Buy, Buy, Buy, Buy, Buy, Buy

Off we go like a motherfucking rocket ship.

I just got home and had a chatt [sic] with my neighbor, Steve. Dude, that guy is so fucking amped that Bernanke cut rates, coupled with Bush’s stimulus package, he just bought a new plasma. A.Brand.New.Plasma.

No kidding.

Aside from that, he’s telling me he just refinanced his house, “at significantly lower rates,” enabling him to tap that shit for a little vacation and Macy’s money.

I’m like, holy fuck, we’re gonna have a rocketship market soon. Clear the deck bitches, this market is ready to pop off, leaving every bear dead—like slugs in a salt mine.

Also, the retailers are going to take off. Shoot, forget about the “tapped out” consumer. All of a sudden, thanks to the proposed NYS bailout of [[MBI]] and [[ABK]], people are flooding my local Best Buy for the newest shit. Apparently, most of them were worried their muni insurance would go away.

Not any more.

And the banks, they’re enfuego. Everyone is refinancing. I mean everyone.

They’re so busy, my local Countrywide had to fire all of the lazy fuckers, because they were using up all the excess cocaine. As you know, excess cocaine allows the mortgage brokers to work 18 hours shifts, without lunch.

They’re just “banging out refi’s.”

A bearish friend of mine asked me: “hey Fly, what about all of the credit risk at the banks? And, how about all of the resets, while housing prices are dropping”?

I replied: “yo asshole, have you seen what the fuck is going on? Bernanke just shaved his beard on those subprime fuckers—giving them access to cheap rates again. And, with super low rates, all of those coked out mortgage workers can bang out a few million fresh mortgages for lower-middle income families, who desire 500-900k Mcmansions—effectively depleting all of the inventory at [[HOV]].

Yes, it’s that simple. Although things looked really tough for the past 3 weeks, everything is back on track.

Nasdaq 5,000 here we come!

Buy, buy, buy, buy, buy!!!

NOTE: That was one tough recession. I never want to go through that again. I’m so glad it’s over.

UPDATE: Classic CNBC.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdbvYCsr4HU 450 300]

What a fucking turnaround, once again. It goes to show you, when things look most dire, it is time to buy.

Kudos to Cramer and Kass for calling the bottom in financials, much to my chagrin.

This is what I did:

I sold all my my inverse etf’s, with the exception of [[SKF]] and [[EFU]]. Additionally, stubbornly, I continue to hold my [[DECK]] and [[LEH]] shorts.

My largest position, by far, is cash.

Look, I realize a bailout of [[MBI]] and [[ABK]] will do wonders for the banks. I’m not oblivious. However, it does not mean the banks will be back to business. There is still significant pressures within lending.

In short, I am prepared to ride SKF down another 20 points, before buying more. I will not average down here.

With today’s rally, the DOW is barely down 7%, year to date—hardly a painful decline.

When buying stocks, keep in mind, Joey Bag-o-Donuts is still one poor motherfucker, unable to buy that third plasma tv.

No way those fuckers keep their gains, in the face of this blade (bear raid) on the markets neck.

While it’s true, many of you hatfuckers are waiting for a “bounce,” it’s not happening today.

The ECB is still fighting inflation. That’s right, those fuckers are living in a world of wonder, as the planet burns.

At the same time, all of the talking heads on CNBC are telling you (internet leech) to go long stocks, for a “tradeable bottom.”

Fuck that.

If you’re in cash, stay put. If you’re short the market, press your bets son; things are about to get sporty.

With Europe down 4% and Asian stocks getting the “knife to the stomach” treatment, my guess we will decline 3% today.

With my money, I am taking advantage of the unseemly dip in [[SKF]], thanks to asshole bank dip buyers. On the next leg down, expect the SKF to touch $140.

Finally, the Fed will not cut by 50bps next week. If so, I’ll eat my website.

NOTE: I’m buying [[EFU]] here too. Fuck Asia.

I sold 10,000 [[DUG]] @ $52.5.

I sold 5,000 [[SMN]] @ $57.50.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tJNL-hqZx8 450 300]

I bought 3,000 [[REW]] @ $76.50.

Disclaimer: If you buy REW because of this post, the next time the market crashes, your discount house account will be frozen, due to technical difficulties. And, you may lose money.

I sold short 2,000 [[DECK]] @ $123.

UPDATE: I sold short 1,000 @ $115.

Disclaimer: If you sell short DECK because of this post, President Bush will be seen wearing Uggs. And, you may lose money.

I bought 10,000 shares of [[SKF]] @ $118.

Disclaimer: If you buy SKF because of this post, Bernanake will fall out of his helicopter. And, you may lose money.