No Inflation Update

Thanks to the Federal Reserve, we have no inflation. Having said that, we also have inflation. Not to confuse your dog brains or anything, but inflation is not what you think it is. Real inflation is something that only the Chinese and the Indians have to deal with. Here in America, the Federal Reserve defeats all forms of inflation with their “inflation laser beam” guns.

Year to date, cotton is up 42%, tin 21%, nickel 16%, cocoa 11%, coffee 8%, corn 8%, uranium 6% and cattle 5%. Hell, Brent crude is up a fuckload too, as well as all forms of heating oil, lending (mind you) to terrific crack spreads for the refiners. Should these spreads sustain, shares of HOC, VLO, ALJ, DK and TSO will continue to soar.

The dollar is down 0.4% today, putting it down 10% over the past 9 months.

What does this mean for a fucktard, such as yourself?

Well, for one, the idiot clothes you wear will have to go up in price. And, the next time you book a trip to Europe, prepare to get fleeced. Higher commodity prices is a not so subtle way of  governments telling you to go fuck yourselves. Pay the toll; shut your fat face. Speaking of fat, you really need to stop eating so much. It’s making the price of rice go up.

The only logical thing to do, when faced with such egregious forms of “non-inflation,”  is to milk the farmer, ahead of the planting season. Farmers will be spending money like rappers this spring. Count on that. Just going off the back of a napkin here, I reckon the shares of AGU, MOS, DE, CF, TEX, CAT, BG, MON, ANDE, LNN, VMI, just to name a few, are going a lot higher. Ya’ll fuckers need to recognize this shit right here and stop thinking you are outside the bun. You stupid motherfuckers: you are the bun and Bernanke is hungry for some burger. All of you are simply afterthoughts in the big scheme of things.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcWkNXm_wR8 616 500]

Brent crude is soaring on this news.

BORN is coming out with earnings one of these days. They’re Chinese. Therefore, it’s a fucking mystery. They should just send out the release in fortune cookies and focus really hard on getting their populous drunk. Not knowing how their numbers look: I am a bit worried about input costs, with regards to corn. On the other hand, RECORD amounts of people are moving in from rural areas to urban, which is VERY BULLISH for beverage consumption. Ask any private equity investor in Asia: “what is the best way to take advantage of Asian emergence?”

Answer: buy beverage stocks. There is a direct correlation between creation of wealth and fuckers wanting to get drunk.

Also, I am loading up on BZ, ahead of numbers, scheduled to be released next Friday morning. I realize this is a risky trade; but is it really? The fuckers from Boise have been raping the estimates for awhile now. Considering the ramp up in the economy, I sincerely doubt they will drop the ball now. Having said that, I’ve been clubbed in the balls before.

I am aggressively long the commodity space, long the following: NGD, EXK, MOS, AGU, KEG and ATPG. Go ahead and look at those fuckers run, then ask me how my day is going.

Essentially, “The Fly” is throwing dice; but they’re fucking loaded.

I added to both BZ, MOS and NGD.

UPDATE: I started new positions in WFC, C and ADBE.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, you will develop a severe case of Tourettes syndrome. And, you may lose money.

I sold out of VCLK, north of $16.50

If you are managing a private equity fund and have money to invest, you best do it soon or you will have a difficult time raising future funds. Yesterday’s bid for FDO is a side effect of excess liquidity in the system. Corporations have been borrowing money at super low rates for almost two years now. And, private equity managers have been sitting on cash hordes, whilst corporate balance sheets improved, drastically. They have to put money to work, which, undoubtedly, means big premiums.

My VCLK reported great numbers yesterday and is ripping tits off in pre-market trading. I think yesterday’s losses will be made up today, AND MORE, all thanks and praise to the Lord himself, Ben Bernanke. Looking over my algorithms, I am feeling the action in AAU, KBX, WEBM and BZ. I may buy all of them today. Stay tuned.

Also, I am very bullish on Ag names and will add to both MOS and AGU on dips.

Finally, within tech, I am looking at new issue COR. And, with the VCLK strength, QNST is interesting to me here, as well as WPPGY. Also, due to the collapse of WTI crude, I am very much interested in the refiners, as their crack spreads have exploded to the upside.

NOTE: RC set up the South bracket. Sign up you fucking imbeciles. What the fuck are you waiting for? You don’t like free money? Unreal.

Fuck this sell off. As an aside, I eagerly await the earnings announcements of two of my holdings. I do not like holding through earnings. However, as an investor who has a modicum of decency, sometimes it’s necessary to hold stocks for more than 3 days.

As I pen this bullshit blog, I am down about 1%, thanks to the homofied pinless hand grenade action in AGU, MOS and ATPG. Please do not misconstrue my random rants as concern. I literally have no fear, when it comes to stocks.

Why?

BECAUSE THE MONEY I HAVE MADE IS NOT MINE IN THE FIRST PLACE. I made all of this money, over the past 10 years; but it’s not mine. I never earned it. I simply planted seeds and they grew into tall oak trees. If my trees get cut the fuck down, I will plant more seeds. It’s the nature of the game. Either piss or get pissed on.

Allocation stands at 95% long, 5% cash.

I bought 5,000 BZ, while spitting in the face of Mother Market.

Pardon my absence; I’ve been busy napping. It’s a lifestyle change that all should follow. Very simply, at 9:30am go buy $7 million worth of OEX calls, then go take a nap. By the time you wake up, that $7mill will be worth anywhere from $9-12 mill: INSTANT WINSHIP. It’s called “sleeping while working”: and it’s the way of the future.

Tired of busting your ass at the old steel mill? No problem. Go borrow $7 million from your local bank aka “asshattery” and chuck it into the market. Fuck Peter Lynch and Warren Buffet: sleeping while working is the only way to live. I suggest you try it sometime.

In other news, ag stocks are getting smashed today, taking down my AGU and MOS. It’s profit taking, nothing more, nothing less. However, strength in precious metals is lending, mind you, profits for my pocket. My NGD and EXK concoction is paying off in spades, whatever the fuck that means. Aside from KEG and VCLK, my holdings are down. Total draw-down, thusly: 0.5%.

Off to drink several cups of coffee.

I have a 35 year old client who is worth about $9 million. He likes to refer to himself as “rich as fuck.” He is like the mayor of his small “bullshit” New Mexican town (as I like to call it), owner of at least 10 houses and many stupid buildings and several businesses. He likes to invest in stocks that “look good” and he is willing to drop millions on “hunches.” He once lost $2 million on a penny stock he thought was “cheap as fuck.” Needless to say, he and I are good friends and I think he has a mental illness.

Look here, pal, this market is shitting on old dudes. The guys who are unwilling accept the reality shall get the sharp end of the stupid stick. In general, old people are reprehensible. Anyone over 47 1/2 is not welcome on this site. And, in an effort to instill a sense of reason and democracy here, anyone under the age of 25 best leave now, else have their punk asses beaten the fuck down. Let it be known, “The Fly” has no problem breaking your bones into dust. I walk around with African tribal masks and kick people in wheel chairs into idle manholes. Do you really think your swiss army knife scares me?

Back to my crazy client. He says “let’s buy the fuck out of this market.” And I happen to agree with him. While it’s true, he is a “rich as fuck” spoiled natural gas well having bastard. It’s also true that he embodies the animal spirits of the typical American.

THE BOTTOM LINE: While you wait for this market to come down, we piss on your heads. If you stay there long enough, spoiled fuckers with money to burn, living in oddball cities in New Mexico, will be shitting on you. Quit being such a piker: get in the game.

Happy fucking Valentine’s day you little bitches.