Don’t Be a Loser

While my wizard (Merlin) casts spells on ag stocks, I have been very busy intaking massive quantities of caffeine.

I know you fucktards think the market will swan dive, on the back of horrendous future news. Too bad you’re all wrong.

While reading this website, be sure to accept the market misdirection “The Fly” offers you.

One day I am a bull, the next a bear.

Try to understand, I have many more neurons operating in my brain, than all of you—possibly combined. When I die,  my head will be severed from my body, preserved, then kindly displayed at Universities throughout the world.

Regarding the market:

I have “multiple wins” taking place in [[HANS]], [[LAZ]], [[WB]], [[UYG]] and [[CTRP]]. In addition, I am hedged, via [[SRS]] and [[FXP]].

However, it’s worth noting, I have very little confidence in my Chinese short position, considering how brazenly corrupt those bastards are.

I do not mean to spread rumor, but I am hearing, from multiple sources, [[TWPG]] “may be in trouble.” Thus far, I do not have a short position. However, looking at the company, I cannot give you a good reason to go long.

Finally, I am not going to bet against oil. I have a minor [[DUG]] position and will be content with getting my money back, without having to add additional funds.

Betting against oil is for losers.

Poof. Your bullshit farm stocks are now cloaked in darkness.

–Merlin 

I bought 2,000 [[HANS]] @ $33.90.

Disclaimer: If you buy HANS because of this post, when you get divorced, your wife will take half. And, you may lose money.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aY2tbeP_K1M 450 300]

I sold short 1,000 [[POT]] @ $185.

Disclaimer: If you sell short POT because of this post, the price of rice in China will be your death card. And, you may lose money.

I sold 5,000 CORS @ $9.55 and 5,000 WB @ $28.92.

There is no better feeling in the world than experiencing pure joy, over a large can of Monster Energy Soda, while watching the fuckers from POT eat pavement. It’s about time someone had the ball sacks to downgrade the stock.

Thank you RBS.

In other news, TSCM shit the shower. Is it any surprise? Really.

I mean, I love the work of Rev shark and some of the other random contributors, but let’s face it; that site is built around Cramer. Even at $8, the stock is extremely pricey. In my opinion, the stock needs to find a home around $5.

WB caught an upgrade, out of sheer fear that “The Fly” would be angered, is my suspicion. At any rate, I am quite pleased and will be selling my shares, shortly.

Look you, I have no time to fuck around with imbeciles on the internet. “The Fly” is a very important man, with dozens of “irons in the fire” and multiple wins in his pocket.

I can only tell you, with utmost sincerity, I despise elderly people and their bearish ways. It is no secret, I relish the opportunity to catapult unsuspecting bearshitters into a field of cacti.

Regarding the market:

Common sense says to short everything in sight. However, price action dictates otherwise. The reason why we are undergoing multiple expansion is due to a rosy 2nd half outlook. The earnings comparisons from Q4, ’07 to Q4, ’08 are absurd. We are expected to increase earnings by a whopping 62%.

I believe it makes sense to milk this rosy outlook as long as one can, without having to actually see the proof. In other words, trade this rally, as if it were the last rally of your life.

Top pick: short POT

A tale of two cities, in a sense.

Deutsche Bank upgrades Wachovia (WB 28.69) to Buy from Hold and raises their tgt to $35 from $29, given a view that recent capital actions are the last and a stock price that trade at only 80% of est. franchise value of $35/share

RBC downgraded POT to Outperform from Top Picks with a $300 tgt based on recent share price appreciation. Since the announcement of the Indian potash contract on March 20, 2008, the firm notes POT‘s shares have appreciated by 34%. Firm says their positive fundamental outlook for PotashCorp remains unchanged. The firm also says looking forward over the short term, the news flow is likely moderate with the next focal points being (1) PotashCorp’s Q2/08 earnings release on July 24, 2008, and (2) further spot potash price increase announcements likely in Q3/08 or Q4/08.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOUEItAEF7U 450 300]

NOTE: This is a “paid advertisement” from the “Elect Dpeezy” campaign.

NOTE II: If any of you internet leeches aka advertisers would like to sponsor the iBC elections, email me @ flybroker at gmail dot com. The rate will be egregiously high and will offer you very little upside, fyi.

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