Up, Up and Away

Made another 0.25%, stretching my year to date gains to 4%. May your 3rd and 4th tier fortunes enjoy the same splendor as my first.

This rally wasn’t supposed to happen. But the magicians from Wall Street, as well as other avenues of excess worldwide, have juiced up the shares of BAC–turning it into a weapon against the bear-minded trouble makers.

The rally in heavily shorted names continues, to the benefit and delight of those long DECK and LULU. Also, as the rolly-polies get out of bed and into sweat-suits, shares of fitness names are soaring. From WTW, to NTRI, to MED to DIET to BC–all mean and green.

I remind myself, upon witnessing this action, it is all phantasm. Every once in awhile we get a real glimpse behind the curtain and it is not pretty. Eventually, the cosmetics will wear off and the curtain will come down. At that point, the majority of you will turn to salt and crumble in fear at the specter that is the markets problems.

Until then, rejoice in the gilded decadence that is momentum. Behold the gold plated and ruby encrusted news flow and sop up the consommé that is emanating from the brow of staggered short sellers.

GOOG has been a stellar outperformer over the past 6 months. You know what else has performed admirably over the past 6 months? No, I wasn’t going to litter this blog with perverse exclamations. Where were you raised, an Ohioan barn?

Big, stupid, food companies and large industrial names have done well.

Here are some of the “exciting” winners over the past 6 months, sorted by market cap.

AAPL +18%
WMT +11%
GOOG +24%
PM +19%
INTC +14%
MRK +12%
MCD +17%
CSCO +20%
SNP +15%
V +14%

Okay, when the shareholders of those companies aren’t inducing sleep through ambiens, they are beating people into comas with their canes. It truly is wondrous to see so many large cap stocks with such big gains, during a period when the European Union was/is on the verge of failure. Perhaps there is a hidden message, encrypted in the performance data of the aforementioned mega-caps? I believe, if anything, they are telling us to urinate on Europe, while getting long Big American, fat ass, companies.

This is of great interest to me.

Having a looksy over my biggest losers of 2011, there was a common denominator. The vast majority of my losers were mid to micro cap names. Essentially, investors are shitting on the small, while lauding and bedazzling large cap names with jewels. There is something to be said about this, AND MORE.

If the question was proposed to me, “How long can the mundane last?”–I’d say indefinitely. After all, the above companies have balance sheets better than any sovereign nation. So, one could make the argument that instead of money fleeing Europe for American treasuries, it would be better suited in GOOG bonds or MCD, no?

The run is not over.

If TLT can hit absurd levels, so can the PE multiples of large cap generals. There will come a point when investors say “fuck this shit”, after getting whipsawed in speculative tech and commodity names, and just allocate the whole thing into mega-caps paying rich divvies. These companies are better than gold, treasuries and munis. They are vital to life and are more credit worthy than the United Steaks, Chiner and Fag-land combined.

The condensed message of this post: if you’re gonna get long, do it big cap, or suffer the consequences of uncertainty.

Hungarian CDS and sovereign bond yields are maniacal to the upside. No one trusts the shit coming out of Italy and Spain, do you really think they will trust those filthy bastards from the East? All of the Balkans are in danger of getting flushed. If that happens, European banks will take another hit, especially Swedish banks, who have especially high exposure to the animals from that part of the world.

If you think about it, this is a desirable outcome. After all, Darwinism is the best form of filter for mankind. Let the weak and the impaired suffer and die. It is the will of the Gods, it shall be done.

Moving on, they are remaking the 80’s hit movie Red Dawn. Do you remember that shit? This time, instead of bastards from Nicaragua and Russia invading Kansas, it will be the Chinese. Actually, it was supposed to be the Chinese invading the US–but they digitally changed it to North Koreans because Chinese money is flooding into the pockets of degenerates in Hollywood. Can you believe that? We can no longer make movies that insult the feelings of the gayish Chinese because they are financing everything. Fuck a giraffe running sideways inside of an ice cream truck.

Finally, unemployment numbers are getting better. It’s an election year, so expect a full court press by the red Obama party to give the illusion of prosperity. They will take pictures of people driving wooden Rolls Royce prop cars, then say “see, everyone is rich as fuck again. Vote O.”

In summary, Hungary is in need of emergency IMF funding and Italy has a mammoth bond auction at the end of the month. Trade accordingly.

The CES trade show is coming soon, something I used to get all giddy about when I was playing MVIS for some “Joozy news.” The truth is, Intel is the only company there worth listening to because all of the products “revealed” are huckster-horseshit.

Sure, you will see stuff from SIGM, NVDA, ROVI and others, but who cares? It’s just an excuse for third rate salesmen to get drunk, pass out, and piss all over themselves, following the “grand presentation.”

For the love of a gorilla god, the fucking show is in Vegas. Some of you like Vegas. I think it’s the ashtray of America, where hookers and alcoholics pair up to spread venereal diseases to the rest of America. Going to Vegas to “get rich” is like moving to Tehran for religious freedom.

Speaking of Iran, I just love the way those stupid camel molesters think they can get away with bossing us around. We will shoot their navy out of the water from outerspace! We will send loser farmers from 0hio, who are most accustomed to beating cows and chickens to death with their bare fists for sport, to guard POW camps filled with these Iranian navy fuckers. The boys from 0hio will make them donkey punch each other, whilst documenting the whole thing on their stupid iPhones–because they are jackasses.

America is a fucked up place, loaded with people suffering from acute dementia. You do not want to fuck with our oil supplies, else we will find ample reasons to “disarm” your stupid country, killing scores of “rebels”,”terrorists” and “insurgents”, razing hospitals and cemeteries along the way, until we run out of fucking money.

Keep in mind, Ben Bernanke has an endless supply of that shit.

As you know, I’ve declared that 2012 would be the year of charity by yours truly. Both monetarily and mood, I shall bestow gifts upon the people around me. Come March, during the annual iBC March Madness contest, I will be giving away $1,000 to the winner. As we speak or rather read this, I am having my staff think of two more contests, just to give me an excuse to donate money to those of you accessing the internet from one of the many housing tenements in America. And right now, I am accepting apologies from the great many of you who besmirched me for owning both LULU and DECK.

I wish to engage the nabobs on this site who call my honor and know how into question. Step forth young man and have your say!

NFLX sprinted higher. I should have bought it this morning when Ragin’ mentioned it inside of 12631. Nevertheless, there are other stocks worth a look here. I will give you two, as an example of my charity: FOSL, WLT or maybe even WHR.

The month of January is all about psychological warfare. Everyone is trying to outmaneuver one another to get an edge, a jumpstart if you will, to start the new year well. Typically, the sloth gets in late and ends up getting decapitated in February, traditionally a very hard month.

In summary, apologies and being accepted and I am on the verge of making two surgical moves. They are chess moves–not the sort of thing you are used to watching on Twitter–you small, dirty, disgusting dog pleb of a man.

Off to drink some Earl Grey.

While most of you wallow in substandard positions, “The Fly” is ripping higher today, buoyed by LULU, DECK, DVR and WNR. The very stocks that served as an albatross to me are propelling me now to greater heights. You called DECK a loser because it traded lower from my original basis. But what you fail to acknowledge is the patience and deepness of my commitment to seeing it profitable. I do not care if the stock trades lower, on no news, over a two week time span. Before I am done here on iBankCoin, I hope you learn the ancient art of patience, often exhibited here by Plutonium Petey aka “The Fly.”

For the day, I am up more than 2%, putting year to date gains at 3.5%. All of the money I make here will be used to finance my Orbital Space Cannon project, for the explicit purposes of offensive measures. Remember, I have a great many enemies, most of whom lurk in the darkest shadows of America, vagrants, miscreants of the first order.

Enough about me and my little problems. How are you doing? Are you buckled into the FAZmobile, awaiting something grande? Are you planning a trip to some place exotic?

There are so many stocks that tempt me here, even NFLX. However, I am purposely distracting myself to avoid adding more money to this tape. In my estimation, the correct trade is to raise cash or hedge. I have no urge to liquidate my positions today because they are behaving like top hatted gentlemen. But I am watching them, ever so closely–and at the first sign of weakness, I will sell them and replace them with marble statues or $5,000 bottles of vintage Bordeaux.

The big, bad Italian bank, Unicredit, is going to market–raising 7.5 billion euros. I anticipate this to be the first of many capital raises, onerous in nature–greatly dilutive to current shareholders. Keep in mind, Unicredit is raising capital at a 69% discount to current share price. You need to be careful when navigating the financial landscape.

My largest position, LULU, is sprinting higher today. I anticipate my enemies in LULU, those who oppose all that is good and just in this world, to be skinned alive today. Should you stare into the abyss that is unlimited in nature, which is the potential downside of short sellers of LULU and decide to short DECK, based upon specious rumors of warm weather (it’s cold as fuck today), you may indeud share a similar fate.

Let it be known and have it spread like the plague, 2012 will be the year of “The Fly”.

After yesterday’s purchase of TZA, my cost basis is now $26.40, or down 2.3% from current prices.

Do you need to worry today?

Well, European yields and CDS spreads are hardly moving. People are only concerned about the dilutive effects of egregious share offerings. Nevertheless, I do not sense imminent danger here. As a matter of fact, I would be surprised if the bulls laid down and let the disgusting clowns– who live on Twitter– dictate the tone, so early in the new year.

Pardon my imprudence for interrupting your evening with yet another blog. However, I thought it was a good time to update you all on my Silvery Reversal post from last week. Happily for my good friend, Senator Gint, both gold and silver have saved him from a rude opening to 2012. Out of nowhere, inflation seems to be the trade. However, I warn you now, be careful about acting in haste and do not forget the insolvent realties in Europe.

Here are the results from The PPT proposed ZSL short.

Naturally, one would assume that this is mere coincidence, an aberration of sorts. The truth is, this is the 15th of 16 previous occasions that The PPT has nailed ZSL, almost to the day.

What next?

Well, I added one last round of TZA today, completing the third tranche of my buying program. Should this trade end up a loser, I am willing to accept that. The whole idea is adhering to certain disciplines and believing in them, especially when your faith in them are tested.

Having said all of that, I enjoyed a 1.65% rally in my holdings today. I will be selling into strength, but not all. My target cash percentage goal is anywhere from 40-60%. As you could understand, I was in no way largely exposed to the market elements today, as most of you vagrant gamblers made north of 5%.

At any rate, it’s gonna be a long, long year and the majority of you, on your own, will be insolvent before 2013 is ushered in. Everything you saw today was a lie. Enjoy it while you can because it will be short lived and Italy is gonna fuck the planet soon enough.

UPDATE: This is hilarious, especially if you’re in the business.

H/t Backnfill

The eastern lunatics in Iran have helped my small cap oil stocks charge higher, thanks to their high tech weaponry and cavalier attitude towards the United Steaks. As they fire patriotic missiles into the sky, shares of GMXR, DVR and WNR spring higher. Naturally, our aircraft carriers cower in some remote corner of the Persian Gulf, afraid of the horrors that await them at the hands of Gods navy.

If Iran accomplishes the unthinkable by closing the Straights of Hormuz, I shall send their leader a box of chocolates, as a gift, to congratulate them on such an act of heroism. Then I shall hedge myself via buying LMT, NOC and ATK, just in case we accidentally drop 10,000 tonnes of explosives on Tehran.

Aside from the alarming sell-offs in both LULU and DECK, I am having a good day. It is not a 1st tier day, where my largest holdings explode, without fences, to the upside. I consider today a moderate move higher, perhaps a 3rd of 4th tier day. Many of you are having the time of you lives, locked and loaded all of the trash that was discarded towards the end of the New Year. Boastfully, you took said trash and polished it off and proudly put it on your mantle for the world to see. Just one week ago, the world would have laughed at you, calling you all sorts of derogatory names for proudly displaying such offal. But today you are an economist, a man able to see far into the future. A man of substance.

As for me, I have several more conference calls to partake in today, all to do with first class money management. Without remorse, I have disclosed on numerous occasions my desire to outstrip all of you. By design, I will accomplish this task, yet again, on the eyes of Jupiter, in grotesque fashion this year. My winship will be delivered continuously and belligerently, regardless of etiquette. After enduring the pangs of hell in 2011, “The Fly” (aka “The Fry” in China) will majestically rise to the sky, like a gallant Iranian missile in the Persian Gulf, to crush his many enemies in 2012. My only hope is that you do not get in my way, dear friends.