Marissa Mayer Intends to ‘Golden Parachute’ Out of $YHOO, Post Haste, For $55 Million

As part of her compensation package, M. Mayer stands to rake in $55 million, in a ‘Golden Parachute’ provided to her by the genteel board of directors at Yahoo.

It’s worth noting that Marissa was paid $36 million in 2015, while the share price slumped double digits.

As part of her potential ‘severance’, she will receive $26,324 in continued health benefits–because $55 million just isn’t enough.

This is greed, personified.

Oh, she will also get $15,000 for ‘outplacement’, whatever the fuck that means.

In 2014, Mayer received $42 million.

Let’s do some math, shall we?

Mayer has received $78 million in compensation since 2014. After selling Yahoo, due it its failure to continue as a sole entity, she will grab another $55, upping her 3 year money snatch from Yahoo shareholders to $133 million.

During the same time she received this enormous compensation, the share price has been flat.

Additionally and most importantly, Yahoo has shed its workforce by 42%.

Crony capitalism at its finest.

Fuck hedges, says the incoming chief, Ed Bastian, from Delta.

“The reason we haven’t hedged for the last year and a half is there’s just too much volatility, and we’ve been burned,” Bastian said in an interview with Bloomberg TV. “We’ve lost over the last eight years about $4 billion, cumulatively, on oil hedges.”

Wow, these clowns are probably the single worst energy traders in the world. How on earth did they manage to lose $4 billion on their hedges over the past 8 years?

The airline wouldn’t hedge again “until we saw a point where there was some longer-term stability to know what to expect,” Bastian, 58, said. “Right now with the volatility and the cost of a premium to hedge, I just don’t think it’s worth the risk.”

In the first quarter, Atlanta-based Delta paid $1.33 a gallon for fuel, down from $2.29 a year earlier. American Airlines Group Inc. has benefited the most among the U.S. airlines eschewing hedging. In the last quarter, American’s fuel costs were $1.21 a gallon, compared with $1.83 a year earlier.

“Just as we saw oil get down to $25 in January, there were people calling for it to go down into the teens,” Bastian said. “I don’t get paid to make those types of bets.”

Crude oil is at historically low levels, which, seemingly, would be an ideal price point to lock in low rates, no? You’d think the CEO would want to put this issue of price volatility to rest, in order to focus on operations. By not hedging, essentially, the incoming Delta chief is gambling on lower prices. This isn’t a decision born out of conservatism for the balance sheet, lamenting the losses endured, erewhile, by his predecessors as evidence of hedging being a scheme that has wasted valuable company resources.

No. This is a greedy man of the very first magnitude. Should oil skyrocket from here, Delta will, once again, enter into the trashbin of bankrupted airlines.

Nothing has outperformed gold this year. Senator Jakegint has been resurrected from his crypt, in which he was entombed several years ago amidst heinous precious metal losses, in order to actively campaign for the Rafael Cruz campaign and to relish in the recent rally in gold. While everyone is talking extreme shit about Apple and the specter of oil gushing higher, gold has been making folks rich again.

The 3x upside ETF, dubbed JNUG, is up an astounding 472% this year.

Another levered upside gold ETF is NUGT, higher by more than 380% for the year.

The overall sector is higher by triple digits, led by silver.

Some of the individual percentage gainers have defied the laws of gravity.

Wherefore, Jakegint lives. Death to the fiat currency cabal!!!

I always try to tell people who use the service ‘just because a stock is overbought or oversold, that doesn’t mean it’s a sell or a buy.’ That ideology is hard for some people to grasp, as most are programmed to believe overbought to be synonymous with sell.

Not the case.

We do not try to time tops or bottoms, per se. Everything is data dependent, fully transparent, for the user to make a judgment call.

Case in example: on March the 30th of 2016, Exodus flagged a systemwide overbought signal. Some people saw this and straight away thought it equated to sell. I tried to explain to them that it wasn’t the case, that stocks tended to keep shooting higher when markets were ripping to the upside.

Here was my post from that day.

Here is the backtest data for the SPY after Exodus‘ oversold and overbought signals, all actual events and not made up in hypothetical lab situations.

If you shorted SPY with a holding period of 5 days after our OS signal, you made money 87% of the time over 30 instances. On the other hand, had you bought SPY after the system flagged OB, with a 5 day holding period, you would’ve made money 93% of the time over 30 separate instances. This is systemwide data stretching over the past 36 months.

What does it all mean?

Buy extreme weakness and buy extreme strength for easy dunk shot stock market victories. Everything else in between is trench warfare, sort of where we are now.

This is a market of extremes, swinging from pessimistic apocalyptic scenarios to hedonistic cocaine party triumphs. Humans are a depraved, sordid, crazed, species.

Trade accordingly.

Back in 2014, HAL bid $28 billion to acquire the assholes over at BHI. Much to their chagrin, the government didn’t like such a deal, as it posed anti trust issues. Plus anyway, I am sure the SLB lobby was pressing the child molesters in Congress to oppose such a deal, as it would mean heavy competition for them.

Bloomberg is reporting HAL might pull out of the deal on Monday, effectively fleecing shareholders of $3.5 billion, in what will be owed to BHI for canceling the deal.

$3.5 billion termination fee.

Amazing.

At one point, UPL was being revered as one of the next up and comer oil majors, with significant natural gas and oil holdings. Leverage is a bitch. Now they get to sell off assets at fire sale prices to Exxon, and enter the wastebin of failed enterprises.

UPL is listing $3.9 billion in debt and $1.3 billion in assets.

“The low commodity prices, and especially the low natural gas prices that prevailed throughout 2015 and have continued through the first four months of 2016 have had a devastating impact,” Chief Financial Officer Garland Shaw said in a filing explaining events that led to the bankruptcy.

He is 100% right, not only in regards to the hedge fund industry, but the money management industry as a whole. The mantra at 99.9% of investment banks is to hit production quotas via commissions generated, else you’re out. Period, end of story. Having been audited numerous times, it was never a topic whether or not my investment decisions were helping clients or not. All they were interested in where legal risks and/or whether or not I was a worthwhile profit center.

The industry needs to be overhauled. In my estimation, the best way to do with is to empower people to self-direct their investments and to put hedge fund managers and advisors into coal mines, in order to help America become great again.

The stock brokers can help build the wall on the Mexican border, which will be paid for by the Mexican government.

Buffet on hedgies:

“There’s been far, far, far more money made by people in Wall Street through salesmanship abilities than through investment abilities,” Buffett said Saturday during Berkshire’s annual meeting in Omaha, Nebraska.

Hedge funds traditionally charge a management fee that’s 2 percent of assets, plus 20 percent on any profits. That’s “a compensation scheme that is unbelievable to me,” Buffett said. He added that some pension funds have disregarded his advice, and gone ahead and hired consultants.

“I hope you realize that for the population as a whole, American business has done wonderfully, and the net result of hiring professional management is a huge minus,” Buffett said.

“Supposedly sophisticated people, generally richer people, hire consultants. And no consultant in the world is going to tell you, ‘Just buy an S&P index fund and sit for the next 50 years,’” Buffett said. “You don’t get to be a consultant that way, and you certainly don’t get an annual fee that way.”

Truth be told, it never occurred to me that a Trump presidency might spell a renaissance in American energy production, hitting all areas of coal, natty and oil. Unlike Obama and Hillary, who want to put a fucking windmill on every household in America, Trump is a fervent believer in being energy independent. Additionally, and more importantly, he thinks the EPA are filled with a bunch of tree hugging assholes, more interested in the habitat of pigeons than the American economy.

Perhaps the recent respite in coal, up 47% over the past 3 months, is a reflection of the surge in Trump’s popularity, signaling a new era of American energy production–helped in large part by hard men drilling and mining, toiling away, using gender neutral restrooms during their lunch breaks.

As a kid, I hated this movie. Growing up in an Italian household, this movie ruined the lives of many moronic men. They’d watch this epic piece of cinema and then automatically enter the mafia…at least in their minds.

They’d start to dress like Don Corleone, talk like him, walk around like Al Pacino, and make people offers they could not refuse.

You youngsters out there have no idea how the Italian American community was derided and sterotyped because of this movie. Since 1972, it planted the seed in America’s mind that if you were of Italian ancestry, you were also in the mafia.

Italians took advantage of this fear. As a result, many faked mafia connections, dressing like wise guys, talking with thick Brooklyn accents, even though they were from Long Island.

This movie is great; but it also was an abomination for Italians.

Thank god everyone is gay now and men can enter the women’s bathroom and urinate standing up with the bathroom stall door open. These days, instead of men faking to be in the mafia, talking tough, and dressing Don Corleone sharp, they make believe they’re women and dress like tarts.

Watch a piece of Americana tonight and don’t forget to bring your fucking burner with you, while dressed to the nines.

In other words, they’re both ripping us off. Where have we heard this before?

Under the new law, Treasury officials developed three criteria to decide if countries are being unfair: an economy has a trade surplus with the U.S. above $20 billion; has a current-account surplus amounting to more than 3 percent of that economy’s gross-domestic product; and has repeatedly depreciated its currency by buying foreign assets equivalent to 2 percent of output over the year.

This is a softball approach to kindly asking China and Japan to stop robbing us. The last time the U.S. flagged a major trading partner as being a ‘manipulator’ was China in 1994. Since then, the U.S. has clammed up about currency manipulation, a precedent that was started under the Clinton regime and continued henceforth.

If elected President, the presumptive GOP nominee promises to declare both China and Japan as currency manipulators.