A Tune for Dick Fuld

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I just emailed my local congressman, requesting “free bread, cheese and butter,” for the duration of the Paulson administration. As you know, President Paulson is a man for the people, sponsored by a few (formerly) rich investment banks.

With Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. [[LEH]] on the precipice of death, life seems back to normal. Banks are tumbling. Cramer is riddled and “The Fly” is almost back to full strength.

All day, I cursed myself for being long oils. Do you know how many times I tried my hand, long [[DUG]] and [[SMN]] , only to give up like a retarded ape? This is all very unsettling.

Nonetheless, my gains in my shorts have far outstripped my losses, enabling me to gloat in your stupid face. As for questions that pertain to Apple Inc. [[AAPL]] , and why it is a good short now, and not at $180: all perspective.

Let me clarify. At no point did AAPL belong at $180, but the perception was that it couldn’t be stopped. It was bucking trends and holding up in bad tapes—just like Potash Corp./Saskatchewan (USA) [[POT]] was during the first chapter of the banking collapse. However, now that AAPL is vulnerable to sellers again, it is a prime candidate to short sell—since the loyal longs will have no interest in defending it.

That’s my take and it’s the correct one.

In closing, I continue to nibble at [[DIG]] , [[IEO]] and Freeport-McMoRan Copper & Gold Inc. [[FCX]] , with every 1 point downtick. And, I love the prospects of Bill Miller, from Legg Mason, Inc. [[LM]] , soiling himself over the LEH action today—making LM my number 1 pick of all time.

NOTE: My largest position is [[SKF]]

Let’s give the auto-morons 50 billion, the plane-imbeciles 100 billion and the banking-fools another 500 billion. Seriously, following years of being ripped off by contractors overseas (300% markups on hammers, food and supplies), this administration isn’t trying to hide the brazen criminality of it all, sort of like a mid-afternoon bank robbery, no mask.

Don’t misconstrue me. This is not a political statement, since the democrats are gleefully aiding and abetting. This is a matter of losers being elected into office, then fleecing the U.S. Treasury of all of its savings and IOU’s. Why isn’t this a major issue in this years roaming carnivale (elections)?

Either the candidates are too stupid, or they are complicit. Nonetheless, I still believe Bill Miller should resign from Legg Mason, Inc. [[LM]] and run for President. I’d vote for him.

I’d rather have a man, who understands the horror of the banking sector, like Mr. Miller, than some jackass who thinks the economy is on fire. Any reported GDP slowdowns are merely “mental recessions,” no?

I digress.

Steve Jobs still looks sick. Therefore, the “Sick Steve Trade” is still on. Short Apple Inc. [[AAPL]] down to $125.

The global infrastructure boom is toasty, as evidenced by engineering firms Foster Wheeler Ltd. [[FWLT]] , Fluor Corporation (NEW) [[FLR]] , Jacobs Engineering Group Inc. [[JEC]] , URS Corporation [[URS]] and ABB Ltd (ADR) [[ABB]] . In addition, I dislike, with every ounce of adrenaline in my body, shares of Caterpillar Inc. [[CAT]] , Terex Corporation [[TEX]] , Texas Industries, Inc. [[TXI]] , Eagle Materials, Inc. [[EXP]] , Martin Marietta Materials, Inc. [[MLM]] and Vulcan Materials Company [[VMC]] .

I covered my Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. [[LEH]] short, all of it—sub $10. They may go out of business, or not. Either way, the easy money has been made.

With the proceeds, I doubled my [[SKF]] position, added to [[DIG]] , [[IEO]] and [[FXP]] .

Apparently all of Daddy’s money is tied up in the FDIC and Fannie Mae [[FNM]] /Freddie Mac [[FRE]] . If you are a low end brokerage house, like Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. [[LEH]] , you’re just gonna have to take one for the team. Oh, that applies to the worms at Washington Mutual, Inc. [[WM]] too.

It’s too bad energy stocks are getting “death clubbed,” otherwise I’d be having a pretty good day. I think my judgment might have been impaired when I bought more [[DIG]] yesterday. It must have been the lingering effects of all the morphine they gave me.

So sorry.

I know many of you circus geeks expected another 400 points up today. However, without having to elaborate, you are morons.

This credit crisis has a brand new feel to it, no? I mean, we have a new VP candidate in Palin, who probably doesn’t know the difference between an mortgage or a moose. On the other side, we have Joe Biden, who is probably making a fortune lending money out to the desperate. As you know, Joe Biden is in the mafia.

What to do?

Well, for the most part, I’ve been sitting on the couch, chuckling at the dodo birds looking for answers as to why Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. [[LEH]] is so down and so “direly” looking.

Maybe they need to understand the power of fortune cookie?

Anyway, I sold out of all of my Western Refining, Inc. [[WNR]] . Done. And, I have no choice but to buy more [[DIG]] , Freeport-McMoRan Copper & Gold Inc. [[FCX]] and [[IEO]] . It’s one of those situations that you wish you didn’t have to find yourself in; but you’re in it, nonetheless. The damn sector is going cliff diving.

Finally, [[SKF]] still looks very cheap. Which reminds me: who knew about the Treasury bailout and when? If you recall, the banks were rock solid, on big down days, a week prior to the bailout. I remember throwing soup at my trader/servant because of it. Now, all of a sudden, Daddy Warbux splashes them with a couple hundred bill.

Fishy.

With all of the jibber-jabbering and guessing going on here, I am beginning to feel sick, or maybe it’s because my appendix was ripped out by some nazi in tight pants and shiny shoes.

Do me a favor: shut up.

Thanks.

In the meantime, go play with dynamite filled tennis balls, at your local country club.

NOTE: I propose we use this as our new national anthem, comrades.

NOTE: I just want to clarify something, regarding the Treasury bailout. Bill Miller, from Legg Mason, Inc. [[LM]] , and the retards from Pzena Investment Management, Inc. [[PZN]] , come up snake eyes. Always remember that, when playing with those tennis balls.

NOTE II: Fellow tabbed bloggers, your time in the spotlight is over. No longer will “The Fly” share headline status with any of you, since none of you are deserving.

Did it ever occur to any of you that I do not care about your financial advice? For almost two years now, you have been treated with my take on the market, which is of course much better than yours, yet many of you still feel the need to give me advice or relish in my minor setbacks.

Oh, I get it. It’s a cool internet thing to do. Just know, “The Fly” doesn’t base his investment philosophies on 1 week of trading or 1 exogenous event, such as the socialization of America. Furthermore, the only reason why I even bother is two fold: 1. I like to write. 2. Maybe one day the site can generate meaningful revenue (which is highly unlikely). Just feel lucky that I still enjoy to write.

Back to the point: Bill Miller’s stake in Freddie Mac [[FRE]] has vanished. Poof. Just like that.

All of the investors in [[FNE]] and FRE equity were sacrificed at alter of Marx today, in order to help out a few good Chinese and Russian bond holders.

This is terrible news for the housing market. Essentially, more than 75% of the financing for the housing market is now being controlled by the same morons who write welfare checks, or give free health insurance to illegal aliens. Our government will now be in control. Don’t worry folks, they’re the government.

I’ll make this brief, for I am in no mood to sit around the PC.

I bought more [[SKF]] , [[SRS]] and shorted more Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. [[LEH]] and Legg Mason, Inc. [[LM]] .

On the long side, I bought more [[DIG]] and Western Refining, Inc. [[WNR]] .

I believe the correct position should be: dollar weakness, commodity strength, fade the banks, buy the oil dip. Also, gold should benefit from this wretched act of thievery.

You know what’s funny? All of you so called “true Americans,” who are interested in the elections, are backing two guys (Barack and John) who have no idea what the hell just happened today.

It’s disgraceful.

Comrades,

Good luck.

In clinical trials done at “The Fly’s” house, 1 in 4 people (Mrs. Fly already had her appendix removed) received “acute appendicitis,” as a result of eating Dominos’ disgusting rubbery pizza.

I will talk about my absurd ordeal in greater detail, over the next few days. Just know, I was awake for 30 hours, prior to surgery. The hospital I drove myself to is a nazi German prison camp. My surgeon is an SS surgeon, of German decent, who has the personality of “The Fly,” in a weird/ German/Nazi sort of way. And, finally, I checked myself out of that morphine mill after 19 hours.

The hospital had NO AIR CONDITIONING.

Like I said before, these things (egregious events) happen to me on a regular basis.

As for the market: The U.S. Treasury committed fraud on the tax payer, coming in at the senior preferred on both Fannie and Freddie. They should have come in on the bond level, and that’s it.

I suspect the rally will be very short lived. As a matter of fact, I will be shocked if the market sustains a 200+ advance, by the end of the day.

On this bailout, commodities should do well, as well as foreign currencies—specifically from commodity driven economies.

Okay, I need to get the hell off the computer now. I will be working from home and expect to make money tomorrow, even though some of you losers thought I was dead, or something.

NOTE: Short [[DPZ]]

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If you are long the market, listen to me: you are doomed.

One sector at a time, Mother Market is “hurricaning” through your portfolio. Mess around and start buying dips again, you’ll find yourself on the receiving end of a foreclosure.

“The Fly” enjoyed massive wins today, up more than 4%, despite his basic material miscues.

During the day, I sold out of my Southern Copper Corporation (USA) [[PCU]] and Equinix, Inc. [[EQIX]] positions. However, erroneously, I bought more Freeport-McMoRan Copper & Gold Inc. [[FCX]] .

In order to dig myself out of the commodity mess I find myself in, I need to time my next average down, in a very Godly way. In short, my next buys into [[DIG]] , [[IEO]] and Freeport-McMoRan Copper & Gold Inc. [[FCX]] need to be perfect.

In closing, “The Fly”, once again, finds himself heavily short the banks, real estate and China. Do not feel embarrassed by your market inadequacies. Instead, feel solace in knowing there are smarter men out there, crushing the indices, who drive time machines and consider themselves “space alien magicians,” whether it’s true or not.

“The Fly” warned you, countless times, regarding the pending bust in global growth aka “infrastructure plays.” Today, Terex Corporation [[TEX]] confirmed my thesis. Next up: Vulcan Materials Company [[VMC]] .

No need to toot my own horn, since I am in a perpetual state of victory. However, I must admit, my call on the end of global growth, coupled with big trouble within U.S. municipalities, was a Godly one.

Much to my chagrin, I find myself here long Freeport-McMoRan Copper & Gold Inc. [[FCX]] and a variety of oil stocks. I know how my subconscious works— and it’s those damn hurricanes that motivated me to get long.

In hindsight, it was a mistake. But, I am sure I can weasel a way out, via large average downs. Don’t try this at home.

To a large extent, I have been cushioned because of the rise in Western Refining, Inc. [[WNR]] . As you know, I have a nice sized position there.

Going forward, I can’t help but think the banks are in a free fire zone, especially since Cramer said to go buy ’em all, yesterday.

Make no mistake, the bust up in commodities is having a trickle effect. You can’t say I didn’t warn you.

Bottom line: short Cathay General Bancorp [[CATY]] , short PacWest Bancorp [[PACW]] , short Morgan Stanley [[MS]] , short Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] , short East West Bancorp, Inc. [[EWBC]] , short TCF Financial Corporation [[TCB]] , short [[FED]] and short Legg Mason, Inc. [[LM]] is the way to go. And, don’t forget to bet against the retards at Jacobs Engineering Group Inc. [[JEC]] , Foster Wheeler Ltd. [[FWLT]] , Fluor Corporation (NEW) [[FLR]] , ABB Ltd (ADR) [[ABB]] and URS Corporation [[URS]] .

Or, you can just buy [[SKF]] and go for a swim in the pool.