth noting, NGAS was acquired and DPTR is mostly nat gas. However, I’m banking on retards to throw money at anything oil related (it’s not a lot of money).

My bigger money is long APC.

Via The PPT, here are some of the strongest commodity related stocks under $30. Naturally, as soon as trading commences, this list will change.

No.	Ticker	Technical Score	Industry	Sector	1-month Return	1-week Return	Price
1	HERO	5.11	Oil & Gas Drilling & Exploration	BASIC MATERIALS	49.18	25.69	5.90
2	BRNC	4.96	Oil & Gas Drilling & Exploration	BASIC MATERIALS	15.13	8.83	9.66
3	LEI	4.68	Independent Oil & Gas	BASIC MATERIALS	72.40	84.06	4.18
4	WNR	4.46	Oil & Gas Refining & Marketing	BASIC MATERIALS	17.17	-4.45	16.72
5	FXEN	4.46	Oil & Gas Drilling & Exploration	BASIC MATERIALS	9.72	9.16	11.25
6	DEJ	4.44	Oil & Gas Drilling & Exploration	BASIC MATERIALS			0.48
7	CVI	4.36	Oil & Gas Refining & Marketing	BASIC MATERIALS	8.28	-1.31	20.63
8	BZ	4.11	Synthetics	BASIC MATERIALS	-3.97	-0.91	9.30
9	NOA	4.11	Oil & Gas Equipment & Services	BASIC MATERIALS	18.64	1.41	13.80
10	ZINC	4.06	Industrial Metals & Minerals	BASIC MATERIALS	28.37	17.71	17.32
11	PGH	4.01	Oil & Gas Drilling & Exploration	BASIC MATERIALS	1.65	2.70	13.17
12	STO	4.01	Major Integrated Oil & Gas	BASIC MATERIALS	4.19	3.22	27.66
13	KBX	4.00	Gold	BASIC MATERIALS	22.58	3.40	1.73
14	ICO	3.99	Industrial Metals & Minerals	BASIC MATERIALS	6.98	8.26	10.46
15	TPLM	3.98	Independent Oil & Gas	BASIC MATERIALS	2.26	6.82	9.15

As humans, you have limitations, specifically with retention of information. Back in the olde [sic] days, men in silk ties would pay others for insider information, hoping to make out on the next takeover play. Although that practice is still alive and well, it’s really not necessary any longer. Things are moving so fast that to risk your freedom and career over a singular event is outright ludicrous.

I’ve always been obsessed with leveraging information. I believe in the notion that what one can do, 10,000 can do 10,000x better. So, with regards to stocks, it’s a no brainer to harness the power of collective thinking and try to make money from it. That was the original mission statement for The PPT.

The current version of PPT is able to decipher both fundamental and technical data, cross reference dozens of different data points, and give the user a list of stocks to choose from. Also, we are able to analyze the historical accuracy of the algorithm, per stock, to let the user know when he should be paying attention or playing a game of frisbee with the dog. Full transparency. Some stocks fall through the cracks, other stocks are owned by The PPT, with regards to when to buy and sell.

In addition to that, we have company profile search tools, alongside user generated note searches, that enable the user to quickly identify stocks based on description (i.e., “fat”, “cancer”, “coffee”).

In the next iteration of The PPT, I endeavor to expand the algorithm to analyze investor behavior, all using information available on the internet. For example: I want to analyze correlations between certain keywords and price action. Additionally, I intend to develop tools that will quickly analyze the price action of XYZ, with volume, on an intra-day level, in order to identify high percentage day trades.

None of what I am saying is ground breaking news or innovative beyond belief. The big firms have been using software like this for awhile. However, to my knowledge, it’s never been offered, affordably, to small plebs surfing the web. I am always interested in leveling the playing field.

If you are serious about trading or investing, you cannot do it alone, unless of course you have a fail proof system. This is not a pitch for my stuff: these are my beliefs. If you want to broaden your horizon to ideas and methods that can increase your chances of success, exponentially, you need to leverage the flow of information in your favor.

I have to run along for the remainder of the day. Something came up.

I must admit two things to you right now.

1. Sometimes it pays to have a head made from cement. Although I sold AG higher than where it’s trading now, today’s move in precious is very impressive.

2. Stocks are for asshats, once again.

Yesterday’s joyous triumph, dancing on the headstones of the bears, is all but lost. Homosexual investors (bears) are sashaying in and out of short positions today, with a good deal of flair. You must admit, it’s quite fashionable to be a bear. You get to say all sorts of outlandish things at the cocktail party, while sipping on apple martinis.

As for me, I offer nothing in return for your obedience. I am not wavering and do not give a shit about today’s tape. I have other shit on my mind. Hell, the market could lose 99% today and I’d flick cigar ashes at it, as if money was made from paper.

See you faggots later.

Top pick: DPTR

UPDATE: I played more lotto, buying 10,000 MPET $2.79ish and NGAS at .59ish.

Total Lotto here, with oil sprinting.

I bought 10,000, personal, $1.07ish.