I AM BOX WATCHING

After giving up all the days gains, the market is being resilient, punching holes in the faces of bears again. Still, Spain was +3.9% today and we’re struggling to hold 0.5%.

Right now I have been reduced to “box watcher,” complainer of all things to do with stocks and bonds. I find myself wasting time, talking to people about “how stupid” this market is, only because it is not behaving in the manner of a top hatted gentleman. Truth be told, I’ve made a fantastic living managing money. It has afforded me with much needed currency and freedom to make my own schedule. Looking at my behavior objectively, I find myself to be sinful, ingratitude on a biblical scale.

There are people out there making 10 bucks an hour and I am complaining about the superfluities of my gagillionaire clients, whose unparalleled greed makes them pester me for more wins?

PFFFFFF.

That’s life, pal. Get over it.

YELP needs to trade the fuck higher and fast. The idea of this stock closing down on an up day is hateful to me. As you can tell, Le Fly is somewhat preoccupied with mental anguish. All roads lead to violence and that’s a bad thing, I think?!

Okay, I’ve wasting far too much time with you mustached weirdos today, pornography collectors, infants stuck in old/fat bodies.

Back to box watching.

Europe is holding onto gains and we are giving it all back. This is exactly what I didn’t want to happen. This sort of price action often leads to market routs. Truly, the US markets are the worst in the world right now, next to the dog lovers in Hong Kong and China. The pessimism is overwhelming.

AAPL is your tell and the fate of the market, at least in the near term, is tethered to the price action of today’s tape. It’s bad enough that we were unable to rally yesterday, despite green in Europe. To not participate in the rally is equal to saying WE are the problem and not Europe. It makes you think for a second.

WAIT A MINUTE! CSCO missed– and earnings have been murderholes for a wide array of momentum plays.

Maybe we are the problem?

Hmmm.

Let me be emphatic: WE MUST RALLY BY NO LESS THAN 150 points today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFtBIRAdb-o&feature=relmfu

I’ve been a dealer in the magical arts since I was young. To accomplish my goals, I will my way to success. You fuckers are so bearish, shitting on Facebook as if it was GRPN, I know you are wrong. You fuckers are so pessimistic about the EU and this market, I know we have 2,000 points to the upside.

Even though Obama is the devil himself, he will likely be reelected because by the time the election is near, this market is going to be north of 15-fucking-thousand–leaving skid marks on 75% of you ham and eggers on Twitter. Stock markets elect people, not citizens.

Generally speaking, “The Fly” always wins, especially when the skies open up on him, striking his person with bolts of lightening.

Spain nationalized Bankia, reversing their promise of not assisting their failed institutions. I view this positively, as it means they are taking the UK approach to ring-fencing their fucked banks: making them disappear. I am not so sure about Greece; but Spain and Italy will be funded by the ECB, until Germany goes broke. By the time that happens, “The Fly” will be living in his space station, permanently, firing his Space Orbital Cannon (SOC) at your houses from the Van Allen belt.

We should bounce today, led by commodities. It’s do or die for real today. If we don’t take 1% back from the deviant fiends within the next 7 hours, it’s a bag of dicks for investors tomorrow.

I descend upon you with owlish wisdom. I’m the Ajax of this finance/blogging/space alien magician (SAM) game. Bet against me and lose your house.

Top Picks: EXK, AG, WNR, MTW, YELP

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UBGVZlexO8

A few years ago, I did a series of cartoons, like the one featured above, for fun.

The market will never rally again.

Today was the day when we had to rally. It was do or die and now we are going to die.  For the love of killer infectious diseases in Africa, EUROPE WAS UP TODAY and we managed our end of the bargain like homo-hammered Greeks.

This is extremely distressing. You have no idea.

Throughout the day I conducted myself with dignity, repositioning away from old goat fucker to young gun slinger. But that didn’t matter and neither does PCLN and CSCO.

We are positively doomed. There is no hope and there is no tomorrow.

Enjoy your funerals.

NOTE: I made 0.3% today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RamFlOFdb6g&feature=related

Europe reversed hard off the lows, some indices closed green. The fact that we are not green yet is disappointing. But the ground is set, whether you like it or not, for a mind-blowing rally into the sleepy afternoon hours.

If the anti-bailout fuckers from Greece can’t form a government, logic dictates it’s business as usual, with German hands up the asses of those lazy mutton fuckers.

My cash position is 20%, thanks to sales. But I upped my risk profile through the purchases of WNR, EXK, AG and MTW.

Don’t hate on me, fucker. I’m just going for the jugular, trying to win big, as it is my right and custom to do so.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0_zC0nJnrc

I tossed Grandpa to the side, kicking his dumbass down a flight of subway stairs. I kicked out of 75% of my old man stocks to bulk-the-fuck-up on EXK, AG, WNR and MTW.

That’s right, I’m buying fucking cranes in China, via MTW.

The truth is, I have a death wish. I laugh at insolvency, while feverishly drinking excessive amounts of ambrosia, swallowing lamb shanks save the fucking mint jelly. See, I’m in this car made from dynamite sticks and it’s getting hot in the cabin. I’m gonna drive this bitch until the wheels fall off, throwing bowling balls at you pikers on Wall.

Go make some cold calls. “The Fly” will be in his time machine, changing the future to better comport with his position.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQuMjjKaKhY

Stocks have gotten cheap enough for me to justify selling out of some grandpa stocks to buy some miners.

I sold out of 75% of KMB, LNCE, ABV, PEP, WM, GIS and bought size in EXK and AG.

My cash position is 25%.

UPDATE: added to WNR

UPDATE II: bought MTW

Isn’t this fantastic? Think about how lucky we all are, as investors, to relish in the same exact crisis for 3 consecutive years. How singular and wonderful it is, truly!

Greece gets bailed out; but they don’t. The Spaniards are next; but they’re doing okay. And, the Italians are in crisis mode; but they have turned the ship around and are doing just fine. I challenge you to try to make sense out of all this, then invest your life savings on that thesis.

Pardon the cliche, but this is the gift that keeps giving. No wonder retail wants no part of this market. It is a lose-lose situation for the unwashed pleb, the man-dog with a brain the size of a cashew. Nevertheless, I am mandated by my ingrate clients to figure it all out: with a snap of their cigar stained fingers, I am ordered to figure out the puzzle.

Remember when I said (last night) there was no contagion? Well that has changed over night, as sovereign yields for the shittiest countries in Europe are soaring this morning. Apparently, the euro is going to $00.00, taking oil, silver, gold and California with it. The incredibly morose part about this whole process of investor elimination is this “crisis” we are enduring now will be nothing more than a bookmark in 3 months. The central bankers will find another solution and the markets will blast higher, doubly fucking the people who sold due to fears of financial collapse.

Well, it looks like The PPT will likely flag its first OVERSOLD signal since late 2011 today. With that, based upon our correlation tools, I can tell you silver and gold miners are likely going to be the best investments coming out of the pit. That sector has been lit aflame, by men clad in pink pants made from velcro.

Barbarism on a medieval scale has befallen the Ron Paul crowd.

Nonetheless, if the markets ever go up again it will be because of a cheap money solution, which is inherently inflationary– always good for precious metals. Both EXK and AG are of great interest to me as we delve into the lower tranches of this fucking tape.

NOTE: The dicksuckers over at GMCR were right! Weather trends dictated hot versus cold beverage consumption. SODA smashed numbers and the stock is up $5.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofoIMg76Sng

Okay, I’ve had time to absorb the information and sequester my emotions from what we are looking at here.

The last time The PPT flagged Oversold was 12/8/11 when the SPY was at $122. We are significantly above that level, despite the carnage, regardless of how poorly AAPL has been trading. As of the close of trade today, we are not oversold. Normally, I do not give away that information for free, since it is a membership service. However, we are living in interesting times and wanted to give you a full view of what the market can be setting up to do.

Starting with tomorrow’s sell off, I am giving the market 7-10 days for a full rebound. Unlike past euro events, this one will not drag on forever. I believe swift action will be taken. You are not the only one with something to lose here. Think about the bankster exposure to sovereign debt.

Thus far, contagion is not a topic, as Italian and Spanish yields are muted. But that doesn’t mean it can’t happen tomorrow.

You should not be leveraged long like me. I tend to make bold moves at odd times, often a little too early or late for my own good. When it’s all said and done, I’ll get it done, but not without expense. If I had a life expectancy (Le Fly is immortal), I’d be dead by now, resting in a pineapple coffin, from all of the HORSESHIT I put myself through. The market is a living organism, subject to the elements of man, contaminated by his stupidity. If you are bulking up on basic materials or high beta earnings plays, you are gambling and would be better off fighting sharks with chum wrapped around your fucking face.

Nothing is working but big dividend, big market cap, grandpa stocks. If you look at my 110% long position, you will find it to be deceptively conservative, with 50% of it yielding almost 3%, up 1% over the past 2 weeks. In other words, the grandpa stocks are a form of cash for me, until my risk appetite increases.

As of now, I am heavy on talking shit; but my actions are far more subdued. Don’t GMCR yourself out of the game and remember to live to fight another day. Once you are out, you’re fucking out. I can’t tell you how many times I missed out on huge gains because I didn’t manage my risk profile properly. When the market is back into beat-down-a-bear-to-the-skelton mode, you will know it– and have plenty of time to get in.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQt0BQQ5jyQ