Markets Massively Surge, Annihilating Shorts, Crushing the Hopes of Savage Doomers

Just when the market looked like it was readying to tip over and fall into the blades — BAM — it breaks the fuck higher. Nothing is stopping this stampede of buyers from foraying around and imposing a deep hegemony upon the heads of the shorts. I was mindful to not buy anything that could sink lower on me and feel good about my prospects, albeit I’m underperforming.

I am net long and that’s the way life should be, unless of course we’re barreling towards perdition and the credit crisis that began in 2007 reemerges with a fresh black bloom of doom.

That being said, markets were non-stop to the upside today — because that’s what it does after brief periods of under-performance. If forced to guess, I’d venture we’ll continue higher tomorrow. But just in case, you should have hedges and also lots of cash. This is one big ass white candle and the technical damage is still present and ominous.

But today was a good day, great for some, meh for others. In the span of an entire year, it’s just another salvo off the bank shooting left into the ocean to be eaten whole by whales. You small pikers out there get to nibble on chum and small morsels of shrimp every so often.

Enjoy.

iBankCoin policy update: No more stock picks on free site and free trials for Exodus will be ended tonight. Grifters are to blame. Be well and fuck off.

Let me get some news out of the way first. Powell is sucking Wall Street’s cock today.

Powell began a speech Tuesday in Chicago by addressing “recent developments involving trade negotiations and other matters.”

“We do not know how or when these issues will be resolved,” he said in prepared remarks. “We are closely monitoring the implications of these developments for the U.S. economic outlook and, as always, we will act as appropriate to sustain the expansion, with a strong labor market and inflation near our symmetric 2 percent objective.”

Powell’s comments came at the “Conference on Monetary Strategy, Tools and Communications Practices,” a kickoff for an examination the Fed is conducting this year about the tools it has to meet its goals as well as the way it is communicating its actions to the public.

Markets are +400 and everyone thinks they’re going to make it.

On the issue of Exodus — two things to note.

1. We are in the middle of a total rewrite. It won’t be called Exodus anymore — BTW. Total upgrade, full monty, greater product coming your way for the same price.

2. Last year we started doing free trials for the product, in spite of the fact it would attract a certain amount of grifters that are in fact incorrigible.

I was right, sadly. Fuckers started to make fake emails — scheme in various ways to extend their trial and not pay the price of admission. Since I’ve been operating for over a decade, I have enough data on record to show me grift vs disinterest. You Sirs are grifters of the lowest order.

Right now, as we speak, FREE TRIALS ARE BEING FUCKING ELIMINATED from the game of play here. I’ve provided you fucking faggots with countless hours of entertainment, top shelf financial commentary, and of course stock advice — always steering you towards high probability strategies and away from trading like morons.

DO THE QUANT. DO THE QUANT. I BUILT IT AND IT’S WORKING. COME SEE IT IN Exodus.

And what do you do to thank me? You fucking steal from me — like little greedy midget thieves stealing bubble gum in a store. For the love of war, the platform provides endless data and a massive community of traders for $1.36 a day — and you thought it’d be nice to simply take out free trial after free trial after free trial — because “The Fly” wouldn’t mind — because he does this shit for fun and for charity.

Fuck off. Trials have ended. Go in peace.

Not impressed by this open and feel it could be short lived. Yesterday before the close, I stepped in and bought TQQQ. Today I sold it for a +4.5% profit.

Oh, that’s right — you didn’t know about it because, as I said yesterday, I’m taking the summer off from providing you fuckers with free stock picks. You savages have had it good for too long — getting fat and greasy off the land of Fly — siphoning my high IQ trading and pretending it was your own. Well, I’ve got news for you bucko — if you want high IQ stock advice, you’re gonna have to get in line and join Exodus — just like the rest of the rats.

Chinese tourists spend more in this country than any other country — approximately $36b per annum. Today China issued a travel warning to the US, citing all sorts of shit, from school shootings and Trump’s police state, which in theory should weaken the prospects of luxury goods retailers, like TIF — providing Chinese tourism wanes due to this stupid travel warning.

$TIF falling nearly $3 in the pre-market after they affirmed Q2 EPS to decline year/year, with the jewelry giant seeing sales pressures from the effect of lower foreign tourist spending

— Jon Najarian (@jonnajarian) June 4, 2019

China’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs announced Tuesday a safety warning for Chinese citizens and companies in the U.S.

The Ministry of Culture and Tourism also issued a warning Tuesday for Chinese tourists traveling to America.

These announcements follow the Ministry of Education’s warning on Monday to Chinese students studying abroad that noted recent U.S. restrictions on some Chinese student visas.

In other news, US futures are +200 and the 10yr treasury is up 3bps to 2.11%. I am couched by the fact that WTI is off by another 0.8%. Nevertheless, this bounce looks promising and it should provide hurting longs with a small respite and perhaps an opportunity to lighten up ahead of the storm of fire.

The title would make any skeptic believe this story would turn out to be #1 horseshit — but it’s true!

My reliable source is Bloomberg via Zerohedge.

Legendary investor and now shit-bear, Stanley Drunkenmiller domp’d his stocks and went into treasuries. POMP EET.

But it’s no longer just Albert who sees a deflationary tsunami flooding over the US. The grouchy permabear was joined by billionaire Stan Druckenmiller, who said he could see the Fed funds rate going to zero in the next 18 months if the economy softens, and that he recently piled into Treasuries as the U.S. trade war with China escalated.

“When the Trump tweet went out, I went from 93% invested to net flat, and bought a bunch of Treasuries,” Druckenmiller said Monday evening quoted by Bloomberg, referring to the May 5 tweet from Trump which threatened an increase in tariffs on China and which sparked the most vicious bout of trade-war related selling yet. Explaining his decision, Druck said that it’s “not because I’m trying to make money, I just don’t want to play in this environment.”

Incidentally, for those confused what going from 93% invested to flat means, the answer is he liquidated his entire equity book.

In an interview by Key Square Capital Management founder Scott Bessent at The Economic Club of New York, Druckenmiller went against conventional, and Beijing, wisdom which believes that Trump will capitulate ahead of the 2020 elections, and said that at the moment he doesn’t see Trump giving China room for negotiation because the president sees tariffs as a winning strategy for the 2020 election. That, of course, could change if the economy and markets get weaker, he said.

“If you can analyze Donald Trump more power to you. I’ve been more wrong footed by this guy, and shame on me”, Druckenmiller summarized his feelings toward Trump.

At the same time, as we noted earlier when we pointed out that several of Druckernmiller’s key warning indicators are flashing an “amber alert”, while the former chief strategist for George Soros wouldn’t say whether the U.S. is headed for a recession, he said he sees “many warning signs” adding that he was concerned that Trump may have broken a fragile economy going into the next election and assumes he won’t be re-elected in 2020.

Looking at other asset classes, Druckenmiller said that while Treasuries have become less interesting amid the furious rally in recent days, they remain “the best game in town” if the economy deteriorates, and certainly if rates tumble another 2% to zero or below. “Gold’s not bad either,” he added.

As we reminded readers earlier today, last December Druckenmiller warned that trading conditions could worsen, and that while the indicators he historically used were not red yet…

This isn’t important because Drunkenmiller is a guru anymore — because he’s not. He’s probably a drunk senile bastard. But sentiment is important and CNBC and other networks eat stories like this up and then broadcast it around the world for clickbait in an effort to scare the shit out of Joe Public and get him to sell his stocks.

This is how panics start, with small ripples that turn into tsunamis. Can we talk about leveraged loans yet?

A few personal updates for you.

There is presently a bidding war for my house, with several all cash offers. We are expecting 5 bids in total, if not more.

Now for the bad news.

My Benz was shaking yesterday, so I left it at the dealership. Fucker called me up today and said my cylinder was busted and just to peruse into it — $1500. To fix, we’re looking any $5k. I asked for my car back. I’d rather junk the fucker than pay someone $5k to fix a fucking cylinder, believe me. I’ll likely drop it off at a local mechanic, who dings out at $120 per hour — way better than the dealership FAGS at $144.

Now whenever I get bad news like this — it could only mean one thing: MAJOR WINSHIP IS PENDING. Trust me, this is how I keep myself sane, believing in some sort of cosmic energy out there to justify all of the horrible horribles that seem to afflict me. I’m the most cursed person that I know and I know many people.

The close was solid. The core issues remain the same. “The Fly” made a bold move towards the end of the day — but cannot share it with you because that’s for Exodus members only (NEW POLICY ALERT FOR YOU GRIFTERS OUT THERE).

You like my style and panache? Good.

The one thing I can report is that I sold my largest position today, LK, for a 15% gain. It was a 15% weighting for me, so the win was significant. My NUGT position surged today, now +15% from my basis. I might move on that bitch soon, or double up, or do nothing. Wouldn’t you like to know?

Ah, the pangs of misery and scorn and the devils that surround me. Soon I’ll be leaving this place for good — until then — stay tuned!

You thought you were going to make it — but now look at you. I preside over you with 60% cash and several irons in the fire that all are working swimmingly. I’d tell you what those idea are — but they’re for Exodus closers only.

You need to pay attention to the 10-yr now. Recession is all but a foregone conclusion. We will retest the January lows.

Look at this news.

Bullard says Fed may have to cut interest rates soon due to trade wars, low inflation

And the market is responding with more selling. What does it all mean? Why are we only now burning in hell? It’s because we belong in hell and cannot bounce — because things are spiraling lower.

This is what you get when you get that exuberance going.

SAAS -5.6%.

Let’s recap.

Oil plunging.

Yields plunging.

Analyst talking global recession.

Fucking retarded morons telling you to BTFD.

Listen to me now.

It’s better to be in cash, rather than losing it all in long bets gone horribly long. You don’t owe the market anything, and most certainly not your allegiance. Your job, by definition, is to extract value from the gyrations in price. Right now, and for the most part of a month, stocks have been trending LOWER.

What’s alarming about this drop?

It’s coupled with a shocking decline in semis — off by 25%.

Gold is soaring.

The Yen is strong.

Oil is collapsing.

Bond yields are collapsing.

Talking heads are now pounding the table for ‘global recession’ thanks to trade wars.

Pray tell me, where does one place the market at the trough of said trade war? Just 5% off the highs? I think not.

Do yourselves a favour and raise some cash. I’ve been doing so all day, fortunately taking profits. I will no longer provide the readers of this fine site FREE STOCK PICKS for the duration of late spring and summer — so if you want my actionable trades — you’ll need to subscribe to Exodus — you absolute cheap bastard mother-fuckers.

The cost of Exodus is $1.36 per day. Fuck off if you think I can’t produce that much value in a given day. Fuck off I said (shakes cane furiously at young whipper snapper on lawn).

For the month of May, my quantitative portfolio netted +0.6% for the month — far outstripping the 6% loss in the SPY. Year to date, the Quant has returned +17.7%, crushing the SPY’s +10% showing to small bits and microscopic pieces.

How does it work? Why is it better?

It draws from two pools of stocks, one growth at a reasonable prices (GARP) and another value. There’s also hedges involved, all to do with TLT and GLD. But mostly, the portfolio’s strength is in its diversity, allocating to all 8 sectors of the market evenly and being steered strongly towards stocks with strong technicals. We used the Sharpe ratio as the final arbiter in this picking process.

Last year we had a similar process, but only focused on growth. This year we started a value pool in the hopes of slowing down losses during periods of duress.

So far, so good.

I’m taking the summer off in terms of providing iBankCoin readers with stock picks. I’m taking a cue off so many of you absolute manlets who are choosing to vacation this summer instead of toil. I will, of course, still offer commentary and I will be sure to brag and boast about my adventures and wins — but the picks will remain exclusive domain to the good folks in Exodus — those who choose not to vacation and drink away their time in some tropical locale amidst beautiful things and people. I choose to live amongst monsters, hardened people made from concrete, and I eat gruel, and I trade — even when it’s bad and unprofitable. I STILL TRADE.

Speaking of which, my last pick for you FAGGOTS this summer was NUGT. How’s it doing this morning? Indeud.

Futures are SOFT, but semis are up and so is my largest position LK. I am sure some of you would want to know when I intend to sell LK — but I suppose you’ll have to figure it out on your own — since I will not be telling you. Perhaps I will provide you with a rundown of my wins, just to frustrate you fucking morons and highlight the fact you are nothing compared to Le Fly.

Oil is up, but bond yields are lower. Before barreling back into stocks, you’re gonna want to see bond yields bounce higher, otherwise more panic will set in.

GOOD LUCK TRADING ON YOUR OWN FUCKED FACES!