Got A Lotta More For You

This is very simple. I will lay out three scenarios that many of you find yourselves in, with possible courses of action:

1. Fully invested, long. This is a HORRENDOUS idea, no matter how cheap things look they can always get cheaper. I know many of you learned that lesson in 2008. If I were you, thank God I am not, I’d sell 25-50% of my longs immediately, putting 10% of the proceeds in one of the following: [[FXP]] , [[TZA]] , [[VXX]] or [[SKF]] .

2. More than 50% cash, 20% short, 30% equities. You are in a sweet spot, in my opinion. If anything, keep your positions monitored on a spreadsheet and cover shorts when the weighting gets out of whack. The weighting of the shorts will become oversized when they go your way. So, do yourself a favor and “reverse nibble,” by taking profits in increments.

3. 100% short. This is a very dangerous position to be in, especially since the government is explicit in its desire to see higher stock prices. If this is you, it’s important to remember 2009 and how gay you were for the past 18 months. Book the trade, get to cash and hedge your shorts with some longs.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oz2xvDLq3mI&feature=related 616 500]

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Any of you fuckers want to doubt the sublime harmony of mathematical precision aka The PPT, now?

I didn’t think so.

Live Crash Coverage:
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsCeSkthACM 616 500]

El Erian on the Greek crisis:

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbS7fCMPT48 616 500]

Cramer on The Procter & Gamble Company The Procter & Gamble Company The Procter & Gamble Company [[PG]] today:

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4jotxBOhNI 616 500]

Classic Krull

His experience in today’s bloodbath.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqKAPRWFKZ4&feature=watch_response_rev 616 500] [youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TH9BsfyI3JI&playnext_from=TL&videos=75Z8e4640mA&feature=sub 616 500]

MOOBER’S Vid of the crash, as experienced in The PPT (Thanks MOOBS!)

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbynkUDnd7I&&feature=watch_response_rev 616 500]

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So, some IT guy fucked up and broke a few servers, likely by dropping a large vat of olive oil over the NASDAQ server rack, causing a market crash. ROFL!!!!

You have to be kidding me. I wish heavy litigation and many firings at the nazz.

Despite the big reversal, and pardon me for being out of the loop today, nothing changes. There is still a MASSIVE unraveling of the yen carry trade, via [[FXY]] . And, gold is actually serving as a safety asset: scary. Into the bell, I am buying more [[VXX]] and I already sold out of Trico Marine Services Inc [[TRMA]] , [[MWW]] and Sociedad Quimica y Minera (ADR) [[SQM]] .

To sum up today’s epic trading session:

Yours truly was busy getting an endoscopy, while the bottom dropped out of the market (I am fine).

Most of my bloggers took the day off, because they don’t give a shit about the site. I need to fire everyone.

Someone printed The Procter & Gamble Company [[PG]] under $40.

Flight to safety is in vogue, a la The Hugh Hendry, via [[TLT]] .

[[VXX]] exploded to the upside, as predicted.

I am up 1.5% for the day.

Finally, THIS IS NOT OVER. Quit acting like you know what you are talking about. From my perch, you know shit.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_sY2rjxq6M 616 500]

UPDATE: Words of wisdom

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The thing that scares me the most is the fact that gold is up. People are running to safety. This is not over. If you bought the bottom, entertain me and take profits. Right now, my [[VXX]] position is 20%+ weighted in my portfolios, coupled with my 40% cash, I am actually up on the day. I do not mean to brag on a day like this, because I’ve been on the receiving end of the shit stick. But, you really need to come to grips with the fact that you have no fucking idea what you are doing.

Take heed, else feel the brunt of a full blown sovereign debt crisis.

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Unfortunately, I had a scheduled medical procedure today (I am fine). I gave the keys to the blog to my fellow bloggers, and aside from a few, they dropped the fucking ball, woefully.

At any rate, as the effects of anesthesia wears off, I see the market is making a fierce rally off the low. However, and listen to me, THIS IS A DO NOT BUY MARKET. The yen carry trade has completely unraveled. Gold is through the roof, as is [[TLT]] . People are RUNNING into safety assets. Do yourself a favor and watch this one, instead of playing it. I have not sold a single share of [[VXX]] , because it can go to $50, if things get real sporty.

I attribute the 1,000 point drop to robot trading gone wrong. Nevertheless, do not be surprised to see Asia get poleaxed tonight, followed by a whoosh lower in Europe. In other words, in the words of that bug black guy in Pulp Fiction, “this is far from over.”

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Greece has no choice but to rape itself because they cannot devalue their currency, since it’s not really their own (euro). Essentially, they have no control over monetary policy. Their choices are simple: default or implement severe spending cuts, which will most certainly lead to gripping deflation. As such, the deflation cycle will increase the debt burden. The most likely scenario, in my opinion, is Greece dropping the Euro and printing away like a little midget Bernanke.

The larger issue is Spain. Once the vultures get through with Greece, Portugal and Ireland, they will fuck with Spain, who represents 10% of the EU’s GDP. This is where the EU game will end, unless Santa Claus gifts that shit bag of a continent with free gold bricks and shit. Do you think Germany and France will finance Spain to the tune of $500 billion, if need be? PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

That’s as funny as a margin call on Christmas.

Let’s be honest, these sovereign debt issues are really bank issues, dressed up in fancy suits and ties. By bailing out Greece, the IMF is saving French and German banks. Who do they think they are kidding?

Recent IMF bailouts include: Latvia, Lithuania, Hungary, Romania: all fucked. Done.

So, my question to you is: once we get done with burning the EU down, will the financial arsonists target US municipalities? Like members of the EU, states cannot print money. So, like Greece, they need to default or make draconian spending cuts, which, once again, is incredibly deflationary. States that have severe debt issues include: New Jersey, California, Connecticut, New York and Illinois.

The likelihood of the Federal government letting any of those states default is minimal. So, with that in mind, we are heading for rapid inflation or deflation, of the most egregious kind. However, until that happens, the tenuous recovery might get clown raped by the events unraveling in the EU—all reasons to be very cautious with your investment objectives.

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Just two hours ago, many of you rookie, ham and eggers, were imploring yours truly to cast away my [[VXX]] position. You declared, in emphatic tones: “I am selling short the VIX at once. We shall endeavor higher from here, mainly because my cock is small and my head is monstrous.”

Lo and behold, fast forward a few hours and you are sucking your own cock. Which reminds me, enemies of iBankCoin shall fear the sharper end of my pen, for I have you in my sights. More on this later.

To sum up today’s confusing trading session: we are fucked something awful I sense panic. As a result, I sold out of a shit load of holdings, including Cameron International Corporation [[CAM]] (I added to this earlier today), raising my cash position to 40%. Also, I added to my Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] position, bringing my total to 6,000 shares, with an average cost in the high $153’s. Like I said, I will buy up to 10,000 shares. So, in the big scheme of things, I have a lot of buying to do, hopefully lower. Some of you peons will never understand that, which is why you do not manage money for a living. And, I added to my POSCO (ADR) [[PKX]] position, in the event the market rips higher. As of now, that trade looks like a loser.

Nevertheless, I am well positioned to weather the Greek backdoor action, with 40% cash and 15% in [[VXX]] . God willing, I will be using said cash to buy your margin liquidations, inside of a month or so.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhLhdKGINzU 616 500]

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Don’t leave comments on my blogs, especially when you are just some jackass reader, with no more than 3 years of investment experience. I spit on you from 500 meters away.

Do not ever, ever, ever, question my market strategy, for it is weeks, if not months, if not years, ahead of yours. Actually, most of you clam fuckers don’t have strategies. All you do is look at charts and throw bricks at balloons, hoping to pop one with money in it.

Let’s go over a few things, all pertaining to the art of investing.

As indicated in a previous post, I sold out of a plethora of stocks this morning, in order to raise cash. Said cash has a dual purpose: to finance the purchase of future core positions/timely trades. And it will be used to lower the overall beta of my portfolios. With the cash, I bought more Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] , Cameron International Corporation [[CAM]] , POSCO (ADR) [[PKX]] and a little more [[VXX]] .

For the record, I am not looking for [[VXX]] to trade higher in the short term. The purpose of the VXX, like [[TLT]] , is to counter trend an up-ticking market. When will I sell [[VXX]] ? Whenever the fuck I am ready to or when the shadows near my favorite urinal tell me it’s time to blow out.

With the reversal in the market today, I sense a short squeeze is coming, which should force the burlapped bearshitters into egregious murderholes. However, the European debt crisis is not over, you dumb jackass. Do yourself a favor and get light or your wife is going to divorce your dumbass for losing the family nest egg.

At the present, I am looking forward to trading out of my Cameron International Corporation [[CAM]] position, north of $41. And, I think POSCO (ADR) [[PKX]] has a quick 10 points of upside.

The following is a paid promotion from none other Mr. R.W. Pelican, for no reason whatsoever.
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKlq8UWeI9I 616 500]

UPDATE: I changed my mind. I sold out of [[CAM]], north of $39.70

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After selling out of outlier, non-essential to thesis names, I am putting a little cash to work, buying 500 Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] @ $149.30 and 10,000 Cameron International Corporation [[CAM]] @ $38.65. And, I bought 2,000 POSCO (ADR) [[PKX]] @ $105.15.

I bought 2,000 [[VXX]] @ $23.23.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, your governments austerity measures will be quite harsh. And, you may lose money.

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I want to address the rookie/punk trader, who is fully margined out in stupid commodity stocks, waiting for the market to resume its uptrend. Mind you, this is the same guy who chided “The Fly” for being defensive, with stupid comments and inane financial advice. Yet, here I am attempting to help him out now. My kindness does not have boundaries.

Okay, so here goes.

Don’t get excited about the riots in Greece. They are Greek and have nothing better to do. However, watch for the sovereign debt crisis to snowball through Europe, effectively stealing the hearts and minds of investors. In my estimation, until this is put to the back burner, this is a DO NOT BUY market. While it’s true, I’ve been adding to my Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] position. It’s also true that I have like a gagillion dollars to allocate to such investments. For the average loser, such as yourself, you cannot afford to make mistakes, since it will wipe you the fuck out and send you to the homeless shelter for soup and shit.

If you are 100% long, sell immediately to lower the boom. Effective downside hedges are [[VXX]] , [[SKF]] , [[TZA]] and [[FXP]] . Normally, I do not condone purchase of 2-3x ETF fuckery. However, in a rising volatility environment, levered ETF’s do very well, especially if you can catch a nice crash or two.

With my money, I intend to add to my [[VXX]] position and suspend any buy orders I had in mind, due to my belief that this crisis is still in its early stages. When the bounce comes, use it to lighten up.

My target cash position is 50%. Right now, I am about 25% cash, 13% [[VXX]] .

UPDATE: I sold out of Cytec Industries Inc. [[CYT]] , Southwestern Energy Company [[SWN]] , Johnson Controls, Inc. [[JCI]] , The AES Corporation [[AES]] and Newpark Resources, Inc. [[NR]] . My cash is rising, indeud.

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