Fuck You Standard and Poor’s

One day removed from S&P’s dire warnings over the United States’ credit quality, stocks ripped higher, as Ben Bernanke did lines of home grown blow off of his favorite printing press.

I recovered all of yesterday’s losses, gaining more than 2%, on the backs of WNR, MWW, X and OXY.

My refinery stocks are “Costanza trading” by responding inverse to the crack spreads. That makes no sense, whatsoever. But I will not complain. The important thing to note here is the market spit in the face of low end credit analysts at Standard and Poor’s. There is nothing imminent about their warnings. Therefore, it’s business as usual, with POMO and QE3 on the front burner.

Basic material stocks are in play here, as investors hedge against the demise of the dollar. There is no better sector to have my money than basic materials. Everything else is simply too hard.

Going into earnings season, look for outrageous results from a slew, mind you, of oil and gas companies. One of my favorites is OXY, so there.

Consolidating all of my thoughts into one sentence, I will say this to you: bet against refiners and lose your fucking house, car, and wife— as she will leave your ugly broke ass for someone with coin.

I added to my CVI position.

Disclaimer: If you buy CVI because of this post, you will suffer from erectile dysfunction for the rest of your life. And, you may lose money.

In light of the recent string of government poker website seizures,with the assistance of certain shadowy figures, I’ve concocted a 5 part plan to ELIMINATE the national debt.

Part 1:
SEIZE ALL ASSETS OF OIL COMPANIES. Their money will be put to great use in the PUBLIC sector.
Part 2:
SEIZE ALL ASSETS OF THE INVESTMENT BANKS, LARGE AND SMALL. Their criminal ways have come to an end.
Part 3:
SEIZE ALL ASSETS OF DOMESTIC COMPANIES DOING BUSINESS IN CHINA. The Chinese are evil, communist bastards. Can you smell the irony?
Part 4:
SEIZE ALL CASH RESERVES OF SLIMY TECH COMPANIES. Their cash is now our cash.
Part 5:
RAISE TAXES ON THE RICH. From here on, the “rich” will be defined as anyone who owns a car or a bicycle.

This message was paid for by IVAN STALIN, Great, Great Grandson of that Russian fucker who fucked up the Germans.

If I read one more comment about “how gay the WNR is acting”, the comment thread will be disabled forever. It will not be disabled for a few hours, like on other pussified blogs. I will take that shit off for the rest of your natural and supernatural lives. There is real money at play here, not some bullshit 4-5 fig Zeeco account. I don’t trade for fun or to learn. I do this shit professionally, and with a great deal of honour.

Early going the market looked great; now it’s just milquetoast. Letter X is rebounding nicely, off of STLD numbers. And, MWW is up sharply, based on random mutual fund dollars landing on the green part of the wheel of fortune, at some idiot shop in Boston.

With letter X, I was going to cut my losses if it went down today, despite my beliefs that the stock is ridiculously cheap. I want to limit my downside to about 10%, if possible.

Crack spreads are sharply lower and the WTI-Brent crude spread is tightening; but refiners are showing decent strength, sans ALJ and CVI. Frankly, the correlation between spreads and share price has disconnected in recent days, so I am not surprised.

The next 2 hours of trade will be very important in order to establish a tone. Watch out for those fucking murder holes.

I got my cocaine trees blossoming in the backyard and single malt scotch flowing in the fountain, like water. I have my stocks displayed on a fucking jumbo screen, as if I was watching the fucking super bowl. Unfortunately, we are setting up for a May rape, just like last year. Naturally, whenever the market comes down, you little pigmy motherfuckers come out from the wood-works to eschew bitter nonsense. Check this out: I would rip your mouth from your jawbone if you said half of the shit that you write in the comments section here to my face.

I am awfully close to raising cash via quick sales. The upside to having concentrated positions is my ability to go to cash at a drop of a hat.

My advice to you is simple. Set aside your refined cocaine and think about worst case scenarios. If your portfolio cannot withstand a 25% draw-dawn, lighten up. As for me, I am sticking with some of my core holdings for the duration. The non-essential shit are subject to extreme prejudice and sale in between trips to the urinal.

The market has a certain stench to it, like garbage mixed with pungent cinnamon potpourri. The whole U.S. credit negative thing is a joke. However, it serves as an excuse to sell stocks. Couple that with the absolute chaos reverberating around the world, there is a chance for massive downside. Once again, I spit on massive downside, until I see it happen with me very own blue eyes.

Into early European trade, “The Fly” will be chain drinking cups of coffee, brushing his teeth, then chain drinking more coffee, courtesy of Colgate and Green Mountain Coffee.

If the price of gold went up 50% over a 1 week time span, would you have an interest in buying gold stocks? Similarly, if the price of oil went to $170 by May, would you be interested in oil stocks? Lastly, if SBUX was able to raise prices by 50% on their coffee, without seeing demand destruction, might you be interested in a small purchase of said shares?

Well, it’s not exactly that simple with the refiners, but almost. The profit margins, via crack spreads, have blown out to the upside and no one is paying attention. Spreads are up another 3.5% today, now trading above $28, up a staggering 100%+ year to date. At the same time, gasoline demand is on fire, with draws at 5 year highs. Naturally, it takes time for people to come around to a story, especially with a sector that is so tough to gauge. However, it is my belief that after earnings are announced, you will begin to see a titanic shift in the way these companies are valued. I may end up being woefully wrong. But that’s what makes a market. Go ahead, fuck face, bet against me.

For the day, thanks to stocks like MWW, WNR and ALJ, I lost a staggering 2.5%. I care not to discuss my losses with the likes of you, or offer any advice. It is what it is and it is fucking stupid.

The idiots from Nigeria are killing each other again, mainly over fake elections and Gods. I warned you a few weeks ago that the morons from Africa would get jealous of the other morons from Africa (Libya) and start lighting oil fields on fire. The Nigerian rebels love to do rebellious shit whenever people least expect it, sort of like the movie Mars Attacks.

Unfortunately, I do not know anyone from Nigeria, with exception to several rich prince’s in need of IMMEDIATE HELP, via email. However, using my larger than life brain, I can surmise shorting oil here might be a bad idea, with Nigeria going full retard, post elections.

According to The PPT, as of now, just 9.42% of the 3,888 equities followed are up for the day. Essentially, this is a 90% down day and people are clamoring for safe harbor. Incidentally, this is the 5th time the market has endured an 85%+ down day in 2011.

How did the others pan out?

1/19/11: 15.71% up, SPY closed at $127.70

Three trading days later: SPY closed at $128.54

1/28/11: 13.6% up, SPY closed at $127.17

Three trading days later: SPY closed at $130.49

2/22/11: 11.19% up, SPY closed at $131.26

Three trading days later: SPY closed at $131.76

3/10/11: 9.97% up, SPY closed at $129.38

Three trading days later, SPY closed at $128

As you can see, 3 of the last 4 times the market traded up, following an 85% down day, in 2011. In all fairness to the bearshitter robed in burlap, big down days, typically, are a warning sign of ominous shit to come. In the past, when the marker reversed lower on heavy volume, that encouraged billionaire, low IQ, managers to raise cash. However, even since the Federal Reserve started snorting home grown cocaine, sell offs are nothing more than mere way-stations to higher prices. You do not have to agree with this fact, nor do I. It just happens and I am simply pointing it out for you to chew on and shit out.

Most of you have goat brains and cannot see TLT diverging from the idiotic call by S&P. There are all sorts of counter-trend signals popping up, from dollars to treasuries to munis to gold. Do not let the news be your guide. Be like the fruit loops guy with the fucked up nose and smell the cocaine. Personally, as opposed to my opinion but not really me, I don’t need to smell the cocaine, since I help manufacture it, via large equity buy orders. You retail fuckers are subject to the whims and machinations of people like me. Not me, per se, but you get my drift.

It’s also worth noting, The PPT closed at 3.00 on Friday. It appears the algorithim is now responding to 3.00 + closes. And, as you read this gospel, both SKF and FAZ are flagged OVERBOUGHT. The PPT has been 75-80% accurate in calling tops in both FAZ and SKF. We shall see how this pans out and we shall do so with extreme vigilance, while sipping on single malt scotch!

So the guys who were complicit with the entire credit crisis and subsequent collapse, via rating junk as shit CDO’s AAA, are now finding religion by warning the United States may be subject to a credit downgrade?!? Although I agree with them, I do not believe they should have a say at all. As a matter of fact, I believe they should lose their authority to opine on the credit quality of sovereign debt since they suck so bad. It’s not like they made a few mistakes. They nearly destroyed the entire fucking world with their AAA rating bullshit. Now, after everything is to hell in a hand basket, partly thanks to them, they threaten to downgrade our sovereign debt? Something doesn’t smell right.

If I was writing a book of fantasy, pure fiction, I could not make up a more sinister plot to overthrow the U.S. government than the evil shit flowing out of S&P. Who needs conventional warfare when you could simply choke off the liquidity of a nation vis a vis scare tactics?

Ten years ago, they said it was “safe as shit” for investors to buy CDO’s, knowing full well they were garbage. Any credit analyst worth his salt could tell you inside of 5 minutes they were not AAA rated paper, even though they were. So, ten years ago, CDO’s were great. Then, the housing market collapsed and the banks got fucked for holding all of that paper. As a result, many went out of business, but all tightened up and froze lending activities. The result was a doubling of national unemployment, if not more. Since then, the Federal Reserve has been forced to print new money, in order to stave off deflation. They are purposely devaluing the dollar to help our exporters and create the illusion of economic activity. Out of nowhere enters S&P saying “fuck that shit. Your national debt is fucked due to your binging out on CDO’s. We’re gonna slash you guys and destroy the country.”

I know I am jaded; but they should not have a say at all.

The result: stocks are plunging, old school style, now down nearly 200. EDZ, TZA and other inverse ETF’s are off to the races and my stocks are getting S&P’d. My refineries are not doing too bad, all things considered. If people took the time to look, crack spreads are up more than 2%. That’s right folks, when crude drops more than gasoline, that’s good for refiners. Nonetheless, I am interested to see how the tape plays out. We could start to see a “buy the dip” mentality creep back in or “holy shit, OMG, we’re fucked” trading action infect the minds of over-coked, lazy ass money managers.

I am happy to report, our auxiliary offices in Ulaanbaatar have fended off “assholish” attacks from our Asian steppe enemies. It should come as no surprise: those who were captured have been executed via pinless hand grenades tossed into enemy container bins aka “fag-boxes.” At this time, they also hit us with various low end cyber attacks, which were again fended off and eliminated. As a result, we are burning the corpses of those captured and killed. Hence, if you see black smoke emanating from the chimney of some non-descript castle, you will know why.

Regarding the market: I expect to see my refinery stocks appreciate a great deal this week, coinciding with my monthly general construction expenditures. Stocks like CVI, ALJ and WNR will offset any and all expenses. Also, as the retards in NATO sit around paying RTN “Bernanke-Bucks” via launching “idiot-bombs” that do nothing, the spread between Brent and WTI crude will widen. This is a major boon for domestic refiners. Blah, blah, blah, blah. You never listen.

Coming soon, how to get rich while spending all sorts of money on senseless shit.

Coming now, for PPT subs only, a 1 week Free Trial to the best trading room service in the world, possibly the universe: 12631. Christmas come early for you fuckers, or maybe Passover/Easter.