Oil Strong and Tech Weak in Early Trade

Within oil/gas, HERO (+14%) CQP (+16%), LNG (+34%) and PDC (+5.5%) are leading the charge higher, thanks to escalating violence in God’s sandbox. On the other hand, tech stocks are getting poleaxed, led by losses in FNSR (-35%), OCLR (-17%), OPXT (-16%) and JDSU (-12.8%).

With strength in crude, Airline stocks find themselves on the receiving end of egregious homo-hammers, while refiners, as well as most oil related stocks, trend higher— ever so gingerly.

As cool as $100+ oil is, the market hates it. Every time we uptick in crude, the market legs lower. Trading civil unrest is difficult, especially when it’s an armed conflict. Will it spread to Algeria and Saudi Arabia? If not, perhaps oil is $20 rich here and worth betting against, via SCO. However, how can I put that trade on while the middle east is so volatile?

Answer: I can’t.

Hence, we are stuck with expensive crude, which hurts consumption. Higher crude serves as a tax and Wall Street does not like it. Even worse, oil and gas stocks, aside from the degenerate small cappers, aren’t even benefiting from this shit storm. The market is dying to trade higher. It wants a reason to rally to 14,000 AND MORE. However, I’m afraid that the crude wall being built up on a daily basis will kill this rally where it stands. The downside could be significant, should the high energy prices permeate consumer spending habits.

Until the middle east simmers down a bit, I’m afraid your best trade is a quick one or cash.

Starting immediately, Mr. Caine Thaler will be leading the charge to provide macro/news related items for iBankCoin. Additionally, all of you small dogs, as well as staff writers, may participate in this new venture of mine. Should any of you feel the urge to post an editorial or news related item, inside the Peanut Gallery, there will be a box for you to check that will say “news.” Should you have the courage and the internal fortitude to check it, your drivel will be exported to my new box, named “The iBC Financial News Network.”

Upon being populated there, instantly, you will be greeted by beautiful woman and people will ask for your autograph. Tier one brokerage firms will send hookers to your apartments, in an attempt to woo you. However, all said attempts will fall flat, as you are a dedicated iBC Newsroom attendant, whose job is to deliver news items in a way that will appall, yet amaze, all of those who read it.

Why am I doing this?

Because I can. It’s as simple as that.

Should any of you stand out, as always, you might earn a spot here on iBC and partake in all of the advertising riches that come our way. In addition to that, you will have full use of our corporate jet and access to our news penthouse suites, located in the mountainous region of Azuga, Romania.

Be well and blog like the fucking wind men.

NOTE: Make sure your titles are relevant to the contents of the post, else I will murder you where you sit.

NOTE 2: iBC Financial News Network will have its own Twitter acct: @iBC_fn. Follow us here.

There was no reason behind today’s rally. Europe was sucking knee-caps and the world, for lack of a better term, was retarded. The dickless eunuchs from Time magazine ignored the spaced aged shit being purported on iBC, in exchange for the money losing ways of helium suckers like ZH. But what should one expect, when dealing with the old graybeards from Time? I doubt their editors even search the web, let alone understand the purpose of financial blogging. If you believe financial blogging is all about whoring news like a fucking 5 year old, go elsewhere. However, if you’re interested in changing your lives, by way of increased net worth: visit iBankCoin daily.

Today’s rally was an odd one, led by oddball sectors, like healthcare. Hospital stocks lifted higher, led by HMA and LPNT. Home healthcare names like GTIV and CHE took off, as a variety of tech and Ag names sucked wood. I am not so sure this is rotation. If anything, the smoking hot sectors needed a breather. What’s impressive about this rally is that it didn’t need the leadership names to run. This tells me that money wants to be long, no matter what. It’s like playing whack-a-mole.

Get your hammers ready.

Top picks: AVL, OPEN, MAS

I bought 5,000 AVL in the $7.80’s.

Disclaimer: If you buy AVL because of this post, your only daughter will marry Lenny Dykstra. And, you may lose money.

Sell zone averted. Back to handing out beat downs to your local burlap’d bearshitter.

As Europe deals with bad bond auctions, I am on the lookout for market deterioration. In order to get me to sell, I need to see fucked up price action in leadership stocks, as well as commodities. I might give gold, silver and oil a pass, due to mid-east chicanery.

And, I need to see both the bond markets and dollar firm up. In other words, I need to see Bernanke and his POMO ways take a breather, giving way to good olde fashioned deflationary vortex.

It’s a hard call, mainly because of seasonality. After all, we’re in fucking March, not September. According to the laws dictated by the seasonality Gods, we are supposed to trade up until May. However, we are dealing with a series of unforeseen events here that shit in the face of so called “seasonality Gods.”

In short, I’d love to see gorillas on cocaine ramp this market up, so that I can blast gangster rap music in my office, as I slap the shit out of low level employees with hot slices of pizza. But sometimes dreams do not come true, jackass. Welcome to the real world.

Speaking of which, Dykstra is back and crazier than ever. You’re all gonna suck his cock: the American ghandi.

My beta is higher than yours because I want to make more. Some of you are content with making 11% per annum; I’d jump off the Empire State building if I was subjected to that. I haven’t lost money in the market since, oh, 2004. Consistently, I bang out 50%+ gains, every year, as if that shit was normal. Today I lost more than 2.3%, lowering my boon to a touch over 10%. I haven’t been killing it yet because I don’t want to. I’m handicapping myself so that you fucking retards can catch up.

If you doubt what I am saying to you, tune in every day and watch me destroy this tape or any tape tossed my way.

In my personal account, I took a drubbing in OPEN today. But, that was offset by my dicerolls in DPTR (closed out), MPET and KAZ. It’s a crazy hedge. But I am betting that shit blows up, taking the shorts apart in ambulances, leading to a monster rip in OPEN. Or, the middle eastern cavemen fuck with our chocolate syrup, lending to fanatical speculation in micro cap oil stocks. Hence my position is correct.

Scary people with guns are running around in Libya shooting camels, while Americans snort cocaine off gasoline pump handles. FOX NEWS is running exclusive coverage on how the democratic party intends to kill and hide the remains of Jesus, should he ever decide to pop up again. MSNBC is covering a destitute and armless union worker, who had his arms cut off by the Governor of Wisconsin. Things are awry, as Saddam would always say when US warplanes unloaded their “smart bombs” on his future place of execution.

The market is getting hammered, as investors check the fuck out. No one cares about the economy or POMO anymore, just Libya and their stupid civil war. On Jupiter’s stone, may the House of Saud fall in a most heinous fashion, sending oil to $1,000 AND MORE.

It makes no sense for me to give advice, based upon something that is so volatile. However, I am not selling out of any of my positions, just yet. It’s alright to lose money, every so often. It’s good for the soul and makes a man out of you. So what your account was bigger on Friday. Quit bellyaching about the market and try to predict the next series of egregious events with Space Alien Magician (SAM) accuracy.

As for me, I remain long a boatload of shit, namely BORN, OPEN, APC, BZ, FLWS, MAS, ARO, CENX PSUN, as well as new spec plays KAZ, MPET and NGAS.

More lotto action.

I bought more MPET and initiated a new position in KAZ.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, Libya will be liberated by the second coming of George Washington and oil will plummet. And, you may lose money.