America is Dead

Credit default swaps are blowing out everywhere. Pension funds and variable annuities are blown the fuck up. Life insurance firms are fixing to default. And, finally, our President is as dumb as a bag of rocks.

I thought Bush and his class of clowns were stupid; but Obama and his devious clan of tax cheats steal the show. These men have an agenda and will stop at nothing to apply it, even if it means fucking the market with sand paper bats.

You don’t raise taxes during a depression. These fuckers are committing the exact same errors, that were egregiously committed during the Great Depression.

Believe me, I want to believe in something better than the shit I see each and every day. But, how can I trade, with confidence, on the long side, knowing these assholes are going to raise taxes on dividends in 2009? WTF!

I have a handful of longs: ISRG, JRJC, TNA, UYM and CY. I have one short: REW. And, I am saddled with 70% cash, up 15% year to date. In other words, life is good for “The Fly,” despite these cock suckers trying to take me down.

With GE, GS, MET and MS in the tank, this market cannot rally. God willing, Bush’s PPT can reemerge and jack this fucker up, so that I can sell out of this bullshit TNA.

The market gaps up, only to collapse on itself, again. Is it any surprise to see gun stocks, SWHC and RGR, running, while this shit is taking place? People are going ape shit over this market and are on the verge of going Tony Montana on the tax man.

Which reminds me, the IRS will be stepping their “audit game” up, in a very draconian way soon. Enjoy digging up all of those receipts.

Today, GS and MS are receiving multiple homo-hammers to the neck, as well as all commercial re. In hindsight, I should have kept my SRS position and fed this TNA shit to the dogs.

This does not look good for equities. I am beginning to believe that “all hope is lost.” Furthermore, I am starting to believe something really fucked up is about to happen.

To be honest, as opposed to lying out of my teeth, I don’t need this shit. I have nice year to date gains and little skin in the game. I might just clear the deck, go to 100% cash, and eat a sandwich.

Once upon a time, I woke up to sunshine in my eyes and an automatic sense to euphoria. I had just turned my life around, from zero to hero in a matter of 3 months, landing some pretty big accounts and benefiting from the seemingly endless rally on Wall Street, thanks to internet stocks.

I was way ahead of everyone else, early to invest, knowing full well the potential power of the internet and how it would affect commerce. I was positioned in all sorts of gems, from BCST to AMER to MSPG to ELNK to BYND to ONSL to GCTY to motherfucking ATHM.

I could not be stopped, only contained.

I was new to the business and had the energy of a fucking coked up monkey, running sideways throughout the streets of Manhattan. I took accounts from 250k to 1 million inside a few months. Times were great and everyone knew it.

Lunch consisted of oversized 2 1/2 inch cowboy cut ribeyes, cooked medium rare, heavily salted, lightly peppered. I had my own office; so naturally we got drunk. After work, we’d just throw money around, buying drinks for everyone, feasting like Kings.

Life was easy back then, at least until the market crashed. Back at the firm, brokers would just hang around, bragging about their market exploits, each story more ridiculous than the prior. Even sales assistants were making 6 figures, due to the impressive production runs coming from the brokers.

Let’s not forget all the times we’d send the lowly coldcallers out on Starbuck runs.

Gleefully, clients would come to the firm, impressed with everything they saw, almost honored to be in the presence of such Godly managers of money, who made them rich.

The market was so bullish and so easy to trade, nearly everyone I knew was invested, even my barber. People would just hang around the television and wait for Joe Kernen (CNBC) to highlight some “hot stocks,” then bid them up into the close. Everyone knew the gains were unsustainable. However, there were so many overzealous internet analysts (Blodget), who helped keep the parade going, people thought the market would go up forever, spearheaded by “the new economy.”

That fucker(Blodget) made me so much money with his AMZN call, I would kiss him, in a very non-gay way, if I ever met him.

I was into buying watches and diamond studded cuff links. Naturally, all of my work attire was tailor made, and my shoes were egregious, always shined.

Those were the days, 10 years to the day, when America was proud of itself and innovation made the market run.

NOTE: Here is a news article, penned a decade ago, highlighting how much we (Americans) kicked ass.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d12EI3xNiqE&feature=related 450 300]

Just a quick closing thought, before I run along. Now that all of the life insurance players are going out of business, MET, TMK, SLF, LNC etc, who is going to pay for the coffins and burial rituals?

Answer: The Government.

Prepare for Government Sponsored Burials.

In other news, your variable annuities are fucked too. All of the insurance morons took your deductibles and went long, son—stocks that is.

UPDATE: Denninger has a wonderful, heartfelt, essay regarding the current state of affairs.

Naturally, many of you asslickers are besides yourself with unfettered joy, thinking “The Fly” is getting sacked. Well, according to the unbendable laws of science, that is an outright impossibility.

Nonetheless, who cares about science and math when there is fiction and stupid games of “jungle gym”?

Maybe I need to be less clear, when I say “assholio, I have more than 70% of my book in cash.” Maybe I should say: “Buckfutter, buy stocks and get your johnson clubbed the fuck off.”

If you are worried about the country, you are a douchebag. The stock market meltdown is NOT scary. To steal one of my twitter lines, it’s funny like a sunny bunny with a grenade.

The real scary shit will present itself in the form of starvation and armed robberies, at your fucking country club.

Going into the close, I will laugh at the stock market, while preparing to get drunk. After all, if the shit is going to hit “le fan,” I might as well enjoy it.

Before I go nuts, go check out Jon Stewart’s attack on CNBC, an instant classic.

As you see from the early morning tape, banks and commercial re are getting hit again. But, after having extensive discussions with my Voodoo Doctor, I must report to you that it is a suckers bet to short stocks down here. Look, there are plenty of asshole companies that are going all the way to zero. However, before that happens, we will have a rally that will punch your jaw loose. Do you hear me you fucking faggots?

With that being said, “The Fly” is conducting himself like a gentleman, of the distinguished variety, this morning. I have a nice warm cup of Earl Grey tea and crumpets by my side; and I am pretending to be an avid reader of The Financial Times. Also, at the present, I am in a 70%+ cash position, with a long bias.

Here’s what you need to watch:

GE and WFC.

If both of those fuckers go green, this market will chop the cocks off those who are short. If not, oh well, it was nice knowing you.

With my money, I will not add to any longs, unless of course an insane buying opportunity presents itself. And, there is no fucking way I am shorting down here, not even with Howard’s money.

NOTE: Currently, I have long positions in UYM, TNA, ISRG, CY and JRJC.

UPDATE: Back in January, I penned an article, “New Stocks to Zero.” How am I doing on that Godly list so far?

Good times.
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f03zZA___Ho 450 300]

Good times, part II
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGgzW9r0QrM 450 300]

NOTE: “The Fly” is all about conspiracy theories, after midnight. During work hours, not so much.

UPDATE: Change is NOT a comin’! Fuck this country. I’m withholding taxes. Go ahead, try to make me pay.

Just so you know, Vincenzo is one of the many IT guys that iBC has under its tutelage. Vincenzo is well known for having unbelievable accidents in iBC’s server rooms, such as dropping balsamic vinegar on hardware or even entire bowls of “gravy” with meatballs.

At any rate, he lives in MN.

Enjoy.

After you are done with that, watch this vid and catch up on the queer state of California.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=put0KLV5gmE 450 300]