Bernanke is a Bearded Clam

Okay, I am about to say “fuck off” to my large [[TLT]] position. At this level, I am mildly profitable. If I sold here, essentially, I wasted 1 month of my life waiting for some retarded deflationary vortex to take hold, all for nothing. Oh, fucking, well.

Look for the Greeks to rape themselves, late April through May. They need to issue a shit load of paper and I seriously doubt it will attract a lot of demand. I mean, the short dated stuff (1 year) is being issued with 6% yields! Compared to German paper of 1%, it will take great Spartan courage to pull off some large long dated issuance.

The trucking industry is humming again, as evidenced by Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] , Titan International, Inc. [[TWI]] and a multitude of parts makers. I will look to edge into Titan International, Inc. [[TWI]] , at my earliest convenience.

Also, the chemical industry is smoking hot, all to do with foreign demand. Stocks like Cytec Industries Inc. [[CYT]] and Lubrizol Corporation [[LZ]] will fucking smash numbers this quarter, in my humble opinion of course.

Finally, I want to buy stocks with big cash positions that have lagged. One such name is Novatel Wireless, Inc. [[NVTL]] . Another such name is “go fuck yourself, do your own research, pal.”

In short, there are shortages in semiconductors, forcing prices up–enabling retards to bank coin in semis, all the while I sit here in Treasuries. I am 100% aware of the amount of skill and knowledge that is being wasted here.

Developing…

P.S. Bernanke is a bearded clam.

The market run up is being fueled by loose cash and wrong-headed shorts. We are in a perpetual state of short squeeze, where every day means the death and “whoring out” of a bearshitters ultra-asshole portfolio. In my estimation, it always makes sense to scour for new potential squeezes that might bring grave harm and cataclysmic, irreversible capital losses to those who make a living betting on America’s demise.

Naturally, the best way for a person such as myself to find such names is by using the most powerful analytic engine on the internets, The PPT.

The following 10 names (top 10 lists are all of the rage, always have been) are stocks that just got flagged “buy” for improving price action, with exceptional short positions. Any stubborn move higher in said names can result in a most dreadful and egregious short squeeze drama, all to be aired live here on iBankCoin.

Screen Criteria
(% of shares sold short above 15%, technical score of 3.00-3.50 out of a possible 5)

Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] GTx, Inc. [[GTXI]] Scholastic Corporation [[SCHL]] XenoPort, Inc. [[XNPT]] Builders FirstSource, Inc. [[BLDR]] Overseas Shipholding Group Inc. [[OSG]] Briggs & Stratton Corporation [[BGG]] GameStop Corp. [[GME]] [[PLCE]] Saks Incorporated [[SKS]]

As I slowly take on the hated persona of a burlap wearing bearshitter, I am reminded of the days when investing in stocks had risk. Back in the old days, stock fluctuated between gains and losses, prior to making decisive moves. Today, we have an “MNCS” market to the upside, for no reason other than momentum. The dollar isn’t going down anymore and the economy is not ripping to the upside. We are simply chasing momentum.

Well, while we are here, enjoying the decadent scenery of winship, we might as well play along, until the bomb hits and ruins our view. On strength, I like TriQuint Semiconductor [[TQNT]] , General Cable Corporation [[BGC]] and chemical play Sigma-Aldrich Corporation [[SIAL]] .

Just so you know, I’ve decided to air one new Fly cartoon show per week. Like HBO, “The Fly” needs to adhere to strict schedules, in order to maintain internal discipline. So, if you are interested in part IV, tune in at 8:00pm, Sunday night.

After a mild/tepid dip, the asshole dip buyers have gobbled up the losses and turned the market green, not so different than Rapunzal turning her hair into gold. We have lift off in a number of CRE names, effectively bringing immediate losses to my fresh out the box [[SRS]] position. Like I said, one way or another, I will sell it tomorrow.

My little Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] is showing signs of life and [[CBD]] is dipping here. I might add to my [[CBD]] position here, or perhaps one or two points lower.

Finally, let it be no surprise to any of you that [[TLT]] is higher, yet again. Despite strange Chinese men harassing Senor Tropicana on Twitter, long bonds continue to hold its value, AND MORE. Nevertheless, as much as I like to make fun of everyone for hating on bonds, I can’t stay in this bullshit for too much longer. It’s turning my once exciting life into one of a moribund nature.

Top picks: TriQuint Semiconductor [[TQNT]] , Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]]

As we enter earnings season, I will bet you donuts to doorknobs investors severely punish companies that miss earnings expectations, in the most egregious way. Remember, while you smirk at your screen, feeling all good about yourself and shit, the market is entering “guillotine season” with lots of exposed neck, if you know what I mean. While it’s true, I’ve been far too conservative during the recent move higher. It’s also true, there have been numerous times when I have been far too aggressive. Everything balances out, sort of, in the end.

Okay, so going into earnings, I strongly suggest under weighting bank stocks, especially the regionals. Even though I am short CRE, via [[SRS]] , I expect most CRE names to beat expectations. Within tech, there is no denying the cycle is ridiculously beneficial to the majority of semis and networkers. However, just know, China is greatly decreasing funding for 3g network roll out, to the tune of 20+%. I’d avoid names like [[ERIC]] and Alcatel-Lucent (ADR) [[ALU]] , as if they were the black plague.

If I was to bet on one sector blowing away numbers, it would be the chemicals. If you are so inclined, get long a basket and turn the monitor off.

For the most part, earnings will be good, across the board; but will they be good enough?

The Fly Meets DevilDog’s assistant, part 1

The Fly Meets DevilDog’s assistant, part 2

The Fly Meets DevilDog’s assistant, part 3

UPDATE: A sneak preview at the meeting with a Mr. Devil Dog (I am done with these vids, for at least a few days. Too busy).

Let’s be upfront with each other, shall we? Aside from watching or reading money managers on the teevee or in print, you are, essentially, clueless with regards to money management. Your “interest rates to the moon” theory, although entertaining, is equal to “chart-art” being a science. To say that [[TLT]] is not an awesome buy under $90 is like saying soccer is better than baseball or chicks with dicks are better than the old fashioned type.

Look here, buddy, don’t assume interest rates are going higher, just because some miscreant said so. We are Japan and interest rates are Godzilla. Ultimately, our buildings get stomped the fuck out and many people get eaten, but we win in the end. That’s all that matters, folks. We win in the end.

As presently constituted, I am Dr. Neutrality. I do not like my soup too hot, not cold. I like it lukewarm, just prior to tossing it in your face. I have 18 open position and TriQuint Semiconductor [[TQNT]] and [[SRS]] are my favorite two, for separate reasons of course. Additionally, I like General Cable Corporation [[BGC]] , [[TAN]] and Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] .

In short, we are literally days away from sipping on sinister mugs of black smoke. Are you man enough to handle it?

I bought 50,000 TriQuint Semiconductor [[TQNT]] north of $7.60 and 10,000 [[SRS]] @ $5.57.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, the next time you are in Vietnam, you will fall off your bicycle and crack your brains open. And, you may lose money.

I sold out of Adobe Systems Incorporated [[ADBE]] , in the low $35’s.

I have a new obsession, all to do with creating robot voice sounding cartoons. I am not particularly sure you guys see the humor in it, as I do. For the first time ever, I am asking for your opinion, as I do not wish to waste my time making short films just for my own entertainment.

With regards to the “stock exchange,” bog standard, it appears I am banking coin again, despite your petty curses and low grade witchcraft. As we climb towards our daily point quota (40), I am blessed with gains in [[TLT]] , [[CBD]] , [[TAN]] , TriQuint Semiconductor [[TQNT]] and General Cable Corporation [[BGC]] . Looky here, even my little [[SRS]] position is up a chickens liver. Hot damn it, I am fucking good.

On a serious note, my blogs (at times) offer a great deal of confusion to the average goat fucker, who wants financial advice in the same manner as he orders Big Macs. At the present, I have 30% of my assets in [[TLT]] , 10% in [[VXX]] 30% long equities and the rest in cash. [[SRS]] is one bearish position, which represents a very small portion of overall assets, so small it is not mentioned in this post.

In short, I can no longer guesstimate when the market will drop. All I can do is prepare for the eventuality, while trying to make a few million (a mill here a mill there) as that “eventuality” pans out.