iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,460 Blog Posts

Abenomics For the Win, and Fat People for the Loss

There is nothing that I respect more than a fat guy eating a table filled with 10,000 calories of food. The guy is fat as fuck and knows it, doesn’t give a shit about it, and continues to eat until his ultimate demise. For mortals, persons such as yourself, you’re all subject to a Mortal Kombat fatality at some point in your lifetimes. Some of you will perish by fire, heart explosion, or via stomach explosion through ‘extreme gluttony.’

It’s the fat guy on a diet, a wrong diet, that makes me want to kill him. He doesn’t exercise or eat less. Instead, he attaches himself to oddball diets, like eating lard out of pigs heads or zero carbs, all bacon’d displays of idiocy.

Skinny people of the world know that the feel of being skinny surpasses any transitory flavor in your buttered potatoes. For thousands of years, skinny folks have ruled the world. We are agile and able to think clearly, without being distracted by donuts and mashed cheesed potatoes– with side orders of bananas and creamed puffs. It should come as no surprise to many of you to learn that obesity is not a problem amongst communities with money. For the most part, they are learned peoples, able to exhibit the basic principles of discretion and discipline over fried chicken wings, pizza, and mozzarella sticks.

Oh, by the way, Japanese GDP just came in at 3 point fucking 9 percent. Abenomics for the win. Dr. Benjamin Bernanke’s legacy continues to grow, as will the deepness of “The Fly’s” size 33 pants pockets tomorrow.

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11 comments

  1. rangersfan

    You still in $FEYE ,if so whats your target?

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  2. kkj

    33? You fat fuck

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  3. Marc David

    Do you even lift?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OloLS5kTrVs

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    • jpmorgains

      “Nice set though, you didn’t touch your chest….DO YOU EVEN LIFT?”

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  4. randominterrupt
    randominterrupt

    This is why Fly puts unnecessary “ed”s on all fat food forms, to show, first of all, that skinny people are unfamiliar with such factoried slops, but also to indicate that gluttons are consumed by the past. Fly into the future!

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  5. ironbird

    Why does Bloomturd talk shit about China in every other article? China is ripping again tonight. Kind of looks like we did in the 80’s and 90’s. Price to earnings on MSFT ORCL GE etc etc were pretty fucking high back then. Whatever you do. Do not buy China. According to Bloomturd.

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  6. juice

    “If I was running $1 million today, or $10 million for that matter, I’d be fully invested. Anyone who says that size does not hurt investment performance is selling. The highest rates of return I’ve ever achieved were in the 1950s. I killed the Dow. You ought to see the numbers. But I was investing peanuts then. It’s a huge structural advantage not to have a lot of money. I think I could make you 50% a year on $1 million. No, I know I could. I guarantee that.”– Warren Buffett

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  7. mx2101

    Interesting quote Juice. On the other hand, Buffett completed some sweet deals only huge financial bulk could handle, correct?

    I offer a paraphrase of Buffett’s quote:

    “With my modest savings account, I could survive for longer time homeless and unemployed, when compared to being homeless and working for low wages.”

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  8. hockey guy

    Marc…LOL!.. worth a look.

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  9. boyaj

    Loeb for the win as well

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