Flat For the Day

5 out of my top 6 positions were up, with N being an outlier down 1% for the session. I’ve detached from the rest of you fuckers, like a rocketship breaking off from its boosters. The rest of you will drift down with the gravitational pull and BURN THE FUCK UP upon reentry.

“The Fly” is heading towards the sun on a mission of glory.

The Dow Jones is now negative for the year and I am up 29%. Do I need to continue to explain the harmonious winship inherent in Exodus any longer or would you like me to demonstrate, yet again?

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I added to my SBNY position and RDWR. Do you know why I added to them? (wait for it)

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because I can.

Today’s market rout is worthy of a nice swan dive out the office window, is it not?

Oh, that’s right, my largest position is up for the day. Why don’t you sell all of your stocks and go hide under the blankets. It’s awfully dangerous out there in the market place.

This is the June Swoon. I was telling you this might happen, as liquidity dried up and the Lord’s of Finance would exercise their EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGES over bottles of viagra and completely forget about stocks. It’s an ugly, ugly day and it looks like it wants to get even uglier.

Yes, it’s true, 3 out of 4 of my largest holdings are up today and I am seemingly immune to the pangs of horror that afflict you. Social graces dictate that I should, in fact, remain stoically modest as our paths diverge. Nevertheless, I cannot help but to point out that the fork in the road you chose is heading straight for a wild jungle filled with human head beating apes.

As always, “The Fly” is charitable in his expertise and will permit you to GPS relocate yourselves back onto the path of win.

Top picks: CYBR, N, VNDA, ZFGN, HDP

Now that rates have gone up and the yield curve steepened, banks will begin to truly bank coin now. If economic activity gets into the 3-3.5% GDP range, you are going to see the mother of all bank stock rallies commence.

My favorites are super-regionals, like SBNY, BOFI and FRC. Bigger banks like BAC, C and WFC work too. Not only that, investment banks, brokerages and asset managers will trade higher, as stocks continue to make new highs.

I am long JNS, LAZ, MS, SBNY and would like to own ESNT, SF and WETF.

In short, the Lord has placed bankers on earth to help his fellow man. Lads like Lloyd Blankfein, clan leader of the Goldman Sachs tribe, should be revered as men of the cloth, charitable and kind. The true evil doers are the Occupy Wall Street mobs, men and women clad in stolen clothes, thieving their way through life, drunk and high from needles filled with heroin.

I believe the next leg of the market will be led by tech and finance. Don’t be surprised to learn of mergers as the yield curve steepens, jackass.

Good day.

There is nothing that I respect more than a fat guy eating a table filled with 10,000 calories of food. The guy is fat as fuck and knows it, doesn’t give a shit about it, and continues to eat until his ultimate demise. For mortals, persons such as yourself, you’re all subject to a Mortal Kombat fatality at some point in your lifetimes. Some of you will perish by fire, heart explosion, or via stomach explosion through ‘extreme gluttony.’

It’s the fat guy on a diet, a wrong diet, that makes me want to kill him. He doesn’t exercise or eat less. Instead, he attaches himself to oddball diets, like eating lard out of pigs heads or zero carbs, all bacon’d displays of idiocy.

Skinny people of the world know that the feel of being skinny surpasses any transitory flavor in your buttered potatoes. For thousands of years, skinny folks have ruled the world. We are agile and able to think clearly, without being distracted by donuts and mashed cheesed potatoes– with side orders of bananas and creamed puffs. It should come as no surprise to many of you to learn that obesity is not a problem amongst communities with money. For the most part, they are learned peoples, able to exhibit the basic principles of discretion and discipline over fried chicken wings, pizza, and mozzarella sticks.

Oh, by the way, Japanese GDP just came in at 3 point fucking 9 percent. Abenomics for the win. Dr. Benjamin Bernanke’s legacy continues to grow, as will the deepness of “The Fly’s” size 33 pants pockets tomorrow.

The father of all peeping toms, lurker extraordinaire, is James Stewart in Rear Window.

His character was ‘wheel chaired up’, camping out in his apartment with some hot women coming about his quarters to feed him and pleasure him whenever he wanted. But he was much more interested in the ongoings of the plebs across the street. He took to his binoculars and began a campaign of being the biggest creep who had ever lived.

This is an absolute classic, a genre maker, game changer for the cinema industry.

Also, it’s worth noting the lead actress in this, Grace Kelly, was the hottest female commodity in Hollywood at the time. She retired, at her peak, when she married the Prince of Monaco. Yes, she literally became the Princess of Monaco, like in a fairy tale, and served for decades in that capacity until death. Her children continue to live and serve there, as royalty of course.

I am going to wrap up Hitch next week and then begin to throw out random films at you, all of distinguishable worthiness for your liking.

Mixing two themes together with this post, here is a ‘roast’, more like tribute, given by Orsen Welles for James Stewart.

Opening clip from Rear Window

Rick Boss Ross is coming public soon, via Wingstop–ticker WING. The world’s best rapper, the sophisticated driver of the Box Chevy (no Maybach), owns 9 franchises and views himself as a bit of a connoisseur when it comes to chicken’d wings.

Let me tell you something: Americans love to eat chicken wings, laden with extra fatty ranch sauce. Or, sometimes they like to eat wings with a capricious amounts of blue’d cheese. Either way, America runs on chopped meat and beakless chicken.

I missed out on SHAK, scared of its absurd overvaluation. But I will not miss out on WING. It’s not in my DNA to miss out on an opportunity to invest alongside The Boss (no Springstein).

It’s worth noting, I am hedging this fatness shit with a long position in anti-obesity frankenstein drug company, ZFGN.

I added to my VNDA and HDP positions, as my largest holding, CYBR, rips dicks off.

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To think we were just finding our groove there. For the month of May, unfortunately, 280,000 jobs were added to the economy, much higher than the anticipated 226,000. Wall Street doesn’t like these numbers because it means the Fed might do something stupid, like find an excuse to raise interest rates and help lift the elderly CD crowd out from abject squalor, something fretted by all true capitalist men of substantive industry. Bonds are getting slaughterhoused again and the Wall St. 2.0 crowd have resigned their positions as “money managers” and instead have opted for roles as catamites for Wall St. 1.0 lads.

Before I went to bed last night, I prayed to the Gods, both the old and the new, that vast amounts of Americans would become unemployed. I was hoping the robot programs at the WMT/MCD/TGT hegemony would’ve placed a strangle hold on the jobs market, enabling stocks to go higher, paving the way for robust share buyback programs. Instead we’ve learned that McDonald’s have been hiring aggressively for their drive in, Chicken Macnugget, windows and WMT/TGT have really taken on a lot more “mop boys”, which should be a welcomed bonus for the shares of CLX.

In an ideal world, jobs would become a thing of the past. The Cheesed Doodle class could stay at home, boosting television ratings, and the subscriber bases of NFLX and AMZN, buttressed by government stimulus packages– which would be funded by a roaring stock market and subsequent taxes paid by the elite rich. Until that utopia could become a sweet relishable reality, we are stuck with the indelible facts that stocks are subject to the whims and words of a certain Grandma Janet Yellen. Let us be contemplative about the good times we’ve had in these stock exchanges, and prepare for a worsening– a fucking train truck smashing into an oil refinery with 3 million passengers onboard.

I’m gonna make a fuckload of money tomorrow.

VNDA for the win.

I shed just 0.6% for the day, winning while losing.