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Mr. Orwell Would Like to School You About a Cup of Tea

This essay written by George Orwell should be read and absorbed by all. It holds the secrets of life, especially with regards to the art of proper tea making.

If you look up ‘tea’ in the first cookery book that comes to hand you will probably find that it is unmentioned; or at most you will find a few lines of sketchy instructions which give no ruling on several of the most important points.

This is curious, not only because tea is one of the main stays of civilization in this country, as well as in Eire, Australia and New Zealand, but because the best manner of making it is the subject of violent disputes.

When I look through my own recipe for the perfect cup of tea, I find no fewer than eleven outstanding points. On perhaps two of them there would be pretty general agreement, but at least four others are acutely controversial. Here are my own eleven rules, every one of which I regard as golden:

First of all, one should use Indian or Ceylonese tea. China tea has virtues which are not to be despised nowadays — it is economical, and one can drink it without milk — but there is not much stimulation in it. One does not feel wiser, braver or more optimistic after drinking it. Anyone who has used that comforting phrase ‘a nice cup of tea’ invariably means Indian tea.

Secondly, tea should be made in small quantities — that is, in a teapot. Tea out of an urn is always tasteless, while army tea, made in a cauldron, tastes of grease and whitewash. The teapot should be made of china or earthenware. Silver or Britanniaware teapots produce inferior tea and enamel pots are worse; though curiously enough a pewter teapot (a rarity nowadays) is not so bad.

Thirdly, the pot should be warmed beforehand. This is better done by placing it on the hob than by the usual method of swilling it out with hot water.

Fourthly, the tea should be strong. For a pot holding a quart, if you are going to fill it nearly to the brim, six heaped teaspoons would be about right. In a time of rationing, this is not an idea that can be realized on every day of the week, but I maintain that one strong cup of tea is better than twenty weak ones. All true tea lovers not only like their tea strong, but like it a little stronger with each year that passes — a fact which is recognized in the extra ration issued to old-age pensioners.

Fifthly, the tea should be put straight into the pot. No strainers, muslin bags or other devices to imprison the tea. In some countries teapots are fitted with little dangling baskets under the spout to catch the stray leaves, which are supposed to be harmful. Actually one can swallow tea-leaves in considerable quantities without ill effect, and if the tea is not loose in the pot it never infuses properly.

Sixthly, one should take the teapot to the kettle and not the other way about. The water should be actually boiling at the moment of impact, which means that one should keep it on the flame while one pours. Some people add that one should only use water that has been freshly brought to the boil, but I have never noticed that it makes any difference.

Seventhly, after making the tea, one should stir it, or better, give the pot a good shake, afterwards allowing the leaves to settle.

Eighthly, one should drink out of a good breakfast cup — that is, the cylindrical type of cup, not the flat, shallow type. The breakfast cup holds more, and with the other kind one’s tea is always half cold before one has well started on it.

Ninthly, one should pour the cream off the milk before using it for tea. Milk that is too creamy always gives tea a sickly taste.

Tenthly, one should pour tea into the cup first. This is one of the most controversial points of all; indeed in every family in Britain there are probably two schools of thought on the subject. The milk-first school can bring forward some fairly strong arguments, but I maintain that my own argument is unanswerable. This is that, by putting the tea in first and stirring as one pours, one can exactly regulate the amount of milk whereas one is liable to put in too much milk if one does it the other way round.

Lastly, tea — unless one is drinking it in the Russian style — should be drunk without sugar. I know very well that I am in a minority here. But still, how can you call yourself a true tealover if you destroy the flavour of your tea by putting sugar in it? It would be equally reasonable to put in pepper or salt. Tea is meant to be bitter, just as beer is meant to be bitter. If you sweeten it, you are no longer tasting the tea, you are merely tasting the sugar; you could make a very similar drink by dissolving sugar in plain hot water.

Some people would answer that they don’t like tea in itself, that they only drink it in order to be warmed and stimulated, and they need sugar to take the taste away. To those misguided people I would say: Try drinking tea without sugar for, say, a fortnight and it is very unlikely that you will ever want to ruin your tea by sweetening it again.

These are not the only controversial points to arise in connexion with tea drinking, but they are sufficient to show how subtilized the whole business has become. There is also the mysterious social etiquette surrounding the teapot (why is it considered vulgar to drink out of your saucer, for instance?) and much might be written about the subsidiary uses of tealeaves, such as telling fortunes, predicting the arrival of visitors, feeding rabbits, healing burns and sweeping the carpet. It is worth paying attention to such details as warming the pot and using water that is really boiling, so as to make quite sure of wringing out of one’s ration the twenty good, strong cups of that two ounces, properly handled, ought to represent.

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Drinking Good Wine to Wash the Pain Away

I can’t remember being so mad at the market, as I am now. I haven’t been ignoring iBankCoin today. Instead, I left the office in favor of seething and snarking at people in the streets.

I’m not interested in rehashing the bearish porn-shit that you’ve been seeing, hearing and reading all day. Fuck those people. Instead, I wanted to inform you that Trader Joe’s has the best 1,000 day old gouda cheese in existence. I strongly suggest getting on your organic bicycle to buy some. Pair it with a nice Cab Franc. Be sure to make sure it is a 92+ rated wine, else you are simply drinking shit.

Sometimes it’s important to remember life exists outside of the stock market. Try to enjoy it.

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All Hope Is Lost

I’ve been in this business for a long time. My career has been riddled with one stock market calamity after another. I have never seen pessimism like I am seeing today. This is, by far, the most doom and gloom environment since I’ve been managing money, even worse than 2008. The price action is not nearly as bad as 2008, but the sentiment is.

This morning Cramer and Faber all but guaranteed the EFSF would not be used to bail out Europe and that in no way would it be leveraged. Moreover, Cramer said we need to go back to the September lows and that Europe was going to collapse and nationalize all of its banks. Even worse, he suggested they would crush bond holders of bank debt too. David Faber chimed in and said Greece was on the verge of an unorganized default of more than $500 billion in debt.

As I watched this fucking horseshit, I was reminded of getting shaken out of my VXX position a few weeks ago, thanks to the cocksuckers on CNBC (the same network that is now calling for collapse) sucking the dicks of the Europeans–promoting the EFSF as a vehicle that could save the planet. Let me make this clear: CNBC said two weeks ago the EFSF was being levered to $1.4 trillion and said we were off to the races. Now they are saying the opposite.

Let me make a cogent point to all of you: I am not upset at CNBC for giving me bad advice. I don’t accept financial advice from anyone, so it’s a moot point. Clearly, this is a network that cannot be trusted. They lack integrity and seem only interested in goosing viewership through sensationalistic stories to support their ad revenue. It’s no surprise that decent people like Dylan Ratigan, Eric “the oil barrel” Bolling and Erin Burnett left for other pastures.

Look, this is an incredibly hard tape. My mood swings are at an all-time high and I am driving my wife crazy. Whenever the market goes against my positions I threaten to quit the business and live out the rest of my life at Puma Punku. I don’t give a shit about a seven figure income and talking to important people about the market. Those people can go fuck themselves. The minute the market starts to bore me, I am quitting. I will wire client funds back and close this shit down for good.

The way I see it, I am too young to be so upset over things that I have no control over. The markets are blatantly manipulated, helped by nefarious people in the media like CNBC. My true passion is to build great financial products, like The PPT. I have a thousand ideas swirling around in my head for future products, one of which is going to be launched soon. It’s a new website and you will love it.

At any rate, I’ve turned off my monitor and have opted to just roll with the punches, betting that Cramer and Faber have it wrong again.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVDNtvPX8Gc 603 500]

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The PPT Would Like to Have a Word

(note: this post was going to be posted inside PPT blog. However, considering how bad today was, I felt everyone could use a little information)

The PPT is not spitting out anything too resounding, but its definitely supporting an oversold environment. Stocks like ADBE, DIOD, YUM, DSW, BIDU, CMG, amongst over 100 others, are being flagged as OVERSOLD on our 12 month algorithms, accuracy north of 70%.

Some notable oversold ETF’s are: DBP, GLTR, CORN and DBS.

If you are using the OVERSOLD algos and expect instant profits, you are using them wrong.

Look at DBP, for example. It was flagged OS yesterday and dropped 3%+ today. But looking at the holding periods. Over 1 day, accuracy is slightly over 50% for a 0.24% avg return. If you bought and held for 5 days, based on PPT OS scores, accuracy is around 75% for an avg return of 2.6%. Over a 10 day period, the accuracy reigns supreme at 92% for an avg return of 5%. With DBS, The PPT has it OVERSOLD on all algorithms, 3,6,12 and historical with flawless accuracy.

However, like a baseball player on a 40 game hitting streak, eventually, everyone gets a turn at losing–even PPT.

DRV, 3x short real estate ETF, is OVERBOUGHT right now, indicating a sell for the fucktarded ETF. It’s overheated.

Here is the track record for DRV:

On 3 mo Algo:
Just 50% accuracy, with only 2 signals.

On 6 mo Algo:
Down 75% of time on 4 signals, avg loss of 7% over 7 days.

On 12 mo Algo:
Down 82% of time on 11 signals, avg loss of 10.6% over 5 days.

On historical Algo:
Down 74% of time on 23 signals, avg loss of 5.3% over 5 days.

This is a very reliable trade, in my opinion. The other side of the DRV wrecking ball is DRN. Incidentally, it is NOT OVERSOLD just yet, highlighting the complexities of the retarded nature of 3x ETF’s. Right now the tech score is 1.79. It needs to be 1.17 or lower to be OVERSOLD. The accuracy is nothing short of sublime.

On 12 mo Algo:
Up 93% of the time over 1 day on 14 signals for an avg gain of 3.85%.

It’s worth noting, many of the big ETF’s are not OS or OB. Despite today’s sharp sell off, we could see more downside before we bounce. This of course coincides nicely with the deadline to pass some sort of budget in Congress at midnight, on this coming Monday.

Bottom line: my computer brain is suggesting to avoid adding to shorts and start covering them. The dip buying bonanza is very close to ripping heads off again. My best guess, we get a fierce rally within 5 business days.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ev-h4F-nZQg

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DEATH TRADE

I’m sick of running. The whole year I’ve been dodging bullets, on the short and long side. I’ve been warning myself for months that this market is going lower. I’ve said it here on numerous occasions that an S&P level of 700 was plausible in a recessionary environment. The crisis in Europe has me fatigued to the point of capitulation. How long am I supposed to deal with this fucking bullshit? It’s the same story over and over again.

I hope the fuckers from JEF, MS and GS burn in hell. I’d like nothing more than to read the morning paper and see their share prices at zero. Misery loves company and right now I am overflowing with it. As fate would have it, the two places that I felt were immune to Europe, gold and refiners, are the biggest losers. Thank the devil I sold out of DK yesterday; but I still own some WNR. Silver is down a staggering 7% today. That is nothing short of a calamity. These things happen when markets are in disarray.

My intra-day losses are approaching 4% now. This is clearly a deeply disturbing day for me. I’ve worked real hard, fighting tooth and nail, to avoid getting fucked this year. I’ve been playing defense, keenly avoiding one blow up after another. Remember, I sold 90% of my WNR position north of $17. But now I feel a certain sense of finality with this move lower. It’s different.

Prior to the inane 1,200 point melt up that fucked me in VXX, TLT and short EXH, I had a very cogent strategy. It was based around the idea that Europe could not fix their problem and US treasuries would offer safe haven. As you can see, I was right. But being right doesn’t mean dick. If you’re not making money on your ideas, you’re wasting your time. So I don’t think about it.

Like many others, I too was shaken out of my bearish positions, thinking the Europeans were back in control. Sadly, it was just another dickfaced lie, purported by fancy men in tight pants. There is no bailout. It’s all a fucking rouse and I was suckered into a false sense of optimism. Words cannot describe how angry I am at myself right now, for being exposed and vulnerable to market forces.

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Pikers Paradise

Are you interested in big gains? Sorry, you’re gonna have to settle for 3-5% two day returns before sharp trend reversals transform them into 5% losses. That’s been my issue for weeks, small gains turning into small losses. I cut them out because I don’t want them to metastasize.

Case in point: futures were down about 100 earlier this morning, but now they are up. You have been fucked, Mr. FAZ ride this shit down to zero like a bear market hero. You are a child.

All of a sudden, the drug cartel of Mexico is a safe haven. You have to be fucking kidding me, right?

But, but, but, Mexican 10 year yields are 6.34%.

In other news, yields in Denmark, Finland, Czech Republic, Hungary, Poland and Austria have been on the rise this week. They’ve been out of the conversation. It’s always nice to have new guests. I deem them to be rather interesting.

The most interesting new guest of them all is Columbia! Their yields have doubled in recent months to about 8%. The cocaine trade is quite the volatile one.

At any rate, the NYPD is going to club the shit out of the dirty bastards at Occupy Wall Street. They were expecting 30,000 to protest, yet only 400 are there now. Idiots.

In short, take your quick 2% gains and run for the hills.

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THE PIPELINE HAS BEEN REVERSED

Enbridge: go fuck yourself.

What sort of Alice in Wonderland shit is this? The amount of oil stockpiled at Cushing is ridiculous, thanks to the tar sands at Alberta, Canada. This oil, alongside the shit in West Texas that is WITHOUT PIPELINE support, is only part of the reason why Brent blew out versus WTI by $30 per barrel. Its been shrunk to $9 on glorious reversals of fortune.

Last week 321 crack spreads started to get crushed on little to no news. Obviously there were some jackass Senators out there who were making directional bets, privy to the pending news of “pipeline reversal.”

Here’s the news, just in case you missed it.

So all we needed to do was “reverse the pipeline” to get WTI higher? Color me cynical, but go fuck yourself. The infrastructure that built the refiner story isn’t solely based around the “pipeline flow.” It’s about NOT HAVING ANY COCKSUCKING pipelines– AT ALL– in the Eagle Ford shale. Fuckers whip Mexicans to carry those barrels on their backs to the rail-yard.

I wonder if they could reverse some natural gas pipeline to make it more expensive. Or, how about this: let’s reverse the Italian CDS pipeline, so it goes lower and people won’t bug the fuck out over Unicredit’s eventual bankruptcy. Better yet, let’s “reverse the pipeline” on America’s brain drain. Yeah, instead of American Dads living vicariously through their idiot kids, with futile attempts to raise the next Payton Manning, they will sit them down to read a book. As you obsess over the basketball lockout, your country is being stolen from you.

Today our national debt hit $15 trillion, officially eclipsing the 100% debt/GDP ratio–a 49% increase since 0bama was elected in 2008. Our borrowing rates are at record lows. The debt is easily financed because America is the standard. However, it’s obvious to anyone but the dicksuckers in Congress, this path will lead to the destruction of the economy. But, feel better, because by the time we go under, the world will be a smoldering mess. The fall of the great American empire will be a giant vortex, sucking the entire world into its center. When we come out on the other end, our aircraft carriers will be docked in Shenzen.

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An Illogical Assessment of the Market

MS dropped by 7.7% to dangerous levels. GS dropped 4 and JEF by 6.4%. You have every reason to panic with BAC in the $5’s and European banks going to $00.00. Fitch announced that US banks have exposure to Europe and that might be bad. Well, yes, thanks you for telling us what we already knew.

French yields are above 3.7%. Spanish yields are 6.5% and Italy is near 7%.

Tell me something good.

RMBS anyone?

You though you had a bad day? Due to the unraveling of the refiner trade, CVI fell by 16%. David Tepper’s Appaloosa fund owns 8.5% of the shares. He also owns more than 3% of WNR.

Today was a ball-wrecking day and we have every reason to believe we are about to get our collective faces punched in. However, that would be a logical market move. If we’ve learned anything this year it is to be illogical and buy the blood. Surely there is no way out of this mess. How can the market go up when everything is so bad?

You will see. As sure as I am sitting here the puppeteers will fuck everyone. If your interest is to be agile and trade with the flow, you will be grape-raped. It’s that simple.

In summary, I am expecting a massive move lower tomorrow, but the exact opposite is more likely. This is the ultimate Costanza market and there is nothing to do with it but watch and pray–always a lovely investment strategy.

NOTE: I will be adding to positions when The PPT flags oversold.

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Throwing Darts

How can anyone hold stocks for longer than 3 days? The market is in a trendless trend now, with both sides scared to commit. Bears know The Turkey Gods are gunning for them. And everyone else knows Europe is bankrupt. How did this all happen so soon?

We are down 50 now; but we were up about an hour ago. Why? No reasons, whatsoever.

Life is a miracle and the stock market is here to fuck with it.

I sold out of AKS and DK today, one for profit, the latter for loss. I have zero conviction with any longs, aside from silver and gold. But even the precious is acting suspect. As I write this, the market is fucking snowballing lower, now off by 90. At the same time, WTI is putting oil bears into the BRAZEN BULL, roasting their stomachs for sport.

Nothing makes sense, except rapid consumption of strong liquor and sandwiches.

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