300 Billion Reasons to Rally

I’m done caring about preserving capitalism or whining, like a little bitch, about the incredible burden on the tax payer. Fuck the tax payer and his credit carded ass.

At the end of the day, life is all about sticking it to the short sellers, with their deformed noses and burlap shirts.

Citigroup Inc. [[C]] was just about the easiest, yet most nerve racking, trade of the year. On one hand, I knew the gov’t had to defend the stock price, providing they were interested in saving the system and modern day finance. But, on the other, I was relying on people who are well known as standard, pre-packaged idiots to deliver.

Nonetheless, we have 300 billion reasons to rally today, and indeed we shall.

Aside from the banks, gold looks like it has some momentum. Check Wood for some gold fun. And, it appears treasuries are getting nailed to the ground today, which bodes well for [[TBT]] .

Commodities are up. Europe is sprinting higher.

Gentlemen, if I may be so bold as to say so, the Thanksgiving Rally has begun.

NOTE: This post was sponsored by “The Turkey Gods.”

The U.S. government has agreed to guarantee over $300 billion of Citigroup’s troubled assets — loans and securities backed by residential and commercial real estate and other such assets.

Fuck you shorts, you’re dead!

UPDATE: Details, via Federal Reserve website. Preferred stock exercisable north of $10. Sounds good to me.

On a bank rally, here is a list of stocks worth following/buying:

[[WBK]] Banco Santander, S.A. (ADR) [[STD]] Bank of America Corporation [[BAC]] JPMorgan Chase & Co. [[JPM]] Banco Itau Holding Financeira S.A. (ADR) [[ITU]] BlackRock, Inc. [[BLK]] PNC Financial Services [[PNC]] Signature Bank [[SBNY]] Umpqua Holdings Corporation [[UMPQ]] BancorpSouth, Inc. [[BXS]] The Bank of Nova Scotia (USA) [[BNS]]

UPDATE: Citi opened +50% in Germany. Here is link to quote.

The Turkey Gods have spoken.

UPDATE: iBC introduces, “The Citi Bailout Wire.”

I mustn’t hesitate to inform you internet leeches of important developments. I shall, and will, offer you survival tips, on a regular basis, for the upcoming depression. Without further delay, I give you Mr. Solomon.

I’m too lazy to pull up charts; do that shit yourself.

I have it plugged into The PPT rankings, automatically rewarding all stocks with a nice technical bonus, when treasuries go +10% ytd. I warned you fuckers earlier; God bless brand new Treasury dudes and my brain.

NOTE: That [[FXP]] hedge didn’t work out too well. I will buy more at $60 or lower. Should Citigroup Inc. [[C]] raise capital, the market will turkey dance all the way to turkey day.

More Bob Fun:

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZZRHlhViiE 450 300]

A good friend of mine has confirmed, via psychic messages, that the devil himself, Lucifer, is actively short selling the market to zero. This makes sense, since “The Turkey Gods” have been found dead, near an orange dumpster, with all of their feathers plucked out.

There’s no need for me to give you financial advice, at the present. We’re in Armageddon trading; every man for himself—son.

However, I am willing to “opine” on a few matters, to borrow a phrase from a great man on Fox news. I would like to talk about treasuries and gold.

It is my belief, the pending failure of Citigroup Inc. [[C]] is causing large corporations to wire funds out of the bank, into alternative investments, safe havens if I may be so bold as to say so.

Hence, it is no surprise to see treasuries and gold boot stomp higher, while Citigroup Inc. [[C]] blows goat cocks.

Just know, after Citi folds, Bank of America Corporation [[BAC]] is next, with a side dish of Morgan Stanley [[MS]] . Then, all of a sudden, Chesapeake Energy Corporation [[CHK]] and National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] will go under, due to their lines of credit and counter parties being cut off, alongside many companies, like [[M]] , who rely upon credit.

In short, I have a sharp blade near my desk and war paint on my face. Also, it’s worth mentioning, I might grow a beard again. This way, whenever my neighbors say: “Hey Fly, how’s the market ?”, I can snarl at them and show them my rambo knife, as if to say “I will kill you soon.”

I know, I know, “The Fly” is acting all crazy again, with bazaar late night posts and erratic postings. Just have faith in knowing that America, as we know it, will never be the same. And, the dairy lovers from Russia are fucked “communist style, circa 1997.”

In closing, I’ve cut loose a variety of longs, demonstrating a little bit of discipline. And, I’ve been adding to General Electric Company [[GE]] , whenever I get an itch. To hedge, I’ve been buying [[FXP]] in the low 80’s.

Life is good. Off to BBQ a few hotdogs over a flaming barrel of trash.

NOTE: I am 90% long equities. Back to that hotdog.

…this time is different, I am buying back [[FXP]] —down $10.

UPDATE: Understand, FXP is something I am obsessed with and has nothing to do with my feelings on the market, which is: we go higher.

Pointless Video Update:

At yesterday’s close, it was official, treasuries were up more than 10% for the year. I realize things are dicey and the world is ending and shit. However, in my studies, whenever you get this type of move in treasuries, the market bottoms. It’s almost as good as gold, with reference to reliable indicators.

The sharp bone in the chicken soup: Citigroup Inc. [[C]] .

If that can get resolved, relatively smoothly, this market will murder all short sellers. That’s why you need to cover your shorts, right now, for the love of money and flaming barrels of garbage.

All Paulson has to say is “we’re buying Citi’s toxic assets,” and the Dow will spring shot to 30,000.

Okay, that’s a slight exaggeration, but you get my point.

Now, instead of fucking around with individual equities, you might as well get some broad based upside etf’s, like [[BGU]] or [[TNA]] —providing you are into that 3x sort of thing.

So, to sum things up, eat a sandwich, raise cash, wax your car and make sure you have zero shorts. With a small percentage of the portfolio, I think it makes sense getting long. We’re about to pop higher, or die. Either way, we’ll find out soon.

Happy trading.

We’re deeply oversold, amidst a Citigroup Inc. [[C]] meltdown. Who could write such a horror story?

This is “the no trade zone,” especially on a Friday afternoon.

Frankly, nothing else matters, but the fate of Citigroup Inc. [[C]] . Most likely, they will become the proud recipients of a “government deal,” a la AIG. Aside from that, everything is peachy. The world is round and my television is a rectangle.

Commodity stocks are bouncing, but I don’t trust them.

One thing to note is weakness in treasuries, thank God. Once this whole flight to quality love fest is over, [[TBT]] will be a dunk shot win.

Until then, go eat a sandwich, raise cash and go wax the car.