Back at the Turret

I really despise that statement: “back at the turret.” Don’t you? It’s a blanket insult to all men in the armed forces who’ve manned a turret before. My job is simply annoying, which is why I choose to ignore it sometimes. Those of you in the business know exactly what I speak of. It’s hard to be an over-achiever 365 days a year. Every so often, one fancies to do nothing but exercise and  listen to gangster rap music, while one’s wife becomes irate over the explicit content of such songs.

Look, the market is beyond annoying right now, fixed on every congressional press release, detached from reality. I’ve made my bed, long and leveraged at 130%, so I am lying in it.

That’s all there is to it.

Whether I will be proven right or wrong is immaterial. Of course I should be proven correct, since my bet is the high probability trade. I go with the percentages and this is my call. If you don’t like it, leave.

Oh, I hope you short sellers rather enjoyed today’s reversal.

Before I delve into the corruptness that is the US congress, I wanted to give you an update on my latest venture. Aside from the Orbital Space Cannon (OSC), “The Fly” has been working hard at the gym, learning and implementing strategies pertaining to the creation of muscle and brute strength, to be used at a later date–strictly for offensive measures only.

Thus far, my plans are working, swimmingly, as I’ve cut body fat down to 12%, while doubling strength. By 11/1/13, I intend to begin the “bulk phase” of my programme, which should last until May, at which point another “cutting” phase will commence through the summer. For those of you who are too lazy to figure this stuff out, just know, 70% of the effort is diet.

Back to the markets: Congress hasn’t done anything yet. Therefore, the markets are getting nervous, and so should you. The retard himself, Ted Cruz, has seized control of our government, like a cheap Mexican coup and has unleashed his policia on the populous (absolutely no racism in that statement!). Brace yourselves for the incredible, for these Palin “Tea Party” extremists mean to take down the nation, in order to rebuild it in the Lord’s vision.

A profound danger lies ahead for us stock market plungers. One could only hope for sanity to infect the small minds of the Congressional brain-trust, so that we, the small people of America, could go about our piddly lives banking millions of dollars off of speculative high beta Chinese accounting fraud trades.

Did I just say that? Something bad is going to happen, isn’t it!

A very common theme I’ve learned to understand is that people tend to gamble their own money like sailors, but prefer to be stewards of austerity when it comes to inheritance or gifts. They will buy Chinese burrito accounting scams in their own accounts on margin, but Disney for their stupid grandkids. If you really think about it, the exact opposite should occur, being that the stupid grandkids are considerably younger and have many years of earnings ahead.

Nevertheless, I understand the sentiment of wanting to gift the kids with something that will be around and can grow for an extended period of time.

There are several prerequisites one must apply when screening for these stocks, the first being dividends. Your choices MUST pay dividends. Do not force me to explain why; instead, why don’t you take my word for it? The second and third are minimum market cap of $1 billion and earnings per share profitability. Discard with the high beta money losers. After all, these securities are for your stupid grandkids.

Lastly, I like to screen for growth when I can. I’ve placed in a minimum growth metric of 15% for revenues and 5% for earnings. In addition, I’ve taken into consideration return on equity, a true measure of a companies vibrancy.

Here are my picks and this is my screen.

QCOM

AMT

INTU

EMN

WLP

ETN

IACI

BX

MTB

BKH

This was designed to be implemented as a portfolio, not singular picks. I’ve found, in my many years of experience, managing money professionally, that having the larger picture in mind is always preferred to the degeneracy of the short lived piker day trader bastard.

I closed the day +1.2%, leveraged at 130% of assets, smoking my pipe filled with the remains of my enemies.

I am not required to say anything else; therefore, I will not.

Good day.

I added to my TRLA position.

The 300 point rally cracked the cement heads of Tea Party republicans to strike a deal. Although nothing has been announced yet, I am fairly certain something will be announced within a week. Now the focus will shift to earnings, then holiday sales. For the most part, retail sales have been lackluster. But, many retail stocks have been hammered in recent months. There is opportunity in the sector.

Gold is being destroyed today because stupid people own it.

I like my chances at adding to gains today. Optimism should continue into the weekend. I can’t think of a reason to be short right now. It is a recipe for capital losses.

Top picks: BALT, YELP, YY, SUNE.

Your mother is a goat-sucking whore! If my stocks go down tomorrow because of you, I am going to fill this fancy box with your testicles (maniacal laugh…OVER).
-SKELETOR

Do not fret about stocks any longer. Rejoice in the grandeur that is Secretary Lew. He saved the day, with his annoyed demeanor and direct punches to the face of retarded congressmen.

Expect the market to trade to new highs, because QE infinitum is back in play.

Several hours ago, I went back in, fully long, leveraged at 120% long. Aside from the stocks that I own, I like GOGO, GIMO, WETF and WDAY.

This isn’t a debate. I am relaying future facts to you today.

Just in case you’re wondering, yes, The PPT nailed it again.

Much to my surprise, the GOP caved after the Lew testimony. Based upon my over-arching bullish thesis, I am obligated to go “all in” on any news that we will not commit national suicide.

As such, I added to BALT, NSTG and YELP, while starting new positions in YY and TRLA.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRhNcH1aIf8

Being 70% long into today, I am enjoying the respite. After watching Secretary Lew’s testimony, I am more convinced than ever about the stupidity infecting the brains of our congress, especially the GOP.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THESE PEOPLE? I thought they were the party of big business? Now they are the party of destruction, gold bugs in the craw of the American public. I can’t take it anymore.

Look, I’d love to tell you the crisis is over. His testimony was very direct and eloquent. However, these Tea Party guys, spearheaded by hard core ideologues, ARE NOT LISTENING.

In short, enjoy the respite and take money off the table. Do not trust your local congressman to do the right thing.