Fly Sell: AG

I sold 90% of my AG position.

As I write this shit, I am speeding in a car made from dynamite sticks, heading for the sun, +5%. Today’s lift puts me at +2.5% for the year, easy come, easy go.

How’d I do it?

All in, no cash, long heavy amounts of TEX, MTW, AG, MTW, TDC, CLF just to name a few. With the Nazzy up 2% for the day and most high beta stocks up 5%, I think it’s fair to say you can go fuck yourselves. All of you cocksuckers were warning of danger at the exact bottom. As a point in fact, just yesterday I had to talk three clients out of selling out their portfolios. These are men of industry, strong willed men, bending the knee to you fucking faggots in Europe.

Check this out: the market still wants higher. It is not only my destiny to enjoy outsized returns under extreme circumstances, but my right.

Fuck the world and you with it. “The Fly” is banking coin again, banging on his African jungle drums and stiff arming mustaches off of people’s faces.

In closing, as you sit there getting “zerohedged” under a barrage of flaming arrows, remember this day for as long as your pathetic organic state continues: “The Fly” wins all the time, especially when he appears to be losing with alacrity.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWlu8VhcqtM

For the faint of heart, this is where you take money off the table. The market is not running on cocaine yet, just an oversold bounce. There is optimism based around ideas, but nothing real–yet. As for me, I am holding until higher prices. I am positioned for Chinese easing and God damn it I will get it.

Aside from The Fuckbook, everything is up. If you insist on buying into strength, look for names that are down more than 20% over the past three months with % of shares sold short over 20%. Buy on momentum and pray to the Gods for a squeeze.

My top picks on Chinese easing are TEX, MTW and CLF. Other names worth buying are TCK, FCX and FLS.

Contrary to what you probably expected from me today, on a +150 upswing, I am not boastful. I graciously accept today’s respite and tip my hat to my robot overlords for helping me remain solvent. Should we continue to spread our wings here, I will fire my rail guns at all of you fuckers who were calling for calamity.

BEWARE.

I am flabbergasted that the ECB chose to keep rates at 2%. Are they out of their fucking minds? Those European cocksuckers have just sucked the life out of the market, crushing futures from +14 to +5. They are really mentally disturbed people. Don’t laugh! It’s fucking bizarre and completely delusional for the ECB to do nothing.

WOW.

Yes, I am looking for policy makers to boost stocks. In the event said policy makers fail to act, we’re going to 8,000 on the Dow, rather immediately.

Any questions?

The fucking Europeans in charge of the ECB are not men, but small babies with the brains of dogs.

After all we’ve been through since 2008, all of the ups, downs and in betweens, one thing has been perfectly consistent: Ben Bernanke doesn’t give a shit about your opinion. Partly it’s because he belongs to a secret organization who profits from wars, depressions and booms. But the mainspring of Bernanke’s Bearded Clam existence is to continuously and absolutely decapitate all raids on US asset classes.

He’s not interested in lower stock prices. When they go lower, his fucking clam face snaps the dicks off bears though mind boggling quantitative easing. Some of you just don’t get it, do you? The fucking gold market is telling you it’s coming, yet you err on the side of zero precedence.

Pray tell me, when was the last time stocks went down a lot, the economy slowed, and Ben didn’t start his dastardly POMO machine?

If you choose to believe QE3 will do nothing and stocks will trade lower regardless, I have no qualms with you. HOWEVER, if you continue to leave inane messages of such poor decorum and mien, I will have but no choice but to dispatch you to less accommodative quarters. Look, “The Fly” is all about free speech; but some speech is more free than others. You cannot come into this House of Perspicacity and expect to purport lies and half truths without being checked harshly at the door. I will also defend those who are honest and with top hat. There is a dress code at iBankCoin: all we observe it else feel the end of my lash.

Having said all of that, the Federal Reserve is top hat central. Rest assured, QE3 is coming, soon and forever.

#POMO

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47MazYDnmaU

Critiques of GRPN will say “it’s a stupid company, bloated, and it’s going to zero.”

Pardon me, Sir, would you rather pay full price? Isn’t GRPN in the sweet spot of the new American economy, where vagrants clip digital coupons to save money? The pessimism in the social media space is un-fucking-believable. Before you chime in, understand that the stock price action has nothing to do with the underlying businesses. Last I checked, YELP, GRPN, P, Z, TRIP, ZNGA, JIVE, LNKD, ANGI and AWAY all beat expectations. Now the market decided, in its infinite wisdom, that all publicly traded companies related to the internet MUST go bankrupt. Fine. After all, the dot com bubble happened; therefore, it must happen again.

Do you realize how fucking stupid you sound? So let me get this straight: these companies thrived for years in the private markets; but since going public, the stories have materially changed and they are ALL going to zero. On top of that, Facebook is the new Myspace, even though Myspace at its peak was 1/100th as big as FB, if that.

Fuck you people. Fuck you hard and with sand.

I don’t like you and I will never like you. I might be taking daggers in the face long YELP; but at least I went down in something I adamantly believed in. If I blamed the horrendously criminal Facecrook offering for sapping the life out of the social media space, you might say “they were going down anyway.”

Fuck you in the wind, snow and with rocks.

My cost on YELP is around $22. If I make up some of my losses, now down 2.5% year to date, I will add to YELP down at these levels. It can go to $12, maybe even $9. Or, it can bottom here and go straight to $22. Investing is not only a mystery, but an enigma. The poetry of prices swashbuckles between bull and bear, washing fucktards away to oblivion. It happens all the time. I made a great error by letting a big gain turn into a break even. I made an even greater mistake by letting break even transform into a small loss.

Lastly, I made a mountainous error by letting a small loss become my albatross.

Despite all that, whether you like it or not, these fucking companies, ON THE HAIR OF HERCULES, as hated as they are right now, are in the process of bottoming. They will be here longer than you and will make people rich one day; you’re just too glib and permanently stupid to know it.

Today Netflix aka “blood bag” announced they are getting into the CDN business, competing with the likes of AKAM and LLNW. On the surface, it makes sense because NFLX is one of the main users of bandwidth on the internet, yet the stock is lower.

Odd no?

Didn’t NFLX just do a fucking PIPE offering, raising money in a desperate attempt at staying in business? The CDN business is very capital intensive. I feel this investment can and will bankrupt the company, eventually, as they are not paying attention to the vampire behind them.

When it comes to content, no one beats iTunes. It’s only a matter of time before Apple buries NFLX for good, just like they buried RIMM, NOK, Sony etc. Eventually, Apple will bury Samsung too, when they release their Apple tv. After the tv is launched, app developers will make REAL games for it, effectively impaling the fucking X-box and Playstation.

We live in a world filled with vampires. Nothing is created, just transferred. The money in Spanish and Italian banks aren’t vanishing. On the contrary, they are being sucked into the vaults of Germany, Japan and the United States.

It’s never a high probability trade to bet against vampires; they have big teeth and move quickly with super-human abilities. Goldman Sachs, love them or hate them, has successfully been sucking the life out of their competitors for decades. Sure, the stock is down and morale is low. But they will come back, just like Apple and the United Steaks of America.

Other vampires include WMT, COST, XOM and GOOG. Am I forgetting any?

Why the fuck am I long? The bond market isn’t just speaking soft tales of deflation, but mentally ill charging systemic failure. I look at everything on paper and find zero reasons to own stocks, except for one simple thing: the Federal Reserve.

Is this the moment in history when the Fed decides to give up? All of the trillions invested in seeing this economy stay above water will be for nothing if they do not act now. More than that, the Europeans threaten themselves with irreversible depression, which will lead to violent revolutions in their filthy streets.

Am I exaggerating?

Maybe just a bit. But the idea of doing nothing as rates shrink to nothing is not only suicidal, it is MADNESS (I am not sure if suicidal is better than madness, but it sounded okay).

In other words, I am being treated as “The Gimp”, who is trotted out to buy stocks whenever things look really fucked up. My master, the Fed, has trained me to believe in its magical powers. Hell, back in 2010 I bet against Le Fed and was taught a lesson through fire to the tune of a $5 million loss in VXX tits.

What is going to be your VXX tits? Perhaps you will be caught short some homosexual social media play when the Fed punches you in the cock? Or, maybe the Fed will do nothing and just watch this shit unravel, whilst listening to gangster rap music?

Either way, I am sick of this shit and want out.

In related news, The PPT flagged Overbought for TZA yesterday, the first signal in a while. Generally, an OB signal in TZA is met with unrelenting selling, which means the market goes up. Average loss for a 7 day hold period is -17%.

Happy fucking trading.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWlu8VhcqtM

A clown can throw darts at a pile of trash, littered with ticker symbols, and make money when the market bounces. When it does bounce, there will be 20-30% winners inside of a few short days. The plan will be to lick my fucking wounds and retire from this idiot business and take my money to build “Social Media Prisons”, where I will lobby for the arrest and detainment of fraudulent social media executives.

Also, I will rebuild my time machine and start using my fucking space orbital cannon with extreme belligerency.

My stocks are positioned, as hilarious as it sounds, for a Chinese stimulus package. At my funeral, I expect all of you to throw “Chinese burritos” at my coffin– that will be shaped after a fucking pineapple.

Look, I own silver, social media, tech, old man stocks etc. I own all of that shit. I own it all. I am in the soup, cooking myself, pouring broth over my head. There is no need to plan for anything. I will sell my stocks when they go higher. I will visit the television channels and proclaim “this is a generational buy of a lifetime” then get liquid on my viewers. I will partake in all sorts of debauchery, when I am on the teevee. You won’t know it’s Le Fly. I will be represented under an alias, under the most ridiculous pretenses ever, with the explicit purpose to drop CNBC into a media murderhole.

Let’s get the Twitter ipo thing going already. I can’t think of any reasons why they’d delay such an offering, after “The Facebook fervor.” In anticipation of such greatness, we may want to “play the Twitter” by owning some GSVC again. You know, get in before the bozos get it at ipo. The private equity pirates will make sure Twitter ipos through Margin Stanley at a gilded era valuation.

The black flag of unmerciful aggressive offensive tactics is ready to impale those fucking bears in my way. The news flow is very predictable, very doomful and scornful. We all know it’s going to shit (no toilet bowl), so it makes sense to ride these fucking horses until they are dead or until they stomp out the faces of our enemies.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Sn6u5YPfZA

iBankCoin has become both a funeral home and cemetery, mixed in with a little mortuary. I am here to remind you of your imminent death. Do not “get hooked” into believing the depression is over, for it has only yet to begin (no Samsonite).

Many of my holdings reversed and traded higher, which is very nice for health and well being. But I am not optimistic. Don’t worry about “The Fly” capitulating, for it can never happen, scientifically. I’ve made my bed, as wretched as it is, and now lie in it.

Everything you thought you knew about The Facebook was a lie. Apparently, it’s a giant fraud, a reverse QE of sorts, flung upon us by geeked out asshats with insidious intentions. My new target for the S&P 500 is 1,200, then zero. Take a “barbell” approach by investing in formaldehyde and Egan Jones, short of everything else.

All of the professional money managers, who are not naive, are short equities here. It’s very obvious and terribly bountiful. The rest of us are simply being used as tinder for the financial fires. At one point in my life, I stood atop mountains and urinated on the heads of people like Egan Jones. Now I am being kicked in the head, repeatedly, by his ilk.

In closing, let’s all focus on the crisis and take in the aromas of execution. Surprisingly enough, GRPN is going straight to zero. Didn’t you know the market for Groupons are idiotic and indeud stupid in a post apocalyptic world?

Everything is going to get worse. We will all be buried alive shortly.