But Why Are Commodities Higher?

I got to admit, I was tricked into thinking today would be a good day. I am looking at wheat, corn, oil, gold, silver, even coal, and they’re all higher. Treasuries were down earlier today and tech looked great. So, I bought more IFON and FEYE, thinking “what could go wrong?”

Apparently, everything.

The world is now on the brink of destruction. This is a double blue blazer market, folks. For those of you who’ve been around for awhile, you know exactly what that portends.

I am now down more than 1% for the day, yet I feel so complacent. It’s as if I were actually making money. Can you imagine that, making money in stocks?! Pffff.

Give war a chance, people. It’s not all that bad, aside from the occasional casualty.

Oh, by the way, retarded investors of America: when gold and silver trade higher, that’s BOOLISH for the pawn shops, since they hold more than Fort Knox and initiate loans based upon the collateral of personal jewelry, which happens to be gold.

Back to my electric chair.

I am adding to FEYE, SPLK and WDAY methodically, almost everyday. Today I bought FEYE, in small increments, just to build the position.

I also added to my IFON position, as their claim to glory vis a vie their “Ifon” in South American shouldn’t be derailed by a mere World War. The people from the ancient Indian lands of the equator don’t trouble themselves with word wars and anything that might distract them from their duty. Therefore, it goes without saying, IFON is a buy.

So GM’s ineptitude led to the untimely deaths of at least 300 people. Remind me why you people buy American cars? These death boxes are made in Detroit. I don’t want to own anything that is made in that city, by those people. Even if they were built in Japan, I wouldn’t buy an American car, since the engineers and management are part of the same organizations that have personified the definition of mediocrity for decades.

Tesla, on the other hand, represents the future. It’s not that I am against American made cars, only GM and Ford. If Apple made a car, I’d buy it in a second. American innovation is alive and well. We need new blood, fresh ideas, that aren’t represented by the duapoly of GM and F. I am not bullish on TSLA’s stock here. However, I am rooting for them.

The markets look weak this morning. Again, this is thanks to the Russian problem. Their currency is in the tank and bond yields are soaring.

Russian 10yr govt bond yields

If you recall, the Asian contagion crisis of 1997-1998 started with Russian default. Naturally, Russia is in a much better position now, thanks in large part to oil. But we shouldn’t ignore what the market is broadcasting either. Government yields north of 9% spell danger. Couple with the fact that the Russian stock market is down over 30% since November, I think it’s fair to say the R in BRIC is dead.

NOTE: What do you think of this?

This just in…

According to the oracles at the Dow futures pit, located at a pub near you, the Dow Jones Industrial Average will rise by 22.61 points tomorrow. In case you’re wondering, that is after “fair value”, just to give you a much more “precise” reading of the prophecy.

Although last night’s reading was off by about 220 points, give or take a few, I am told that tonight’s prophecy holds considerable weight, in that it has been delivered by the Chief of the Futures Clan of Tomorrow himself.

Happy tidings.

Here it is. I am throwing it out on the table for you to feast on. We’re all gonna die anyways. I might as well let it all hang out now, while I can.

Equity Exposure: 90% (10% cash)

1. EZPW
2. SALE
3. EGRX
4. FEYE
5. SPLK
6. WDAY
7. SB

How did an illiquid biotech stock get to be so big of a position? Slowly. It’s worth mentioning, I have several other positions of similar size. Aside from my EZPW position, everything else is under 10%. I have a bunch of small positions, something unusual for me, done purposely due to market conditions.

BTW: The new 300 was fucking awesome.

Rivers of blood are running in the streets. The Russian Empire has imposed themselves for one last time. Now it’s personal. America is ready and able to smash their Russian faces in. Imagine a whole country filled with white trash. Now you know what we are up against–slavic speaking rednecks.

Everything is lower, save SALE and EGNX. Go figure. I’ve been raising cash over the past few days and have buying power available.

I am looking at YELP getting “lamb-chopped” and wonder when it will stop spinning lower.

For glory…WAR. Yes, this is bump in the road, a tit on the torso. But it’s temporary lads. You are going to regret being such pikers for not buying this dip.

Not now…but soon.

DEVELOPING…

I sold out of IMUC for a tragic 13% loss. It was a small position and I didn’t feel like owning it anymore. Do you know why? Because when markets roar, I like to own offal. On the other hand, when markets decline, I like to be in a position to buy all of the stocks that ran too far when the market was roaring.

In this case, I’ve selected three stooges: WDAY, FEYE and SPLK.

Sure, these stocks might trade lower on me and debilitate my ability to reason in a rational manner. It’s equal to divorcing your wife for a young hotty, only to have her ditch you–immediately thereafter. Sometimes it’s better to keep the olde battle ax, avoid attorney fees and unseemly break up expenses.

At any rate, I think it’s clear to all market participants that the market is weak (extra UUUUkraine). I will be using this weakness to raise cash in losers and/or winners that are not central to my diabolical plans for world destruction. It goes without saying, you should prepare to witness “The Fly” shuffle the deck a bit, if I might be so bold.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naBuQmFdkv4

In light of the currency craze in alternative energy names (PLUG, BLDP, FCEL, HYGS), I bought an old Devil favorite: CLIR.

Instead of fighting against the NSA, join them. Aren’t you familiar with the olde adage? You and your little pea shooter pistol will not overthrow the government and you certainly will not stop them from spying on you. After all, if you were them, wouldn’t you spy on you?

What exactly are you up to these days, you sneaky devils?

With all of the welfare and illicit activities taking place, Tea Parties and the like, it’s the responsibility of the government to protect, mind you, their $17 trillion economy. Every text and telephone call is being recorded. All of your stupid Facebook status updates and tweets are being archived for future analysis.

The next terrorist is amongst us, person(s) of great interest whose sole goal is to cause anarchy and abscond with our precious freedom (irony alert!).

This is a bankable trend. That’s why I am long SPLK and will continue to be long SPLK, for as long as I live.

The futures trader are filing into their local bars, where they will spend the rest of their evenings, buying and selling an uncertain future, from their phones, inebriated to the point of retardation. Tonight, they feel the market will trade up tomorrow. They’ve predicted the future, for the benefit of us all (how very nice of them), declaring “THE DOW JONES INDUSTRIAL AVERAGE SHALL RISE BY EXACTLY 28 POINTS” tomorrow.

The future has been told. Therefore, anything to the contrary is nothing more than propaganda and lies.

NOTE: The more shots the futures guys consume, the bolder their predictions become. Should they continue to drink at a feverish pace, we might see futures spike by 80 or 90 points! Oh, what joy.