OPPORTUNITY IS KNOCKING

Do not ever try to stop Jeremy Stoppelman. The CEO of YELP is sitting atop a goldmine, with the YELP properties expanding worldwide. Instead of sitting back and loafing around about the couch and hammock, he’s aggressively expanding.

After the market close, YELP reported earnings per share and revenues that were better on the top end, worse than expected on the net end. Essentially, the company is growing faster than analyst expectations; but Stoppelman doesn’t give a heap of steaming feces about making money right now. Why?

Because, like the apex predator, Jeff Bezos, Stoppelman is out to conquer the world, at least his little niche part of it.

The future of YELP is local, being able to pull up take out menus from on your mobile device and ordering food on it. They get a cut of the proceeds, like Apple does with music. Being that we’re a gluttonous people, I see great things happening for this company over the next 5 years.

Knowing this, and being smart about the extraordinary share price performance, Stoppelman decided to file for a secondary, to raise $250 million, bringing total cash for YELP near $350 million.

He now has a war chest.

Luckily, I am completely out of YELP, and have been for more than a week.

Peep my time-stamped sales inside of The PPT.

If you own the stock into the teeth of a $7 sell off, it truly sucks to be you and I will pray upon your carcass tomorrow. However, for those of us who had the foresight to avoid YELP up at 27x sales, into earnings, this is opportunity. THIS IS WHAT IS LOOKS LIKE, LITERALLY.

Just know, after the numbers were released, the stock dropped $6 straight away, only to recover all of its losses and go green. Only after the secondary was announced did the stock drop. Therefore, one must surmise that Wall St was content with the numbers, but sad faced over the dilution.

Stoppleman is simply doing his job, going the path of Amazon, setting up for long term success.

I will be buying back shares of YELP as soon as the Gods release me from the hell they’ve trapped me in.

Good night.

By the way: The iBankCoin Android App is out! Go download it and give it 5 stars. For the iPhone crowd, here is the link to our app.

I know you’re smirking from the confines of your housing tenements, laughing at Le Fly aka Plutonium Petey whilst cutting coupons and exchanging food stamps for packs of menthol cigarettes. That’s alright, as the world has a way of restoring balance.

Do you know how many times I’ve had my back pinned to the wall? I recall occasions when things looked so bad it was comical. I’d go from pulling out my hair to laughing hysterically, maddened by the stock market–very dark and sinister indeud.

So many times I’ve been discarded for trash, thrown to the wayside, only to be resurrected from the ashes, spiralling high into the sky to rain lightening bolts upon the heads and necks of my enemies.

I dare you to bet against me. Go ahead and discard me, like a perfectly healthy baby girl in Shenzen.

Into the bell, as the market sucks the skin off stocks, I am down 0.2%.

Laugh at me and I’ll punch your face off, break your jaw and curb stomp your skeleton into dust.

I feel like punching myself into the scrotum for missing NTRI. I knew it was gonna go.

I’m not the only one missing out, am I?

According to The PPT, barely 50% of stocks are up today and less than 50% of the stocks in our database are rated “buy” or higher. For a market being advertised as being “on fire,” I certainly feel cold.

For some reason, I am completely out of step with this rotational rally. The stocks that were running are taking a breather, making way for some new stocks to propel higher and assume leadership.

YELP is reporting earnings after the bell and I don’t own a single share.

Life as I know it is a moribund tragedy, in slow motion. I watch myself making mistakes, paralyzed by success.

Retailers look good again, as well as restaurants.

Look at YY! I wanted to buy it back, but didn’t have the funds to do so–because I am leveraged to the hilt with garbage stocks.

The rage is toilet paper and toothpaste stocks, mega cap dividend payers. I own KMB and WM in an olde man portfolio. But “The Fly” isn’t about that life, plainly stated.

Pray for Le Fly. Tell your God that he requires “absurd sustenance” and prefers to “bathe in unchecked hedonism through stock market gains, instead of this devilish taunting that can only be crafted by demons and goblins.”

May your prayers reach the Lord in a timely fashion so that “The Fly” might be able to bask in the glory that he deserves in very short order.

Amen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGwz_MoSCqA

NTRI is screaming higher this morning. I heard the CEO bragging about the company on Bloomberg a few days ago and knew they’d smoke numbers. I was long the stock in spirit only. Apparently, their WMT business is booming, as the fat chinned American populous looks for ways to slim down.

Other health oriented stocks on the move are are GNC, VSI, BTH, HLF, NATR, MTEX, MSLP, NUTR, NUS, SFM, WFM, HAIN, USNA, UNFI. There’s even a little micro cap that helps educate people where food comes from: WFCF.

On the restaurant side, I like CMG and PNRA. I think companies like NDLS, YUM, BKW, PBPB and MCD are on the wrong side of the health trends and should be sold.

Believe it or not, America is trying to live healthier, eat better. Almost everyone I know is on some sort of diet, working hard at the gym, or running–religiously. It comes as no surprise to me to see many of the above stocks hit new highs.

Everywhere I look, momentum stocks are getting stomped out. That Muddy Waters research deport, declaring NQ “a zero”, has tainted the waters, muddied rather (apropos!), of all chinese momo stocks. Those stocks should be avoided like the black death.

The question I just asked myself was this: do I keep watching these momo stocks and wait to buy them cheap? Or, should I move on and invest where the rotation is rewarding longs?

If I was 100% cash today and had to invest money tomorrow, here is where I might put it.

AMBC (I own it)
BLMN
USG
ANF
SQM
AEO

and maybe SGI.

I think retail and housing are most interesting here. As soon as Hallow’s eve passes, we’re all going to be talking about The Turkey Gods, Santa Claus rallies and what stocks might run higher. The very obvious choice is retail, which has been beaten like a sea-goat.

I need respite from the bastard stocks in my possession. I need to get out of this place, move on, in order to take what’s rightfully mine.

I am totally disinterested in the market right now. I go through bouts of obsession and apathetic indifference. Right now, I couldn’t care less about the market, even my own portfolio. I see things going up that I should own, while my own positions continue to languish and feel a sense of buried rage, held inside of my skeletal structure.

I run so hot all the time, every once in awhile I burn out.

The shares of BALT dropped like a stone today, once again helped by a Seeking Alpha hit piece. It’s entirely manipulative how these clowns write their articles, regurgitating spot rates as if it made a difference. While it’s true, rates have gone down in recent weeks; it’s also true, they are up a hell of a lot over the past few months.

I get very uneasy during earnings season. I’ve had some fantastic blow ups on missed calls over the years, always near earnings time. Slowly but surely, I am boiling myself in a pot filled with chicken broth, carrots, onions and celery. Very soon, someone is going to perform cannibalism and eat me. This much, I am sure of it.

I need to make change (extra Obama). In order to make change, however, I must first identify the problems.

The problem with apathetic indifference is it supports status quo, effectively making things worse.

For the day, I lost 1%.

Look at these Chinese burritos getting owned.

I don’t even want to discuss stocks. I am so mad at myself for underperforming last week. Thus far, this morning, I am underperforming, yet again.

Money is flowing into more conservative districts of the market, large cap dividend payers and housing related stocks. Basically, anything that went lower due to “taper fears” is coming back now, as rates sink. Naturally, I am opposed to this childish form of investing and believe there is a better way to earn returns.

Sometimes you have to wait the market out in order to have your vision realized.

Or, sometimes you run out of time and end up getting poleaxed in stupid garbage stocks.

So many of my favoured stocks are running without me, today being GOGO. Two stocks on my immediate buy list are TRLA and YELP. God willing, they will come in a little more, giving me an opportunity to buy back in.

That’s all for now. I’ll give an update when I get better clarity.

I carefully monitored all of your ideas, ran it through my computer simulator, and none of them came out as being “good.” While it’s true, I appreciate the zeal that many of you put forward, offering slapshot advice for free on the internets and all. But the sad, yet salient, fact remains: you are all but the reader class, nothing more or less.

Some of you might work at large investments banks or even manage billions of dollars for the benefit of your partners. However, when you are here on the site, unfortunately, you are nothing but a reader. That’s not to subtract anything from your persona. I am sure you are a very kind and generous person, even though you are a mere morsel of a specimen in a sea of specimens here at iBC.

The answer to the previous question: “What is your top pick heading into the holidays?” read many things, none of which highlighted the correct answer, provided from the milk of the bosoms of Mother Market herself: YELP.

See, YELP is what one might describe as being a “good pick”, whilst many of yours are simply adequate or “amusing.”

I’d be lying to you if I said that I wasn’t disappointed in you. Shame on your house– for the sins you put forth in these halls tonight.

Good night.

This isn’t about me. It’s about you. So fire away.
(BTW: the iBankCoin iPhone App is allowing comments, once again. Go get it and rate it 5 stars)