GOOG is for Asshats

I’ve been thinking (quite diligently) about this market and have concluded they (stock robot masters) are trying to bankrupt us all, with the up and down jerky movements of the indices.

Towards the end of the day, news hit the tape that [[MBI]] may “catch” a downgrade, after all. As a result, financial stocks pared back 1/3rd of their gains.

In addition, after the close, [[GOOG]] shit the shower, sending their corn can fucking shares down 50 bucks.

In addition to the last addition, if the payroll data is bad tomorrow, prepare to seek mental therapy, for this market will fall down an open manhole, effectively “debanking” many of you top tickers.

At the end of the day, I caved in and bought some [[RIMM]], in order to mentally hedge myself. You know, feel like I’m doing something constructive, while my motherfucking inverse etf’s eat dirt.

Speaking of dirt, anticipating a GOOG miss, I bought more [[REW]]. And, just for fucks sake, I averaged down on my arch enemy: [[SKF]].

My guess, the market swan dives 1,000 points, within the next two weeks—enabling “The Fly” to buy another high end sports car and tell all of you top tickers to “go fuck a jar of jelly.”

Time Machine NOTE: The Internet is Dead.

I bought 2,000 [[SKF]] @ $96 and 1,000 [[REW]] @ $68.5.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stock because of this post, tonights dinner will be ruined by flatulence. And, you may lose money.

I bought 3,000 [[RIMM]] @ $93.

Disclaimer: If you buy RIMM because of this post, iBankCoin will sink into third tier status, due to DT’s egregious posts. And, you may lose money.

Nothing is bringing this market lower.

Whether it’s huge drops in foreign markets, miserable corporate profits, monster financial writedowns, the market keeps chugging higher.

As you know, their is a concerted effort at hand to buoy stock prices. Yet, I find myself betting against them. Fucking fucktard.

Looking at today’s tape, should the payroll data come in benign tomorrow, we’ll be up another 200.

Up until yesterday, my biggest position was cash. However, it’s not the case anymore. I refuse to chase the rally in retail, homies or banks.

I fucking refuse.

For now, I’ll ride this out.

Developing…

Unfortunately, the market is run by a bunch of pussies, unable to take losses like men. Back in the old days, investors took “hits” like champs. They’d come to work, lose 30% of their money in a fucking crash, then proceed to jump out their office window.

Not today.

Today, we have a bunch of jelly sandwich fuckers, always in need of bandaid solutions. If it’s not a stimulus package, it’s a Fed rate cut. Quite frankly, if I were President, I’d tell investors to “go fuck themselves,” and live life like the “greatest generation.” As you know, I’m talking about the true “playa’s” who endured 1929.

The Fed funds rate is at 3%, yet the bond market is pricing in another 50 bps cut. What the fuck? Do these idiots learn from past mistakes?

Answer: Of course not.

They are going to kill us all, with their insatiable demand for cheap or “near free” money. If the Fed cuts rates again, I will clean out my personal savings and put it all in gold. Fuck this paper currency crap. Better yet, “The Fly” will move to China and own yuan.

As for today’s trading:

I’m long a considerable amount of inverse etf’s, almost fully invested. Yesterday, I bought [[SKF]], [[EFU]], [[SMN]], [[DUG]], [[REW]], [[FXP]] and I shorted a little more [[LEH]]. Pardon me for not mentioning them in my retarded “Fly Buy” posts; I was quite busy.

Looking at the banks, I’m shocked they’re not lower—considering how bad MBI‘s numbers were. Without doubt, low-IQ fund managers are piling into bank stocks, like stock robots. All these idiots do is rely on their stupid models that say “buy bank stocks when the Fed cuts rates,” regardless of the news. They’ll buy these same stocks, everyday, for the next six months, even if the world is on fire.

They’re that committed to their “models.”

Finally, with my money, I will not go long anything. I do not like the risk/reward of being long, ahead of tomorrow’s non-farm payrolls data. If anything, I’ll sell short the banks again, via SKF.

Seriously, I’m not etching any of my predictions in stone. Should the economic data change, I will adjust my position. However, a certain tv personality is getting on my fucking nerves with grandiose calls of a “market bottom,” just because the Fed is cutting rates.

WTF?

First of all, he needs to quit comparing this environment to 1990. It’s not the same. The losses are much greater.

Secondly, will someone inform him that corporate profits dictate the direction of the market, not the lack of “Armageddon” in our nation’s financial system?

Thanks.

I mean, just because [[WM]] and [[C]] may stick around for the next 10 years doesn’t mean their stock prices will go up.

More craziness.

Despite the rates cuts, credit is tight. In addition to that, our consumer based economy is tapped the fuck out. Don’t believe me, take a look at the companies who do big business in the U.S. Then, look at their stock prices. Not too pretty, is it?

Suggesting stock prices can keep marching higher, because China and India are growing fast is inane. At some point, the world’s largest economy has to count. Keep on thinking it’s ok to deplete the economy of high paying manufacturing jobs, in exchange for service crap; see where it gets you.

Bottom line: After the 2000 blow-up, it took almost 3 years for the market to bottom, despite Greenspan dropping rates to a shocking 1%. Don’t listen to coked out asshats who declare market bottoms, following two tough weeks of declines. Instead, listen to anonymous bloggers, who claim to have access to time machines, and other types of “space alien magician”  technologies.

Boo-Yah!

NOTE: Before calling a bottom, watch this clip. Hat tip GreenWriter.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsatsYwqZbY 450 300]

NOTE: This is a special request from Ducati. Thank you for attending the “Platinum Party.” Be sure to take your guns and excess coke, on the way out.

No robster for you. So sorry.

As you know, immediately following the Bernanke rate cut, Cramer went on tv, exclaiming: “”the market will ramp (into the close of trading).” Furthermore, he declared: banks stocks, despite how expensive they are, were “screaming buys.”

Hence: “The Cramer Top”

After the cut, my chart guy (dumbass chart chomper) told me there was significant overhead resistance at 12,700. Aside from that, I decided to say “fuck it,” and bulk up on my shorts.

At the high of the day, I bulked up on my shorts, much to the bulls chagrin.

Finally, the fate of the world is entirely dependent on non-farm payrolls, due this Friday.

Bring your guns.

NOTE: Look for credit downgrades of [[MBI]] and [[ABK]], shortly.

UPDATE: Ackman’s letter to Moody’s, regarding the monolines.

Big reversal. The “Cramer Top” is in.

Get drunk;short stocks at will.

That is all.