iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,445 Blog Posts

A Rotesque Tale of a Wall Street Kleptomaniac, part 2

While in the bathroom, Bradley Hamlargular was accosted by the bathroom attendant for a small tip, namely for providing talcum powder, paper towels and a dash of cologne. Bradley, who was well known by members of his local country club and business associates for being the most frugal man alive, told the bathroom attendant “fuck off and die in a hole filled with pig vomit.” Stunned, the bathroom attendant grabbed his paper cup filled with $1 tips— and ran out of the bathroom crying.

Composed and collected, Mr. Hamlargular returned to his quaint table, where Peter Rotesque was busy filling out some forms, all pertaining to their business.

“Let’s get this wrapped up Peter, I really need to go,” exclaimed Bradley.

“No problem Brad. I just need you to sign these… (burp!) Oh my Brad, I am sorry about that. It must be all of that club soda I was drinking (laughing nervously without composure). Anyway, like I was saying..”(interrupted by Bradley)

“Just give me the damn forms Peter. Where is my pen?”

“What pen?” said Peter

Bradley fired back “the fucking $20,000 pen that I left on this very table, when I left for the bathroom. That pen.”

Calmly, Peter replied: “I don’t know what you are talking about Brad. I’ve been here working on these papers” (Peter lifted up a 3 inch thick stack of papers and waived them in the air).

Enraged, Bradley left the table and demanded to speak to Andre, the maître d’ of The Four Seasons, who, at the moment, was busy talking on the telephone booking a party of 15 for one of his best customers. Annoyed by Bradley Hamlargular’s presence, Andre snapped his fingers at one of his underlings to assist Bradley with his pressing issue.

Back at the table, Peter paid for lunch (minus a tip), stuffed his briefcase with papers, then got up and walked towards Bradley.

“Hey Brad, come over here. The pen was probably stolen by one of those greasy waiters. Forget about the stupid pen. I will buy you a new pen. Look, I need to get back to the office. Take my pen and sign these papers please.”

Bradley, caught off guard by Peter’s brazen attempt to brush off the loss of his prized $20,000 Grayson Tighe Limited Edition rollerball pen, agreed and quickly signed the documents.

Peter said “thanks buddy. I’ll give you a ring later on” and quickly left The Four Seasons, shuffled into a yellow taxi, destined for his office.

Much to the bewilderment of the anxious cab driver, inside the taxi, Peter (with a big grin on his face) pulled out an oversized mirror from his briefcase, looked into it and said “A great many rotesqueries Peter. A great many rotesqueries.”

To be continued…

Related: Part 1

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Watch Me Very Quietly

Brocade Communications Systems, Inc. [[BRCD]] is running on strong volume, due to renewed takeover chatter. It’s been a few months since I have been an active buyer of the 4g space. With this sell off, I believe it’s time to look over some names and take down some positions. At the present, I am pretty heavy in commodities, particularly because the sector has been beaten like a red headed step child. However, on a rebound, I will sell some of my commodity plays, in exchange for tech.

For the most part, the tech space is in terrific shape, with 4g/LTE rollouts underway and company balance sheets rich with cash. Needless to say, the sector is ripe for consolidation. Currently, TEKELEC [[TKLC]] is my largest tech holding.

With all of this snow, look for sales of rock salt to shoot through the roof. Compass Minerals International, Inc. [[CMP]] is your play.

Should the market close with minor gains or losses, look for it to springboard tomorrow, based upon the will of the stock market Gods. Go ahead and treat yourself to a meal of mutton and sweet ambrosia. Your fortune is about to change for the better.

For the day, I added to my Ctrip.com International, Ltd. (ADR) [[CTRP]] position and initiated new positions in Gammon Gold, Inc. [[GRS]] and [[TAN]] . With regards to TAN: the solar industry is ridiculously cheap. I believe the pressure is due to the fact that Europe, especially Spain, are huge consumers of solar crap. For some reason, investors are pricing in European VAPOR-LOCK mode. It is my belief, these grave concerns are way overblown, which is why I am long Spain, via [[EWP]] .

I sold 25% of my Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] position, for a nice profit, in order to raise cash for new buys. My current cash position is less than 8%, with year to date losses of less than 1%—thanks to yesterday’s run up. Essentially, for me, 2010 has been one great circle jerk, thus far. In order to escape from the claws of boredom and mediocrity, I will need to step up my “A-game,” and trade with greater frequency. In other words, today’s trash is tomorrow treasure etc.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZlaEDzpV9c 616 500]

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Fly Buys: TAN, CTRP, GRS

I bought 15,000 [[TAN]] , based upon laws of reason, @ $8.30. And, I bought 1,000 Ctrip.com International, Ltd. (ADR) [[CTRP]] @ $32.90 and 5,000 Gammon Gold, Inc. [[GRS]] @ $9.58.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, your family hamster will drop dead. And, you may lose money.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_Kk5_Vpuis 616 500]

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Fly Sell: CMI

Just doing a little trimming, in order to rebalance.

I sold 25% of my Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] position, north of $52.20

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Bear Hunt is On

bearhunt

Young man, you are very stupid and naive. The game, better known as globalization, will not be disturbed willingly. The Chinese will not stop buying our treasuries and the Greeks will get bailed out. If you seriously think the Chinese will start dumping treasuries, in order to “get revenge” for some oddball reason, you are delusional. If you believe that, I have a spare time machine for sale. Are you interested?

Enough of the dramatic conspiracy theories. KEEP THAT SHIT ON OTHER low end sites, where tinfoil and burlap are the preferred evening attire.

Into this fucking melt up, I like stocks. I like lots of them, particularly POSCO (ADR) [[PKX]] , Ctrip.com International, Ltd. (ADR) [[CTRP]] , TEKELEC [[TKLC]] and [[EWP]] . That’s right fucker, I like Spain.

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I Am a Dollar Bear

I will fucking destroy you—rip you apart limb by limb. I know what you are thinking. Let me remind you, I do not lose, nor am I accustomed to being in a losing position.

While you fuckers get “greek’d out” short stocks, I will be buying. I will be buying with both hands, eating clams, playing in the sand. I am joining Uncle Fucker ‘Gint in betting against the dollar. The time for half measures and FAZmobiles are over. I will begin buying gold soon, with great vigor and uncompromising tenacity. I have names worth buying; but they are none of your concern.

I am not “mean,” as some of you softer folk like to whine about. I don’t have time to be nice. It fucks with my galactic balance.

In short, Dennis Gartman aka “The Commodity King” is wrong, once again. The market will not trend lower and only morons name themselves “King” of an entire asset class.

You’ve been warned and told. Now be gone.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcXtHdAVcew 616 500]

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Fly Buy: ATPG

I bought 10,000 ATP Oil & Gas Corporation [[ATPG]] @ $14.43.

Disclaimer: If you buy ATPG because of this post, you will get herpes. And, you may lose money.

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GET DRUNK; BUY STOCKS

The greasy monkeys from Greece have been SAVED!! As a result, short sellers are getting the “Greek treatment,” by way of large and unsustainable capital losses. Wins can be found everywhere, especially in the beaten down commodity sector.

My top picks are POSCO (ADR) [[PKX]] , Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] , United States Steel Corporation [[X]] and Nucor Corporation [[NUE]] .

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTWKbfoikeg 616 500]

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Nonetheless

I remain steadfast in my ability to endure major market corrections to the downside. The following is an interview of sorts, for your reading pleasure.

Do you know why “The Fly” is able to withstand such dastardly market action?

Answer: Because he has made so much fucking money over the last 5 years, this shit is simply an after thought.

Do you know why “The Fly” is so fucking confident?

Answer: Because he has a “calculator brain” and is never wrong, ever. He wins when he loses and wins twice when he lost. In a word: WHERESMYROOTBEER?

When will Le Fly start winning again?

Answer: As logic dictates, since he is in a perpetual state of winship, he is winning as we speak, despite what you may or may not think.

Are other bloggers even worth reading these days, aside from the Godly folks on iBC?

Answer: No.

Final question: What have you learned from the trading action of 2010?

Answer: Nothing. I already knew that shit (speeds off, from the comfort of his 80’s style stretch limosine).

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