18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Days like this bring out the haters, the dogs who like to shit on the rug and lick their ass in public. We’ve banned over 15 of you clowns today, some long time readers. I never needed you in the first place. These clowns failed to mention the fact that I savaged you shorts last week, gaining 12%. All that matters is the past few hours. Fuck a dead horse.
Let me tell you something: I have the memory of an elephant and heart of a giraffe. You’re a big zero, only mildly relevant on Twitter, a total joke. Local yocal. You’ve been banned you moron, yet you still post messages for my spam file. Serious, don’t you know no one reads that shit? Spam folders don’t get read, jackass.
I hope you are pleased with today’s tape, fully leveraged short in some retarded ETF. Because when this bitch turns around, and it will!, I am going to fucking torture you. I am building my list of enemies and will cut your ugly heads off before the summer is over.
Yeah, I have anger issues, so fuck you.
UPDATE: What happens when I am banned?
You not only lose access to commenting on the site, but access to the site itself. You WILL NOT be permitted to step foot into these halls again. I promise you that. THIS IS WHAT THE AFTER-LIFE LOOKS LIKE (MEET GREG SOLOMON). Wait 5 seconds for redirect.
I’ve been unusually calm during this nutzo market, holding positions as they get flayed. I have three stocks down more than 7% today, on no news, based upon nothing. Coal stocks, as a whole, are going to zero, yet gold is going up.
Just 30 minutes ago, I was down 1% for the day. I am now down 3% and heading lower.
Everyone is pessimistic, as there is little reason to believe in anything but negativity. I’ve never seen so many one sided opinions, people calling for massive declines, and everyone being right at the same time. Everyone is a pro; and calling for lower prices seems to be a very popular meme these days. Usually the herd is wrong. However, these days, betting against the market has been like shooting fish in a barrel.
Looking ahead, I doubt there will be any buyers in Asia tonight. First thing tomorrow, Europe is going to get their meat chopped off. There is little reason to be long, post anti-climatic bailout, ahead of the Greek elections. You might see some short covering on Friday and depending on the outcome of the elections, a fierce run next Monday. After that, we have the Fed to look forward to. Should things continue to deteriorate, rest assured, QE3 will be on the table.
I was only looking for one great trade before the summer began, in order to kiss the market goodbye until Fall. I did recapture 12% last week and put myself firmly in the green again. However, with today’s -3% and somber outlook, I risk giving back much of last week’s nirvana, over the next few days.
I don’t lose like this. My macro-plays are rarely wrong; therefore, despite what the Twitter mood ring says, I am holding out for something better.
Apple just announced they will further integrate YELP and OPEN into the Apple ecosystem, thereby boosting the shares of both companies. Set aside your bias for a moment and acknowledge the fact that YELP is more of an acquisition target now than ever before. Not only do they have prime internet real estate; but now they have Apple real estate.
How many companies can say that?
The market sucks, yadda, yadda, yadda. I know today’s reversal is painful and many of my stocks are hitting the dirt. But there are some interesting companies out there worth exploring, namely YELP. It’s not just a website, but a verb (no google). Aside from the today’s pin action, having close ties with Apple means higher revenues and earnings.
As you know or not, YELP represents about 30% of my assets, a figure not seen since the FTK days. It’s been one fuck of a roller coaster owning this stock. But at the end of the day, like most large positions of mine, it will fucking work.
Let the Gods bear witness to my proclamation and endorse it with bolts of lightening to the faces of my enemies: it will fucking work.
NOTE: I am now down 1.1% (child’s play) for the day.
Truly, I enjoy throwing people down elevator shafts and knocking mustaches off the ugly. Yesterday’s news of free money made me ebullient with ravenous barbarity. I envisioned a market place littered with the corpses of overzealous shorts, strewn across the globe in size order. Sadly, this did not come to fruition.
In Spain, the IBEX was up 5.9% on open, but closed down 0.65%, dreadfully anti-climatic. As a whole, Europe tanked into their respective closes, leaving us alone in the wilderness with ferocious bears, keen on eating the flesh of the living.
Despite what my position is, as steward of iBC, you can rely upon me to give you an honest assessment and disseminate news, bullish or bearish, in both a timely and honorable fashion. Although it chagrins me to lose money on a day I thought might lead to outright celebration at The Offices del Fly, it is what it is. At this moment in time, I am quieted by the fiends outside my gates. Basic material stocks are being dismantled, partly thanks to the Goldman downgrade of AKS.
Have a look.
My only silver lining is APPL, up on a relatively abysmal day.
I am down 2.3% for the day, as you read this, up about 7% for the year aka “better than most.” In sterling fashion, I recaptured 12% of my AUM last week alone, making today’s decline very acceptable and almost par for the course.
While the vagabonds and the weavers of finance figure out the next move in a seemingly endless game of death-match chess, “The Fly” will wait for his destiny to unravel, live, for all the world to see.
I want to address something that’s been annoying me to no end. What the fuck is wrong with all of you fuckers, especially on Twitter, who want nothing more than complete failure in the markets? Doesn’t it get tiring?
We’re all pessimists, ultimately. But the one sided nature of sentiment seems a bit overdone, to say the least. I get the fact that we all talk our book. If I was short, I’d be rooting for fires and famine too. The only difference is I’d take profits on my shorts and, eventually, look to buy something. Some of you motherfuckers NEVER, EVER buy stocks. It’s hilarious, actually.
Look at today’s rally fizzle. According to market gawkers, today is tragic. This is awfully negative, post Spanish bailout. After all, futures were up 1.5% last night and this was supposed to be the day when all shorts got their dicks cut off, no?
Not really.
Everyone needs to chill the fuck out and cease looking for “the D-day” of stocks, because it isn’t coming. I am not stupid. I see the negative headlines and understand the fact that global growth isn’t so rosy anymore. Moreover, last I checked, I haven’t dedicated my life to defend the honor of bulls. I am just a space alien magician looking to pull another rabbit out of his ass. If the market drops today and I lose money, big deal. I will not enjoy it; but I will live.
Here’s my bottom line: I am fixed in the belief that we are long overdue a rally. Whether it happens today, tomorrow, or next week is immaterial to me, since I will not sell anything. My largest position just exploded by 40% last week; do you really think I am worried about this shit? Come on.
When the Spanish bailout news hit, Dow futures sprang forward by 200. Since then, the mood has moderated and we’re looking for a garden variety 70 point uptick. I’d like to think 70 points is good enough and say “you don’t want to rally too hard, too fast, else you might burn out”; but that’s a crock of shit.
It’s very nice to see we stopped going lower, always a luxury to be enjoyed in finance. But now I need a target.
I like the idea of 10% higher from here. Most of the stocks I am looking at, compared to their historical ratios, are trading at a 10% discount. Naturally, they are pricing in some sort of apocalypse, so it’s to be expected. Nonetheless, earnings will matter, eventually.
It just so happens, at this moment in time, I have an ideal melt-up portfolio. I am balanced amongst many different industries, heavily weighted in my ideologies. That’s the best I can do.
For those of you with weak hearts and nerves, now is a good time to take some profits, or reduce exposure. It’s been a rough spring, and before you know it, hurricanes of historical precedence will be fucking shit up across Ragin Cajun land. Not everyone is cut out to endure fistfuls of anthrax to the face like Senor Tropicana. Go chill out somewhere and vegetate.
I’ll be busy building the next iteration of my time machine, scheduled to launch this summer.
Over the past two weeks, the bears had the bulls reeling from renewed euro collapse fears. These fears permeated the psyche of run of the mill, staid, Wall Street money managers to the point of capitulation. But the bid was there the whole time; you just couldn’t see it on your level two. The funny shit, you all knew the end result. Every single one of you bearshitting motherfuckers knew the central banks would come up with a policy response, because that’s what they do. You relied upon German irrationalism.
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The common theme amongst bears was “well, they will step in, but much, much lower.” Oh really?
See, it’s never about the level, fucker. It’s about momentum. They weren’t about to let this shit get out of hand, like 2008. That is, without a doubt, not the fucking template for consolidating control. 2008 is a recipe for anarchy.
Oil is +2%, Euro is +1%, US futures are +19 and European markets are indicating +2.2%. It’s melt up day, Gents. The bulls have outflanked the bears and will fuck them from behind (no Greece) tomorrow.
Following the splendid news of a Spaniard bailout (no gladiator), “The Fly” did what any normal, mid-30’s, man of importance and seriousness would do: he took to Twitter to besmirch and denigrate the asshats who are short equities, long doom. I poked and prodded and called for a 1,000 point melt up on Monday morning, even though I know it’s impossible. What’s important for you to remember, when analyzing my thoughts here or on Twitter, is that I enjoy instigating trouble more than offering sage advice.
Here are my true thoughts.
I believe the bailout was necessary for the status quo to remain in place. Whether or not the status quo deserves to stay in place is another story. The only way the power elite will abdicate power is through armed revolt. They gave Spain double the amount that was needed.
What does it mean?
Well, by giving them money with ZERO conditions, it means they are open to the idea of printing money. They cannot keep “lending” money like this and expect to be taken seriously. The only way the market will believe them is when they print money and issue euro-bonds. That is the end game. The ramifications of suchness is another story. Let’s take it one step at a time, shall we?
We shall.
By ring-fencing Greece and Spain, they are hoping Italy will just go away. Frankly, Italy doesn’t need a bailout. Despite what the cognoscenti on Twitter believes, Italy is an immensely rich country. They are able to finance themselves. However, they need rates to come down and fast. The only way that happens: euro-bonds.
I think it’s fair to say, through this surprise action, the central banks are not going to let anyone fail, no matter what. This is reflationary and should bode well for stocks. Remember how well stocks did during POMO? Well, get ready for more of that, then some more.
I know you want things to be different this time; you want it all to end. But it’s never different and it will never end.
The first step of the rally was gold and silver. Money always flows to precious metals at the height of panic to the initial reflation trade. After people realize stocks are going up, they rotate out of precious into tech, industrials and retail. I like tech names, but only a select few. I want to be long names that beat numbers and were dragged in the mud only because of the poor market conditions, which is why I am long NXPI and TDC. Former high fliers like RAX should be avoided until they report a good quarter.
Should this market view the bailout as reflationary, commodities will go bonkers to the upside and heavily shorted names will offer outrageous returns. If we sell off on this news, I will be disappointed, but not surprised. The logical trade is to be long this news; but when was the last time this fucking market made any sense?
There is no debate. You cannot retort with another tale of Greek tragedy. The tables of inequity have turned and it is now you on the run. It is now you who have to watch your home burn to the ground, reduced to smoke and ashes. You must flee your city, else fall victim to the dick guillotines, now in the city square.
I tried to fucking teach you of what was to come, yet you chose to believe in fantasy, worshipping phantasm.
I have a good mind for these sort of things. I can smell a rout when it is near. Heed my dire warnings now, ol’ bearshitter, the pain you are feeling now has only begun. Come next week, it will be unimaginable.
At the time of this post, Plutonium Petey was +3.5% on the day, over 12% for the week.
Back to driving rail spikes through the skulls of the deserving.
You said YELP was going to $00.00, yet here it is whoring its way back to glory–fucking everyone in its path. I held because selling was not an option. Selling was not an option because if I sold and this shit happened, I’d never be able to forgive myself. I couldn’t forgive myself because I’m my harshest critic.
Despite being in the top 1% of income earners in America, I don’t feel a sense of accomplishment. It’s not cliche when I say “I fucking grind”–because I really do.
Here we are, yet again, with the market going the fuck higher, when it’s supposed to be down.
THE SOCIAL MEDIA REVOLUTION IS UPON YOU.
You bet against Facecrook because you thought it was humorous. Those motherfuckers have 900 million customers. They can monetize from now until they end of time, without ever adding another user. Jokes aside, betting against FB is fucking stupid at these levels. Now betting against YELP, one of the premier web properties in the world, is not only stupid, but suicide. I promise you, YELP will make me rich-er one day. You will look back on these lonely, dark days, when the social media experiment was in its nascency, and lament over not buying when they told you to sell.
