Campaign Commercial: Vote Leonard the Monkey

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVc1ZoEAkEY 450 300]

NOTE: This has been a paid commercial by the “Elect Leonard the Monkey” campaign, partly subsidized by Dpeezy, since monkeys do not have any money.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68KLZCVFDQI 450 300]

I should have sold all of my [[SRS]] and [[FXP]] weeks ago—but I didn’t. The short story is dead, at least temporarily, until we get some really bad news.

In the meantime, it is imperative you go long, in order to stay in the game—providing you are short. Go nibble at some stocks that are down and have big short positions.

Just today, I bought [[NVDA]], [[NILE]], [[ZUMZ]], [[FFIV]], [[FMCN]] and even a little [[GSOL]].

Thinking about SRS, I remember making my worst trade of 2007, prior to my infamous “mountain vacation.” I sold out in the 70’s, only to see it catapult to $140, almost immediately following my sale.

The point: sometimes, when things look bad, they are good—and vice versa.

That’s why in markets like this, as irrational as it is, you must pair your shorts with longs, in order to live.

On a brighter note, “The Fly” kicked three old men into oncoming traffic, in mid-town Manhattan today. All three of them wore top hats and had mahogany canes. I suspected they were short the market. Why else would they dress in such an egregious manner?

NOTE: Stay tuned for Leonard the Monkey’s campaign commercial.

UPDATE: [[CSTR]] blew away numbers. What a no brainer. People are converting their spare change into dollars, then buying furry boots at [[DECK]].

I bought 3,000 [[NILE]] @ $52 and 5,000 [[FMCN]] @ $38.69.

Disclaimer: If you buy NILE or FMCN, you will be arrested. And, you may lose money.

I sold 10,000 [[UYG]] @ $35.35

Quit thinking. Just trade like an OTB guy. A degenerate one, if you will.

What would a degenerate OTB guy buy, right now?

Answer: the networkers.

The sector has been blown to smithereens and are saddled with big short positions.

My watch list includes:

Thus far, I bought one stock in the sector: FFIV.

Keep in mind, this is a broken sector, with declining fundamentals. In other words, they are trades.

Looking elsewhere, retail is on fire. Take a look at [[VLCM]], [[TBL]], [[ODP]], [[CHRS]] and [[RSH]].

My favorites include: [[JCG]], [[ZUMZ]], [[SKS]], [[RL]] and [[AEO]].

I bought 20,000 [[NVDA]] @ $21.25 and 5,000 [[FFIV]] @ $24.25.

Disclaimer: If you buy e above stock because of this post, your only daughter will marry Dick Bove. And, you may lose money.

Financials are spearheading the rally. I’ve got a splendid decision in front of me: sell my [[UYG]] or [[SRS]]. At this point, the market has the look and feel of a clean breakout. On the other, common sense says we’re due for a pullback.

The good news is, we are seeing a collapse in commodity related names, thanks to a strong dollar. This, as you know, was the original reason why I was buying [[SMN]]. It wasn’t a bearish call on the market. I bought SMN as a stealth bull call, thinking the commodity related names had to be sacrificed, in order to let the market run.

Finally, it looks like that trade is setting up nicely.

Right now, with my money, I like [[NVDA]] and [[HPQ]].

I sold 2,000 [[CTRP]] @ $63.90.

The month of April was a glorious one, for the Godly folks at iBC. Traffic hit an all-time high, yet again. The little amount of advertising revenue generated hit a high. And, finally, we added a new blogger (Adam) to the mix.

As for my readers:

I do not hate you anymore. I harbor mild disdain for most of you. Quite honestly, you are a benign bunch, with little to say, little to do. However, I do hate the readers of other blogs. That’s right. I’ve turned my guns of “death and cannibalism” on the readers of other blogs, as opposed to having them on the actual third tier bloggers.

Why bother destroying third tier bloggers? Look, they’re harmless. I even hired one of them to host iBC’s May 6th elections.

Speaking of which, according to the latest poll data, GW is in the lead. I’ll have you know, “The Fly” will be announcing his endorsement, through Dinosaur Trader, on May 6th.

As for the markets:

Oil stocks are enjoying a double “fuck you, you’re dead,” as the commodity slips and [[XOM]] shits the bed—due to margin pressures. Quite frankly, the refiners are to be avoided at all costs, except death. If you are threatened with “sudden death” for not owning a refiner, buy one. You can always sell it later. They are saddled with so many input pressures, I wouldn’t be surprised to see them start losing money.

With the temporary resurgence of the dollar, expect all commodities to get laid out across the pavement. Good plays are [[DUG]], [[SMN]] and my favorite: short [[POT]].

Tech looks to be an early winner today, with strength in [[AAPL]] and [[RIMM]]. For a trade, I like retail. [[VLCM]] is spiking on good numbers. Look for [[ZUMZ]] to trade up in sympathy.