iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,443 Blog Posts

Momentous Occasion

Today’s upside reversal is huge. The bears were feeling all powerful and shit, lazily professing on Twitter, “long 8 stocks short 10“, talking about the downside. Lo and behold, the Fed stepped in and fucking drove rail spikes through their social media heads.

You fucking faggots are now tied to railroad tracks with a steamer barreling your way (no brakes!).

I stepped in and loaded up with pistols, increasing my position in SWHC. I am telling you now, the fucking south is arming themselves at an alarming rate. They’re gonna rise up on their northern masters one day and secede! I also bought more VHC. Any questions?

There are a few things that I know to be true now.

1. The South will rise again.
2. VHC is going to kick AAPL in the nuts.

To hedge these bets, I have 30% of my book in cash–long Congressional stupidity. For now, however, things look okay. Let’s just pray to baby Jesus that the perverts in Congress don’t give any statements to the press, from now until the closing bell.

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24 comments

  1. speerothekid

    YEEHAW

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  2. clegger_2000

    A reversal as honorable as Nov 16th and 19th follow through?

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  3. TraderCaddy

    Our homeowners association has authorized a multitude of weapons to be hidden in the woods. The blue helmets from the UN will never find the cache.
    We will also be forming our own intranet in anticipation of 0 turning over the Internet to the fascists at the UN.
    Yes, the South will not give up our freedoms, unlike the Yankees and those in Kalifornia.

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  4. Baby Jesus

    All you’re prayers will be answered my son, except there will be no fiscal cliff. Arm yourself against such foolishness with this word.

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    • Baby Jesus

      Baby Jesus can’t spell

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    • republicat

      Baby Jesus Built My Hot Rod –
      Ministry –
      Psalm 69: The Way to Succeed and the Way to Suck Eggs –

      The year – 1992

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  5. Baby Jesus

    Even Gods make mistakes

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  6. JTU

    Amen!

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  7. Rollo Tomasi

    Rise Above…Southern style

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  8. pgwarner

    The FED? I thought it reversed on Boehner’s statement? In any event it reversed. This shit is like Europe. Don’t pay attention to what I do but only to what I say!

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  9. The Eye-Talian Stallion
    The Eye-Talian Stallion

    In this case we should invest in cornpone and chitlins, RC Cola, moonpies, straw hats, overhauls and Confederate flag license plates…

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  10. eagle

    20 long 19 short and 10 wedged..

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  11. Mr. Cain Thaler

    So help me, God, if these conservatives fuck this up again like they did last summer, strike them dead.

    How are we even at this point? Oh, right because the House decided to cede a clear 60-40 majority for a 50-50 say in negotiations, and then gave that committee power to pass any retarded idea they came up with.

    Ergo, we are at this point now.

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  12. DaveyNC

    $TFM, FML

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  13. Clock

    Dr. Fly says: Let’s just pray to baby Jesus that the perverts in Congress don’t give any statements to the press, from now until the closing bell. 😀

    http://tinyurl.com/yfcxmgg

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  14. Narwahl

    “South’s Gonna Do It Again” Charlie Daniels

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    • TaoOfPatrick

      When the sad fiddle music played…The town folk headed for the hills because here comes ole long winded full of shit Abe.

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