Carrot Chopping Tape

To be long this market in size is equal to speed chopping carrots with your balls on the table, one of my favorite things to do. Even though the long trade has been very consistent, it’s always a little unsettling to be so bullish, amidst such a tragic economic backdrop. Nevertheless, until the mood changes, men with large pipes and well stocked cabinets filled with aged scotch want this market to go up.

Starting off the am, I am greeted with “extreme green” in a variety of names. You do not need to be concerned with such names, for they are mine. What you need to focus on is the quality of your trades, not the quantity. As you readily know by now, “The Fly” partakes in only the highest end of trades, such trades that can only be discussed in the smokiest dark oak rooms, or here on this bullshit website.

I am a sucker for the internets! God bless Al Gore.

Thus far, I am feeling the vibes being disseminated from several of my positions. Again, the names of these companies are really none of your concern. If you want stock ideas, I gather there are plenty of [[FAZ]] and [[SRS]] rec’s taking place on twitter, right about now.

Rumor has it, inside of a certain—undisclosed— smoky dark oak room, men with large pipes, and glasses brimming with aged scotch, are conversing about the prospects of CGG Veritas (ADR) [[CGV]] , U.S. Global Investors, Inc. [[GROW]] , Wimm-Bill-Dann Foods OJSC (ADR) [[WBD]] and Mechel OAO (ADR) [[MTL]]. Don’t quote me on that.
Additionally, some people believe Sociedad Quimica y Minera (ADR) [[SQM]] , Vimpel-Communications (ADR) [[VIP]] , Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] , Corinthian Colleges, Inc. [[COCO]], W.W. Grainger, Inc. [[GWW]] and SandRidge Energy Inc. [[SD]] look “pretty awesome” too. Once again, I refuse to be quoted on “suchness,” as Mrs. Fly would say.

In early 2009 I started going long stocks at the height of the credit crisis, give or take a week or two (some of you are just so sensitive). Do you remember what stocks I started buying?

Survey says:

GUNS!

I started buying Sturm, Ruger & Company [[RGR]] , Smith & Wesson Holding Corporation [[SWHC]] and Big 5 Sporting Goods Corporation [[BGFV]] , because I was past the point of caring. The way I figured, we were on the verge of a massive “ape-rape” and KING COCK needed to get his trade on, by way of an armed revolution. The trade was the easiest of my life, since it was do or die. If we shit the bed, there was a 10 out of 10 chance that people would start shooting thy neighbor in the face for warm winter blankets. If we didn’t shit the bed, everything would go up in unison and we’d all smoke weed, drink beers, and yell at the TV again, over idiotic football games or stark raving gay reality teevee shows.

Back then, I packed up my shit, put it in my spaceship (made from 100% dynamite), and headed out for the fucking Sun. I just went. No looking back or second guessing—just outer space exploration. By the way, I am still on my journey and I still don’t give a fuck. Sure, I have lots of money to slap people in the face with, if I chose to go that route. I guess it’s due to my modest upbringing and the fact that stock picking has always come easy to me (since 10 years old, motherfucker); but money doesn’t infect my mind like it rips through the souls of some of you clam fucking, backstabbing asshats. Just thinking about how lame some of you bottom feeders are makes me want to vomit on some random homeless guy. Hey, I’d be doing him a favor; it’s fucking cold outside and vomit is warm.

I value loyalty 10x more than hard currency.

The point I am trying to make, ever so boldly, I still have my fucking foot on the gas, heading straight for the sun, via egregiously large long directional trades—sans the hedges (they’re for bitches). Get in my way, I’m liable to “moon-stomp” craters into some of your faces.

Tune in tomorrow, when Senor Tropicana will invite you to his coin minting castle, much to the chagrin of the enemies imprisoned in his “detainment catacombs.”

Let’s talk about Sociedad Quimica y Minera (ADR) [[SQM]] .

In 2008, due to the credit crisis, farmers around the world cut back on potash. For example, China reduced its appetite for potassium by a whopping 36%, sending the shares of Potash Corp./Saskatchewan (USA) [[POT]] , The Mosaic Company [[MOS]] and Intrepid Potash, Inc. [[IPI]] through the fucking floorboards. What did Sociedad Quimica y Minera (ADR) [[SQM]] do amidst the credit bust cycle? They made their largest investment in company history, by greatly expanding their potash division. In 2008, their potash division produced 186,000 tonnes. By 2013, they are projected to produce 1.5million. Holy fucking cow-tits!

It gets better.

Farmers can’t milk the land for too much longer, without fucking themselves into the poorhouse. According to the laws of science, if you withhold potash (potassium chloride) from your farms for too long, you end up looking like the Soviet Union, circa early 1990’s. After 3 years of reduced potash, you will “enjoy” a 10-25% drop in yield. If you are brave enough to hold out for 5 years, your farm gets “ape raped” to the tune of 62% yield reduction.

In other words, Sociedad Quimica y Minera (ADR) [[SQM]] is in the sweet spot.

In addition to potassium chloride, Sociedad Quimica y Minera (ADR) [[SQM]] is the largest producer of potassium nitrate (49%), iodine (33%) and lithium (30%) in the world.

Let’s talk lithium.

Lithium is used in all sorts of shit, most notably your smartphones. Sociedad Quimica y Minera (ADR) [[SQM]] stands to benefit from the proliferation of worldwide mobile network expansion. With their surplus lithium, Sociedad Quimica y Minera (ADR) [[SQM]] decided to delve into the hybrid/electric car market. Oh yeah, electric cars use lithium batteries.

Whatever the fuck these green lunatics plan to do with CAFE standards, Sociedad Quimica y Minera (ADR) [[SQM]] stands to benefit, as they are the largest producer of lithium carbonate in the world. If none of this floats your Cadillac, SQM’s nitrate products are also used in solar electricity generation plants.

Where is the stock heading?

Well, it’s hard to tell, since most of the surprise stuff (hybrids, solar, potash) is not really baked into the estimates. Let’s just say, she’s going to $55 AND MORE.

May all bears, who are shorting Sociedad Quimica y Minera (ADR) [[SQM]] , fall into deep vats of acid, then fished out for proper burial inside of an active volcano.

The stock Gods have spoken: “SQM is blessed.”

Now go back to prattling on twitter, regarding how “poised” FAZ is here and how you just put the entirety of your grandmother’s IRA account into SRS.

As the economy improves, life is only going to get worse for short sellers. See, you internet motherfuckers are trapped in some sort of bubble world, completely detached from reality and shit. Back in the real world, there are men at work, decked out in the finest burlap garments, shorting the shit out of stocks. By now, these fuckers are so embedded, so wrong, they have their dicks stuck in a clam and there is no way out but down. Meaning: they will endure the pain of a bull market, until they are out of business (eviscerated) or proven correct ( successful clam rape).

Either way, I still enjoy throwing jars of jelly (grape) at them, while making “space money” in my longs, like Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] and Flowserve Corporation [[FLS]] —just to name a few.

At any rate, it’s important to remember how wrong these people are and how religious they are about their dogma.

What are we talking about here? We are talking about betting on numerous short only funds blowing the fuck up and checking themselves out of the business. Here are 10 heavily shorted stocks worth monitoring, courtesy of The PPT.

Chipotle Mexican Grill, Inc. [[CMG]] , The McClatchy Company [[MNI]] , SuccessFactors, Inc. [[SFSF]] , [[CAB]] , Netflix, Inc. [[NFLX]] , American Superconductor Corporation [[AMSC]] , American Axle & Manufact. Holdings, Inc. [[AXL]] , [[RDN]] , DryShips Inc. [[DRYS]] and United States Steel Corporation [[X]] .

There are so many different ways to toss old people into dirty sewage pipes. However, none are better than doing it via an egregious short squeeze.

Trade accordingly.

Going for yet another $100 roll, I repurchased 5,000 W.W. Grainger, Inc. [[GWW]] @ $98.75; and for a squeeze, I went long 3,000 Ethan Allen Interiors Inc. [[ETH]] @ $14.23.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, your neighbors will spread false rumors about you and point fingers as you drive by. And, you may lose money.

Roll complete. I sold out of Flowserve Corporation [[FLS]] @ $105.12.

On to the next one.

Developing…

Last night, while you were in a drunken state of sleep, “The Fly” was in his time machine—scouring for new stock ideas. Quite frankly, being up more than 12% for the year is not only appalling, it’s embarrassing (for you of course). Granted, the year just started a few days ago. Nevertheless, I have a keen interest in making my competition look foolish, like dogs dressed in cooking aprons and chef hats.

Who gives a shit about the jobs numbers? Please. This market is in decepticon mode, led by megatron and his fucking street cannon.

More on this later.

Top picks: Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] , Sociedad Quimica y Minera (ADR) [[SQM]]

After a glorious day, I cannot disturb the order of things or the harmony—better known as my “winship”—with a wordy closing post. That shit is for amateurs and I am the BlogFather.

Moreover, I cannot blacken such a day with ridiculous gangster rap or heroin addled rock music videos either.

Instead, I leave you with this.

Indeud.

Top picks: Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] , Corinthian Colleges, Inc. [[COCO]] , Masco Corporation [[MAS]]

Off to do something special.

You little fuckers are Japan and I am Godzilla, stomping on your bullshit firetrucks, while eating large amounts of sushi. In my world, money is secondary. Gentlemen, I have not taken money out of my brokerage accounts for 10 years. As far as I’m concerned, it’s “space money,” not needed for Earthly things, only to be used as offerings to the Gods. Any clients that take money out are quickly fired and sent packing, so that they may enjoy “going it alone” at their local E-trade—where they can “blow the fuck up” for $8 per trade, or whatever the fuck they are charging these days.

It’s about the wins people, only the wins.

When you go to a liquor store and ask for a quality bottle of wine, there is a 99% chance you will be required to pay up for such a product. The same relationship is applied to the purchase of clothing, beluga caviar or even rib eye steaks. When you ask “Le Fly” to operate his coin factory for you, I will have you know, you will be required to pay up.

For the moment, I will put the lessons in life saga on the back burner and tell you what I am doing.

I bought some Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, Inc. [[MSO]] and Masco Corporation [[MAS]] , based upon crystal ball readings and gut feelings. Additionally, I threw three jars of grape jelly against the wall and none of them broke. As a result of this occurrence, I bought more Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] and Corinthian Colleges, Inc. [[COCO]] .

Be prepared for the market to break the fuck out. If you are inclined to remain short, be prepared to be dropped off the Empire State Building, onto an unmarked bag of grape jelly jars. My best guess, they will all break and so will you, fuckface.