18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Tomorrow is a big day for Glove-Mitt Romney to fuck with Barax 0bama. The monthly jobs report is due and it is sure to disappoint, as is the custom. However, a bad number will make stocks go higher, much higher. Right now we’re running on virtual cash (no #timestamp); and if the numbers are too strong, I suspect Bernanke will need to bacdafucup off the US economy.
The worst case scenario is a number that is in-line with expectations; no one wants that shit. We need a really fucked up, abysmal, greater depression, type of number to get the cocaine party started. Let’s say the numbers are gorilla strong. Under a “gorilla strong” number, the market will fall under bricks of sell orders; because we don’t want that shit. It will pop, but then get sold-the-fuck-off.
We need to unwind a bit, moonlighting under the roaming splendour that is POMO.
You’ve been dispatched from the field and now you’re on the run. Your army of interns have tucked tail and fled for the safety of churches. However, just know, Le Fly doesn’t believe in the sanctimony of buildings and will burn your skeletons into dust inside of them.
I ended up selling 50% of my YELP position, greatly reducing my position to avoid making the same mistake twice. Also, I sold out of ALK for a small profit, being that jet fuel cracks are on the rise again. I started a large position in JCP, investing alongside some pretty large funds, like Pershing Square. The stock has been cut in half and my algos say it’s time to go up, based upon a 91% accuracy track record.
At the end of the day, I am +25% for the year, with 25% of my assets in cash. You can’t fuck with me: I will burn your dwelling down to the basement.
I was tempted to buy VMI and LNN, but prefer to own both lower. Also, I was “this close” to buying DECK and GMCR, but remembered that both companies sucked. I am not disillusioned to the facts on the ground, all which appear to be grotesque in nature. Italian and Spanish markets were flummoxed today, as yields spiked and the euro trashed. Yet, American markets stepped up with swagger, eliminating any doubts that we hold the crown, with Federal Reserve sword and shield in hand.
We are due for a little pull-back; but I am so far ahead, I am opting to push the envelop, as much as can be with a 25% cash position. The giant trade has been accomplished and everything from hereon-forth is 100% greed. I will have you know, “The Fly’s” greed is unparalleled in all realms, only comparable to his unstinting generosity.
The market doesn’t want to go down. There is a bid in this market and I don’t know where it’s coming from. Needless to say, it’s foolish to bet against stocks here, unless you have a catalyst. The momentum is to the upside and the shorts are broke and dickless.
I’ve taken it upon myself to acquire more shares of RBCN, because I want to bear witness to a short squeeze. You fuckers will all pay the heavy price of betting against me, in due time. For now, revel in the familiarity of the winship that is Senor Tropicana. The sun is beaming and the temperature is rising. I wouldn’t be out of place by saying “my hand is on fire right now”, would I?
Coasting into the close, I like CMI, RBCN, ALK and MOS.
Come get it today. You fucking clowns were talking a lot of shit about my YELP position. Who’s laughing now?
For the sake of sanity, I trimmed my YELP position by 25%, all market orders, taken in like a fucking champ. The only reason why I sold is because the stock was almost 50% of my book. Even by my standards, that’s a bit much. But understand something, pal, YELP isn’t done going higher. I teach you these lessons because they need to be taught.
All of my blogging peers out there are pussies, afraid to spill hot coffee on your faces. Always know, “The Fly” doesn’t have an issue with throwing scalding hot coffee into your “fucked-faces.”
Moving on, I am not sure if I like the market here or not. The YELP win is clouding my judgement, truth be told. I am long large amounts of CMI, ALK, EXK, MOS, CPST and RBCN. I “feel” they all trade higher.
I want to get more ag, in light of the fucked situation of the farmers of America. Fuck their crops. Le Fly has three years worth of dried food reserves, just in case.
When fireworks were legal in NYC, I used to shoot bottle rockets at my friends. We’d toss around “block busters” like rocks, blowing fingers off and shit. Ah, the good ole days. Now that I’m an old fucker, I spend my BEER and BBQ day near the grill, chugging down bottles of “Rogue”: (see my instagram or Twitter for details), whilst eating larger than fuck quantities of BBQ chicken (only BEAS BBQ sauce) with healthy servings of potato salad and white trash baked beans.
After I am finished eating, I will watch some Twilight Zone, then fixate on the markets, as it is my duty and right to do so.
Accept these ebullient days as small tokens from the Gods. Often times, the market is an unforgiving bitch. But it’s days like this that make it entirely worthwhile and keep brainiacs like me in this racket. Sure, I could quit today and start my very own late night television show; but I’d rather sit in my office and talk shit to total strangers, threatening them with mortal combat and things of that nature.
“The Fly” doesn’t sell out and he never buckles under pressure.
Having said that, I would not blame any of you if you sold a few shares and took the summer off to enjoy life. The market will be here in the fall, ready to decapitate unsuspecting travelers amidst grave news of Obamanomics, round two. Despite the many pressures to sell and unwind, I’ve opted for the “black flag” approach to trading, whereby I only relent punching my enemy in the face when his life has capitulated from existing in this realm.
My cash position is just north of 25% and I live for short squeezes. Literally, I live to apply pressure to people who make it a priority to bet against stocks. I don’t know why, frankly. Perhaps I was genetically altered in the womb to seek out and destroy stock market plungers. Either way, I am quite pleased to see my accounts at new all time highs.
I just sold out of ZNGA because I have no room for losers. I am in CMI, big, for the $100 roll and own an insanely large position in YELP. It happens to be my largest position ever, thanks to the recent surge. Any sane man would opt to reduce the position, for the sake of risk management. I, on the other hand, do not consider myself to be sane and therefore am excluded from such particulars.
As an aside, does anyone else find it absurdly humorous that David Einhorn enjoys to play in the WSOP tournament, fleecing millions from unsuspecting and desperate gamblers? It’s really unfair to have a billionaire star in money management delving into degenerate poker tournaments.
Lastly, there are droughts all over the country, fucking farmers where the sun doesn’t shine. Based upon the laws of nature, expect that to translate into higher food commodity prices, buoying the shares of ag stocks like MOS, POT, LNN and VMI. Although I do not own a position in LNN or VMI, I love the fact that they specialize in irrigation systems. Something tells me those asshat farmers are going to be interested in such systems, as the earth dries up beneath their boots and dust bowls develop and swallow their homes with dirt.
